tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post729585123921146747..comments2023-12-10T07:27:17.914-05:00Comments on Never a Dull Moment: My Brain just Had to Turn OnClaudiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02057662343562530495noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-58431573499656485952010-04-30T19:37:00.862-05:002010-04-30T19:37:00.862-05:00I have 10 kids. #1 (47 yrs)has very low functionin...I have 10 kids. #1 (47 yrs)has very low functioning Down Syndrome (IQ in the 20's), ADHD,heart defect, and bilateral cleft lip and palate, #2 (42) has ADHD and learning disabilities, was into alcohol as a teen. #3 (41) has ADHD, #4 (40)has Graves disease, #5(38)has ADHD, epilepsy, learning disabilities, mental illness (Depression & I suspect bipolar and PTSD), he was molested at 7 by a neighbor and again as a teen by a teacher. His birth was traumatic. He was into illegal activity and One of his best friends killed a cop and was killed by a cop. His IQ is low. He is vulnerable and frequently taken advantage of. He has chemical dependency issues. #6 (35)was into alcohol as a teen, She has Addison's. #7 (25)has ADHD, depression, and poor social skills. #8 (20) was molested by family from infancy, has Oppositional Defiance Disorder, She is mildly retarded, has ADHD, has sympyoms of depression, has full blown RAD and functional skills of a 12 year old.<br />#9 (12)has ADD, autistic traits, poor social skills, and functional skills of a 5 yr. old. Her IQ is normal. #10 (11) has ADHD, Cerebral Palsy, mild retardation, Conduct disorder NOS, Learning Disabilities, has had 3 psychiatric hospitalizations and Day treatment. He was "kicked out" of the last 2 because he needed one on one care and staff wasn't available to provide it. His education has been in a self enclosed EBD setting since first grade. one summer was in home tutoring as there were no other options.<br /><br />Now my question is this, how could any of them be parented successfully in the same way? Kids are not cutout cookies, each is one of a kind.Just mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00650537656243597098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-1523535026191006632010-04-30T13:18:53.965-05:002010-04-30T13:18:53.965-05:00I'm the one with more rules and structure, the...I'm the one with more rules and structure, the one more likely to be willing to confront someone over failure to comply with the rules and my hubby is the one who dislikes confrontation and MUCH prefers peace and getting along - to the point of letting too much go, IMO. What helps me, some anyway, these days, is reminding myself of Heather Forbes' line about "what can I do in this moment to improve our relationship?" Usually, confronting them on any sort of rules does NOT help the relationship. If they're in a decent mood and I just make one mild comment in a friendly voice, it may not hurt the relationship or escalate, but beyond that - it's better not to go, most of the time.Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00109103356308655727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-48822775307775238792010-04-30T11:20:13.612-05:002010-04-30T11:20:13.612-05:00I have yet to encounter all that but I know what y...I have yet to encounter all that but I know what you mean about the rules and the control, I like to have things work in a well ordered fashion so that I always know what is up. But we only have 2 so far.stellarparenting.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-42471900211621049682010-04-30T09:37:35.933-05:002010-04-30T09:37:35.933-05:00Nt personal experience (yet) but I remember anothe...Nt personal experience (yet) but I remember another blogger talking about how she fit better with one of her sons because her parenting style worked with him. She'd tried it with kid #2 and got nowhere. She struggles to parent him differently since it's harder for her to do things his way, and because it means the kids are treated differently. But there is, I'm sure, more peace in the house because of that! IIRC, it's the opposite of you--she's more relaxed and one kid just didn't do things in that environment and needed more direction.AnnMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05505967972774910106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-25792210989727704572010-04-30T09:03:02.785-05:002010-04-30T09:03:02.785-05:00Maybe control is not everything when it comes to r...Maybe control is not everything when it comes to raising our kids?!GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.com