If I had more energy I might be able to make this post hilarious. Instead it will most likely be just factual. But you never know.
Yesterday Bart had a three hour meeting giving me what I envisioned to be three great hours where I could just enjoy something relaxing. I had planned to use it to sort through digital photos on my computer, organize them some, and free up some hard drive space. Five of the kids had been at a lock in the night before and thus I figured they would sleep all afternoon. Of course the cooperative ones did. But Tony didn't think he needed to sleep, more than likely because he had snored through church in the back row where I couldn't reach to wake him as I was busy poking Sadie up front.
I can easily divide my 3 hours of piece into three neat segments:
Segment One: Tony Begging. The first hour was Tony begging for me to take him to buy a game for his X-Box. He said his Dad had given him money (which was true, I confirmed it with Bart later) and he wanted to get a game. Since he had thoroughly done his dishes, something that has never happened, I figured he was due for a reward. I was just not wanting it to be during my "Three Hours of Peace" I finally realized after the first hour, that if I were to just take Tony that maybe we could get back and I could have 90 minutes of peace.
Segment Two A: Taking everyone everywhere. John needed a ride to a friends and since I was going to be in the van anyway, why not? Except that the friend lived five miles in the opposite direction. So it took almost a full hour to get everyone where they needed to go. And Jimmy and Tony came back in from the game store reporting that they had not found anything cheap enough to buy. Something was fishy when they didn't push me very hard to go to another store, but I just let it go. Upon our arrival at home, Tony was being very rude to me. As I'm walking to the house, I turned to tell him that I was regretting my decision to take him if he was going to be that rude.
Segment Two B: All H*** Breaks Lose. As I was turning, I slipped, and fell on the concrete. My ankle turned and I landed on the other knee and both elbows. My phone, which had been in my hand, went flying and Tony immediately grabbed it, insisting he was going to call Bart and interrupt his meeting. I was not dead, nor was I going to die, and it really wasn't an emergency. So I was trying to persuade him to give me the phone. He was screaming curse words at the top of his lungs for the ears of the neighbors, and I was trying to get him to stop, though it was a bit difficult as I was managing my own pain and trying to figure out how I was going to get my low-thyroid, overweight, out-of-shape, exhausted big self off the ground.
Dominyk came rushing out to see my lying there and quickly went in to tell the others in the house what he had assumed happened -- that Tony had pushed him down. This incensed Tony who took after Dominyk, injuring him slightly, so Dominyk came out to cry to me because apparently crying to ones ownself (as they would say in the south, right Cindy) isn't nearly as satisfying. So Tony, not able to stay in the house any longer because he has already made Dominyk cry, comes back outside to yell at me some more. So I'm lying on the ground with both of them yelling above me, crying and screaming and arguing and blaming. At that moment, Jimmy walks out to tell me that Tony HAD indeed purchased a game -- but that it was a $20 game because he had stolen money from us. They start to argue very loudly about the whole situation. Finally I pulled myself off the ground and hobbled into the house.
Segment Three: Listening to Tony and then listening to Dominyk. The next twenty minutes were spent with Tony at the top of his voice (his remote is broke and his voice is stuck on the highest volume) telling me what his consequences should be for stealing the money and how Jimmy should have equal consequences because he had gone along and lied too. All I wanted was for Tony to go away and let me nurse my wounds and my pride (as if I have any left) but that was not going to happen.
I finally got him to leave when Dominyk came in, completely agitated from all of the events and started to chant about what time it was and what time it was time to leave for youth group. That lasted for a full 50 minutes until it was time to leave when he headed out to get in the front seat and Sadie, seeing that was his goal, slipped by him and got the front which sent him into a complete meltdown where he was trying to break everything in sight. Fortunately Bart came home to end my 3 hours of peace at that time and took him for a drive to calm him down.
My ankle is swollen, my knee is bruised, my elbows hurt, and I was seriously planning on going to the Y this morning, but that provided me with reasons or excuses not to go.
Next time I plan on peace, I'm going to remember today.