Thursday, March 11, 2010

It's the Inconsistencies

I realized today that that is what drives me crazy. I know that teenagers fluctuate from being very mature to being quite immature, but add special needs and mental illness and organic brain damage due to prenatal exposure to alcohol and wow. You really never know what you're going to get.

Yesterday morning at our house was like a dream. Everything went perfectly. Dominyk acted like he was a fairly normal 13 year old, got ready without argument in 15 minutes, and nobody else had any issues either. There was no yelling, no cursing, no crying. It was as though I lived in a house full of "normal" teenagers.

This morning. Wow. Polar opposite. Dominyk cried, screamed and cussed for a full 35 minutes, making us all late getting out the door. He could do nothing by himself and was functioning like a two year old.

I have countless other examples of this being true. One day a kid acts like an adult and the next day like a preschooler. My mind keeps spinning.

One of the other challenges is that I am probably the most consistent person anyone will ever meet. I change very little. And so for me to be surrounded by people who are so inconsistent -- it's a challenge.

I know many of you have this issue with your kids/teens..... how do you keep sane?


GB's Mom said...

I am not sure that I am sane. I try to keep my sanity in my blog, so when I realize I don't have it, I know where to look. And it is not just teenagers. My 24 year old daughter, FASD, RAD, Bipolar, is still all over the place in terms of emotional maturity.

Kat said...

What IS consistent is, of course, the inconsistencies and the two steps forward, one step back (in a good week). I try to thoroughly enjoy the good times, even though I know, know, know in the back of my head that good times today, this week, mean heck to pay in the near future - their damaged brains and emotions can't handle success or tranquility for very long, so they have to revert to "normal" - chaos, failure, anger, etc.

I'm trying to learn to "enjoy" the not so good times as well - every one of those times gives me the opportunity to connect with them even thru all their stuff, to prove (again) that I'm Mom forever, in spite of what they do or feel, or what they think of themselves.

Susan said...


Katie said...

that's what i'm talking about claudia! thank you! and it is hard! the worst is dealing with school and seeing two different kids! i love respite and bedtime...yikes that is harsh. but it is soooo wearing. a slightly commical phrase from a professional was, "each day is a new day" no, literally- they don't remember on thing to the next. unless its something stupid about wanting a different peds rehab worker for them. then they know exactly what to say just enough to confuse the entire audience of some mixed up reality. then i wonder how much to cover up or to bust. i am just thankful for God's mercy, because no one needs it as i!!!

Anonymous said...

I have a flask. I am not kidding.

And reading other people's stories really helps me feel less alone.

Beyond that, I believe firmly that my kids are better off with me than without me. No. Matter. What. And I hang onto that. Many days, that's all I get.