Sunday, May 23, 2010

Feeling Like a Hypocrite

Wow, re-entry is not going all that well. I am anxious, did not sleep well, and am frustrated that my children think they don't have to do anything when I'm gone. I think that it shows disrespect for their Dad and that he shouldn't have to follow them around making them do what they know they are supposed to do.

I spend a lot of time teaching workers how to tell parents to do nice things like disengage, self-differentiate, not escalate behaviors, ignore the small stuff and all kinds of wonderful techniques. Truth is, some days I just can't practice them.

i didn't sleep well last night and this morning i'm just dragging. I'm certainly not cheerfully beepopping around singing little happy ditties and inviting the kids to join in. Of course I never do that.

I guess that I would just expect my "neuro-typical" kids to be able to at least think to themselves, if they hadn't done their chores all week long, "Hey, Mom is coming home. She's going to notice. I should do them quick." Then at least they wouldn't have me coming home annoyed.

So sometimes I feel like a hypocrite..... but it's not really that. IT's just that some days I don't have what it takes to practice what I preach. My sermons are accurate, but I need to apply them consistently. And sometimes, I just don't have it in me.

But there's always another day to try.


Kari said...

I've been there. Keep teaching and keep trying at home. The difference between a trainer like you who lives it and one who just knows the information is that you have a wisdom and an empathy for the families who actually live this life. It isn't easy but it is a path worth taking. :-)

GB's Mom said...

That is the best thing about life- all the chances you get to try again!