Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Focusing on What Is

This morning at the Y I gave myself a talking to about focusing on what is instead of what it WOULD be like, what it SHOULD be, what COULD be, or what MIGHT HAVE BEEN. Getting caught in the trap of focusing on those things can make a person downright miserable. Trust me, I've done it. More than once. A day.

Here are some examples:

I can focus on what it would be like if all my kids were straight A students who loved to read OR I can focus on the fact that for the first time in years all of my kids who have not yet finished High School are working towards that goal.

I can focus on the fact that half of my kids are overweight and should eat better, or I can focus on the fact that everyone is alive, fairly healthy, and able to be active.

I can focus on my own health and how it stinks to suddenly be taking multiple pills every day and what a pain it is having to go to the doctor every week to try and keep my blood thickness levels on target, or I can focus on the fact that I survived a very dangerous health scare six months ago, that my prognosis is good, and that i'm feeling better every day.

I can focus on the fact that my daughter has chosen a very hard life for herself in having a child at 17, or I can focus on how much fun I had watching Gabby interact with Gizmo our dog last night and seeing it make Salinda smile.

I can focus on the unwise choice John made in getting a girl pregnant within weeks of knowing her, or I can focus on how much we love her and how excited we are that their baby is growing, healthy, and coming in a month.

I can focus on the fact that many of my friends whose blogs I read live so far away and how much I would love it if they lived closer to me, or I can focus on and great it is that they post every day and that they are only a free cell phone call or an email away.

I can focus on the horrible faults of the Child Welfare system, or I can focus on the one-life-at-a-time impact I have had as I have seen one child after another find a permanent loving home with parents who have claimed them.

The list of ways I can shift my focus is endless. But your'e getting the picture.

So just for today I'm going to start focusing on what is AND rejoicing and being grateful for it. The what ifs, the might have beens, the woulds, shoulds, coulds, are all debilitating to say the least.

There are a million and one blessings for me to count today. So I think I'll lay the rest of the junk aside and just focus on them.

Do you have a need to reshift your focus? Want to share?

19 comments:

Lee said...

I'm focussing on sending birthday wishes and virtual balloons to one of my fave bloggers! Happy Birthday!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday to one AMAZING, INCREDIBLE person!!!!!

Little Wonder said...

I'm focusing on having a healthy, happy baby girl for almost a whole hear instead of one that is currently a crabby-pants because she's cutting molars!

Happy Birthday, Claudia! May God bestow his richest blessings upon you in this year and the years to come! :)

nancy said...

Birthday??? Mine was yesterday. Have a great one!

For the first time in 8yrs, hubby and I are able to attend adult Sunday school, since we've been teaching 5th/6th SS for those years. Yeah! Wait for it....this has to do with focus. We're studying I Corninthians and talked about how Paul starts his letter by focusing on who the Corinthians were in Christ.... rather than on who they had become, in the worldliness of Corinth. We decided we need to approach our kids more in that way. Not always easy, when they've just done something bone-headed. Of course, like you, we know these wonderful parenting strategies...but here we don't always manage to live it.

Good reminder from you this morning, Friend.

Thanks.
Nancy in Iowa

Other Mother said...

My whole being changed when I changed the focus from what our daughter was doing/not doing, to who she is, especially considering where she came from. We have a positive texting/telephone relationship, and I'm thankful for that. This has helped me in other areas of my life - much less stressful to let things go, and let God . . . . (I once had a little plaque that said "God hath not made you the master of the universe." Good thought -- it's not all about me.)

Happy birthday!

-K

dorothy said...

My focus in this moment is on my coffee and on YOUR BIRTHDAY! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. Then I will remember to go find the key to the meds drawer and start my day one cup of coffee down and one smile sent.

Johannah said...

Happy birthday! Have a wonderful day and a wonderful year!

Ellen said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ...And Thank You for your post- I needed that!

patti said...

Happy Birthday!

GB's Mom said...

Happy Birthday. Great post- This IS the day the Lord has made and I will be grateful and rejoice in it. I have been tired from dealing with the inevitable meltdowns that come from adding an attachment issue kid to the family. But when I stopped and looked (Thank You), I realized we have already made some progress. Happy Birthday to an inspiration, you!

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday to you ...

Although she married yesterday, out of state, without her momma (boo hoo), I am focusing on the fact my daughter graduated high school, is employable, does not do drugs, is not pregnant and is happy. All good things, even though it was not the way I would have done it!

Marge said...

Happy birthday, dear Claudia, happy birthday to you!

Yes, Wilson is cute, but have you seen my 15 grandkids?

Maia said...

Thanks for the reminder to focus on the positives. We all need that reminder. And Happy Birthday! I hope your day is incredible and you go to sleep content.
-Maia

P.S. Other Mother, what a great reminder quote!

AnnMarie said...

Happy birthday!

Suzy said...

Happy Birthday. And what a positive way to start the day. I need to re-focus my energy on just about every aspect of my life: from dogs, chores, work and family. Thanks for the push.

FosterAbba said...

How about we focus on your birthday? As in have a happy one?

Happy Birthday, Claudia.

robyncalgary said...

im focusing on being thankful for what i do have, instead of wishing i could afford things i WANT but dont necessarily need.

and a very happy birthday!!!

kidsaregreat said...

Happy Birthday to a really neat lady!!!!

Angela said...

Happy Birthday
love your blog (and Carrie's!)