Wednesday, August 10, 2011

HURRY UP Frontal Lobes!

I really need to remember that the frontal lobe of the brain does not fully develop until age 25. When we were in Denver we attended a seminar and the presenter asked, "How many of you have a kid between the ages of 15 and 17? She was pointing out what a difficult age that is. And we have FIVE that age. AAAAAAH.

I cannot understand why they do what they do. Four of the six kids we have under 18 are our "easy" kids, but I just don't get it. They make such dumb choices and the reasons they come up for for why they do things are so ... well, for lack of a better word .. STUPID that it makes me shudder to hear them.

I'm not talking about brains that are clouded with FASD or mental illness. Just teenage brains. And teenage girl brains... somehow even more foggy than the boys.

ANd yet I keep trying to reason with them, to figure it out, to modify their thinking and my head is so sore from beating it against brick ALL DAY LONG.

Is there another option other than just waiting until they grow up? Is there a way to push them towards faster frontal lobe development? If so, I need to do it!!!!


Kathleen said...

I hear ya! Mi bio, firstborn, responsible, compassionate, wonderful daughter was a ditz for a couple of years (more like 13-15 with her). To the extent that we were really concerned - wondered if she'd suffered brain damage when we weren't looking! Seriously! She graduated college summa cum laude this year.

My bio son is 17. Bright but underachieving. Yesterday he left home with his brothers to drive and visit grandma for the day. They were headed for town XYZ in MO (we live in MO - about an hour away). Somewhere around the time they crossed the Mississippi River into IL, one or more of them finally realized they'd made a mistake... wrong info into GPS... and apparently no clue where Grandma lives??? After all these years? He's even driven there before (Albeit with a parent in the car.)

Just think of all the stories you'll have in a few years - you'll have material to harrass them with for DECADES. Not to mention stories to tell THEIR kids...

And no, there's nothing to do but wait it out. Sorry.

My last two are 16 and 17.

GB's Mom said...

If there is, you need to share it with the rest of us.

FerJeniB said...

Go Claudia! My 13 year old gives me flack (Eye roll sigh "I know Mom) for "reminding" him to make good choices when he goes to hang with his friends. He and his friends are all good smart kids, but put them in a group and the common sense IQ drops 10 points for each kid in the group. Ha Ha

gisselle said...

I've been reading your blog since December. It's one of the reasons that I decided to have two teenage brothers placed in my home. I thought I had taken things very slowly. We were matched in December and they moved in with us in June. I am not adjusting at all, neither is my husband or the boys. I'm so unhappy, maybe depressed is more like it. I just feel in my heart that this isn't right. They were in a good foster home, I took them out and they are now living with a very shut down and depressed "mom". I can't even get myself to interact with them. I just don't feel it, I want it all to disappear! :( I don't know how you've done it, I don't think I can.

Claudia said...

Gisselle.... you need to email me at maeflye at mac dot com. Maybe I can help.