Whining

I’m an extrovert so when I am alone for several hours without being able to process verbally I start to drive myself crazy. My thoughts spin around in my head with nowhere to go and I get tired of myself really fast.

The last two mornings have been ridiculous. Little dumb things … For example, I dropped my phone six times when i was getting ready to leave the house on Monday morning. Yes, six. I counted because it was so annoying. I was trying to pack and couldn’t find stuff. One of the items I dropped my phone I reached down to pick it up and pulled something in my back, causing me pain all day. I got the lace on my shawl caught on the bathroom door hook at the convenience store where I stopped for donuts that actually didn’t have donuts…. WHAT?? I thought this was Krispy Kreme territory….

Then yesterday morning, I stepped on a tiny piece of glass that Dominyk didn’t sweep up when he broke my blender the last time we were in Brookneal, and I couldn’t find a couple things I needed, and my back was still hurting, and and and and… see? I was just pathetic. My never ending internal loop of whining was driving me crazy.

In addition to all of the petty junk was the heavy stuff that has been weighing on me for weeks interweaving itself with the broken record of internal whining. You have only had to read a couple paragraphs of it… but in my head it was going on forever.... and I was going crazy!

When I finally got out to the van to drive to Lynchburg, I knew that there was only answer to the whiny loop — Christian music. So I turned it on and the first song that I heard started with:

This is what we’re here for.

And I immediately knew that the song was not going to say.

So I want to share with you some answers to the question "What am I NOT here for?"

1) I am not here to control the world, fix things, or make sure that everyone is OK everywhere. That’s God’s job. (OK, OK, I know that this is a constant theme for me).

2) I am not here to focus on the distractions. Another theme for me, but there are so many ways that our focus can be diverted to other things that really aren’t the center of what we are called to do.

3) I am not here to whine!!

4) I am not here to be ruled by discouragement, doubt, or anxiety. I am victorious in Christ.

5) I am not here to worry about the future or dwell on the past.

And as the song went on I was reminded of why I am here… and suddenly the whine loop was replaced by these words that stuck in my head all day. A much better alternative!

This is what we're here for.
To show the world how You love it.
This is what we're made for.
To lay it all down like You did.
When we feel useless, You still use us.
Help us not forget.
This is what we're here for.
This is what we're here for.

Listen to it with me. I think you’ll like it.