tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post697752156373779294..comments2023-12-10T07:27:17.914-05:00Comments on Never a Dull Moment: The Voice of TruthClaudiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02057662343562530495noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-11826623677322738642009-12-29T00:27:16.311-06:002009-12-29T00:27:16.311-06:00With my teens I've started trying to avoid bei...With my teens I've started trying to avoid being the one to tell them "bad news." I try to talk to non-family members, like case managers or doctors, behind the scenes and tell them they need to spell it out for my kids. I'm tired of being the bad guy. With my RAD kids I'm the bad guy most of the time anyway, so I let someone else that they're more likely to listen to anyway, take the flak whenever possible.<br /><br />Mary in TXmarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-4360764912516126162009-12-28T21:22:04.885-06:002009-12-28T21:22:04.885-06:00I have learned that I just need to shut up and let...I have learned that I just need to shut up and let life happen for (to) them. A year ago I shot down all the great schemes my almost 19 yo was coming up with about moving out, going back to school 2 hrs. away - blah, blah, blah. Well, she went anyway and every single thing has happened exactly the way I warned her it would because she did not do things the right way - she did them the easy way. It does no good, she was determined to go anyway and now I only feel relief that she comes to visit occasionally, but that I don't have to live with the daily drama. She's the one making her life so very, very hard - not me. Now, shutting up does not come easy to me, it's REALLY hard so there are times I need to just walk away (physically) or make up a reason to get off the phone so I can cool off/calm down before they catch on that I have SO....much to say to them. It is very, very hard (I think I already mentioned that) but I have to do it to save my sanity and try to maintain some sort of relationship with a few of them. Unfortunately, one of my darlings takes this silence for agreement and it's only when I hear her blabbing to another sibling how I am supporting this decision or that one that I must speak up and say that I never said any such thing - surprises the heck out of her because she assumes I am going along with her when she makes dumb choices and I don't correct her (no one else makes that assumption. The reality of it is that I can teach/lecture/talk to this kid until the cows come home and she will ALWAYS do exactly what she wants - sometimes it just takes me a little longer to figure out she's done it.<br /><br />I really wish Mom's did have this kind of power over their kids - life would be alot less stressful for all of us. Face it, they don't want to hear the truth - their brains won't let them believe what you're saying, they just get all ticked off that you're not fixing everything for them after they've made their own mistakes (you know, the ones you are not allowed to protect them from making but are required to help them dig out of). It just puts you into the spirit of the holiday season doesn't it? lolLisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14612523674452864077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-64563863932785189292009-12-28T20:21:14.692-06:002009-12-28T20:21:14.692-06:00Another truth that must be hard for a teen almost-...Another truth that must be hard for a teen almost-mom to hear is that when it comes to pain and inconvenience, if your child's well-being is involved, the child's needs will be considered as strongly (if not more so as an infant is more fragile) as the teen's, unless the mom's health is in serious jeopardy. If it were "only you" all measures possible to alleviate your pain will have been attempted. And your own mom won't be able to change that, most likely.<br /><br />This must be very hard for someone so young to accept and my heart goes out to her.Spinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17049608824259500585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11190188.post-45117487131021586242009-12-28T11:52:03.481-06:002009-12-28T11:52:03.481-06:00Bummer that they can't learn to be responsible...Bummer that they can't learn to be responsible. The mess they're in now is completely of their own making. <br />I suppose if you pointed that out to them you'd be accused of being mean.Miz Kizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05650747741395559803noreply@blogger.com