Friday, August 04, 2006

A Brief Respite

For some reason I was not provoked during supper or after supper by John. After supper and dishes I took Tony and Dominyk and we picked up Ben and took him to the park. But the second I got back in, John was asking to borrow money. Since he owes me 4 already, didn’t do his chore today, and is in debt $300 to Kyle, I told him no. Telling him no doesn’t go well.

But tonight I’m practicing self control -- which is how I sang my way through the dishes while Tony was crying, screaming, and saying every annoying thing he could think of. Since he is a very short soon to be sixth grader who already weighs over 130 pounds, I try to explain to him that calling other people chubby really isn’t wise, but he was fixated on my weight tonight. I just sang “step by step” over and over again, washing and rinsing pots and pans, singing, washing, rinsing.

And now I am not responding in anger to John. Just factual answers with little emotion. He has called me “Claudia” so many times tonight, trying to push my buttons, but I’m trying to ignore all of it.

But now Dominyk’s having a meltdown, so I’m off to take care of him...


1 comment:

robyncalgary said...

if i was your friend in real life i would get angry with you everytime you say youre not a good mom or when you say youre not doing things how you should. i think youre downright amazing. just READING the things you go through with some of your kids make my temperature rise, i know its normal them to test and test and push and push but i can imagine its so frustrating that it seems to be all saved for you. and to read that you kept your temper and just sang your way through it doing dishes? seriously, i have so much respect and admiration for you <3 much love