I Cease to Exist

In parenting teens, I wish I could remember not to let them get to me, because when I am out of their presence, I cease to exist.

In the morning, it is more than likely, every single day that at least four or five children are going to have something go wrong that isn’t the way they want things to be. And of course, since I am the mom, and Dad is already at work in the morning, whatever goes wrong is my fault.

And so, I get chewed out, or chewed up, and usually end up spending the ride home wondering what I could have done differently to give them a nice send off. I almost always say things like, “I love you. I hope you have a good day. Make good choices.” or something similar and, nine times out of ten I get a growl, a glare, or a groan. (I’m kind of into alliteration today). And I leave for the ride home feeling either stressed or distressed because of the negative interchange and I bring it home and stew on it until I realize that

I NO LONGER EXIST.

When they walked into their respective school buildings, they dive into the drama filled world of school. They see their friends and do not give me another thought all day long.

My day, on top of working as much as I can, is filled with scheduling THEIR appointments, remembering to get what THEY need from the store, talk with THEIR teachers, psychiatrists, etc. so I can’t stop thinking about them.

Maybe I should set aside some hours when they don’t exist. It would only be fair, right?