I was texting her to see where she was as Bart reported that he assumed that she was with the familiy she spent the night with on Thursday night, but she didn’t ask if she could stay another night. She is ... and is 2 hours away at a softball tournament. Her excuse? She texted her dad, but maybe it didn’t go through. Of course, picking up the phone to make sure it went through isn’t a possibility apparently.
She has been wanting to get paid to mow the lawn and does a good job, but it’s been too wet this week. Now that it is dry enough she is not home and it’s very long. But she will expect us to wait to hire her instead of one of her other siblings even if it means waiting another day because she has these plans, not approved by us.
So I text her and remind her that as a consequence for missing church the weekend she left for three days without permission, she has no Saturday night sleepovers, and of course, she argues with everything. She is furious that she is being told no, has been rude to me, and refuses to pick up the phone she’s texting me from. Even though Bart has pretty much agreed to everything she said, she is now being told no and she can’t accept it. I would think that most parents, after someone had been at a friend’s house for three nights, would be saying it was time to come home, even if there were no consequences.
So by the time the conversation is over I’m super stressed out. She has pushed all my buttons (in addiiton to all the buttons on the cell phone, multiple times to text me) and I’m worn out, and now I have to navigate airports and rental car places, etc, all day.
Now, I have an honest question. Does all of this junk drive you all nuts too? Or am I the only one who has a teenage daughter that does this? Do you get tortured for parenting? Does it get to you or are you able to just let it all roll off your back?
Because so far I can’t do that.
5 comments:
Oh yeah. This is teenage girl. Some of it can and does roll off my back, but a lot of it doesn't. Weird, complex, annoying creatures, aren't they?
Boys are capable of this behavior.
Before David came to me he had a long history of being called in as a runaway because he wouldn't come home when he should. Police would show up at the friend's, explain to the parent(s) that if they didn't send him home they would be charged with harboring a runaway.
For the first 18 month with me he didn't do this. Then he turned 18 and it started again. It made me CRAZY.
I swear to all that is holy, it is less stressful living with a recovering codeine addict.
I've done both. I'm serious.
You aren't alone...BTDT. I am sooo glad my RAD anguish days are over.
I joke that I am parenting my third teenage daughter and should be "numb" by now. But I'm not, and sometimes I wish I was -- especially when the cruel words are flying my way. There is no perfect teenager, but sadly, what you are experiencing seems to be some "normal" behaviors for their age. Not always acceptable, and certainly not enjoyable, but fairly typical. Doesn't make it any easier, but hang in there! Just try to keep her manipulation at a minimum, even if it is tempting to give in just to end the "battle". Someday she will be thankful you had rules and cared about where she was/who she was with/what she was doing. Too many parents don't. Yeah, it's tiring -- downright exhausting -- but for their sake we must continue. My 24 year old daughter thanked me a couple of years ago for "always being there" for her. It was amazing. And I don't even want to begin to think about, much less talk about, what struggles we had in her years of early adolescence.
Remember those 20 girls I have?? SEVERAL of the current girls between 15-18 fit this bill nearly exactly! They could be Salinda's long lost multiples? Maybe God split them up so we wouldn't have to murder them all?? Just a thought....
Good luck, Claudia! The only suggestion I have is to take regular time to disengage from the garbage. It will make you a better - and more sane - parent. Or so I've been told. :-)
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