I thought maybe we could share coping techniques for people who have big/older children who have meltdowns. My technique with my 16 year old is attempt to talk him down and negotiate something, providing some warnings and threat of consequences, but once he gets going, I simply have to stay out of the way. He throws things and wails and cries like a toddler and he is 6'2.
I can't de-escalate him, at least haven't been able to.
Anyone else have kids bigger than them that cannot be restrained that you've found a way to contain when they are having a tantrum?
(by the way, I'm totally psyched. I took the picture above in a very dark room using the backlight feature of my new camera, and I'm very excited that it turned out so well).
I have two methods that sometimes work. One is to quiet tell someone that when they are calm they can find me in the kitchen/backyard/etc. I may say, sympathetically that I can see they need some calming down time.
ReplyDeleteMy other method is to provide nearly silent witness, listening and saying not much more than "I understand." I just sort of wait for them to run out of gas.
When they are calm sometimes we talk about how they might have handled the situation better. I try not to lecture but let them give the decisions. I tend not to punish, although I will ask if there is something I can do to help them make the better choice next time.
But I don't live with violent ragers. I just don't live with or ask my other kids to live with someone who might be a physical threat to them. I admire people who are able to do that and keep everyone safe, but I'm just not there.
Maybe this is sort of the same thing, but outside of a physical threat, why do yu have to do *anything* besides just being there?
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