When I look back at the past few years, my life could be compared to a remodel project -- kind of like the Home Extreme Makeover. I needed to be gutted out before I could be rebuilt.
When I look back at how things were over the past several years -- basically since the summer MIke and John were taken into county custody, I see so many rough things we had to go through. Rebellion, mistreatment by the system, court involvement, and other things were so very hard to live through.
While going through them wasn't easy -- and I am still going through some of them, I have realized that sometimes God has to tear us down in order to remodel. There were things in me that needed to be taken out in order for there to be room for the growth that He planned for me.
My harsh determination to control and change my world, and thus, my children, had to be eradicated before there would be room for me to enjoy them. My drivenness had to be reconstructed in order for me to stop and enjoy the good times. My strong grip on the future of my kids and my desire for the life they would live had to be rearranged in order for them to have the freedom to succeed and change on their own.
What is it in your life that must be torn down in order for you to be remodeled? Have your children been part of that journey for you?
that was just incredible insight, claudia. just beautiful to read.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great question. I was so literal when you first hinted at it, what with my linear thinking and all. I am in the process of a remodel right now! Before I had kids I was all about learning forever and getting degrees and promotions and being the best dang workerbee in the world. Now? I can take or leave work. I just need it for the health insurance and my priorities have shifted to working wherever I can have the utmost flexibility so I can be there for the kids. I want to be at every appointment, every event, every detention pickup, all of it. Starting next week, I will. Love this post.
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