Last night I went to see Salinda but I didn't even bother to get everyone all excited because I figured it would be a no news situation. She still had not received her birthday or Christmas gifts and I could tell she was missing me. Very seldom in the last few years has she acted as though she needed me, so I headed up.
There is always a very difficult decision to make for every parent every day when it comes to teens and adults, especially those who are adopted and have special needs. And the decision is this: Do we give them what they deserve or do we offer grace? Salinda at this point has chosen her lot. She has moved in with another family, chosen to be independent from us, to have the baby up there... but then she misses me and needs me. What do I do? Bart and I talked about the balance between justice and mercy.
And as we talked we realized most of our kids they are always the recipients of grace. They get themselves into tough situations and then they don't want to accept the consequences. They want to be bailed out. It happens daily, weekly, monthly in big and small ways with our kids. And we have to decide.
I often find 1 Corinthians 4 useful in situations like this. I am so often the object of grace myself that it befits me to be as gracious as I can be. Obviously you have to decide in the context of your other considerations (personal means, pedagogical objectives). But we are all the recipients of grace every day that we live.
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