Warning: Very Whiny

I have so many things to whine about tonight. It has been a very long day. It is impossible for things to be about me here. The kids held it together until i got home but not any longer. Dominyk was obsessing for hours this afternoon, Tony tormented me until I cried and then laughed at me for crying, Rand has not stepped up to the plate all all this week -- in fact he has acted more immature and less helpful than usual.

I am sure this isn't easy for them... but every once and a while I would like it to be about me. for those of you who have dealt with health issues while parenting our kind of kids, my at goes off to you. It is more difficult than I ever imagined.

Last night and today I have felt worse than I have so far. My cough and breathing issues combined with alternating chills and sweating have made sleep difficult. Tonight's supper involved me coughing until I puked on my plate which was followed by two more episodes of vomiting, one coinciding with incontinence. I'll spare you the details....

Bart has been absolutely amazing. Taking care of me and everyone else as well as matters at the church have him exhausted. I'm trying to take it easy, but I really don't have much of a choice. He helped me showr this morning and that alone seemed like a huge undertaking. I was exhausted afterwards. I haven't been able to eat much today so I'm a bit week.

But you know what? It's all going to pass. I'm going to recover and I'm here. I have learned so much over the past week about who and what is important. I have been in awe of the love and support of my family and friends, especially Kari, Sue and Bart. I am truly blessed and am determined to do a better job of living my life in the future.

I taped myself breathing today just so you could hear it. Bart says I sound like a dying cat. For some reason it won't upload. Maybe tomorrow i'll fix it.