Well, it looks like the county is recommending that Mike come home. Two weeks from now, he will be back here, for better or for worse. He’ll be 18 in March, so we’re entering a new arena.
I talked to him at length today and told him that he needed to realize that his Dad and I were the ones he could trust and that we would help him reach his goals if he could listen to us. Because he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, his impulse control and decision making skills are lacking. Unfortunately, for him, his Reactive Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder keep him from being able to trust us or listen to us when we attempt to lead him in the right direction.
I find myself excited that he is coming home, because regardless of what we’ve been through, we love him a lot. But I’m anxious that we will head down a path that is all too familiar. We are committed to doing things a bit different this time, in hopes to get different results, but I am still nervous. Learned behavior on my part I guess.
But this time I explained to him that it isn’t just “if he can live in a family setting” or not that he is risking. It’s his high school diploma, some of his college coursework paid for, his driver’s license, his whole future. I reminded him that if his social life continued to be his priority that he would quickly lose focus once again and head down the wrong path.
He seemed willing enough to listen at this point. Bart and I are committed to doing our part, but as we learned with John, we can get things lined up for a teenager and do everything in our power, but we can’t control their actions.
Mike is super talented and has a lot of abilities. He is a great artist, he has incredible athletic ability, he has a quick wit, and can be very charming. it is quite easy to see him moving towards success.
So, we will start now preparing the family for his arrival and maybe if the kids can be strong and work together to keep him on the right track, instead of blindly and willingly following him down the wrong one, we can help this boy almost man reach his dreams.
I talked to him at length today and told him that he needed to realize that his Dad and I were the ones he could trust and that we would help him reach his goals if he could listen to us. Because he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, his impulse control and decision making skills are lacking. Unfortunately, for him, his Reactive Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder keep him from being able to trust us or listen to us when we attempt to lead him in the right direction.
I find myself excited that he is coming home, because regardless of what we’ve been through, we love him a lot. But I’m anxious that we will head down a path that is all too familiar. We are committed to doing things a bit different this time, in hopes to get different results, but I am still nervous. Learned behavior on my part I guess.
But this time I explained to him that it isn’t just “if he can live in a family setting” or not that he is risking. It’s his high school diploma, some of his college coursework paid for, his driver’s license, his whole future. I reminded him that if his social life continued to be his priority that he would quickly lose focus once again and head down the wrong path.
He seemed willing enough to listen at this point. Bart and I are committed to doing our part, but as we learned with John, we can get things lined up for a teenager and do everything in our power, but we can’t control their actions.
Mike is super talented and has a lot of abilities. He is a great artist, he has incredible athletic ability, he has a quick wit, and can be very charming. it is quite easy to see him moving towards success.
So, we will start now preparing the family for his arrival and maybe if the kids can be strong and work together to keep him on the right track, instead of blindly and willingly following him down the wrong one, we can help this boy almost man reach his dreams.
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