Do you want things to change?

I took this unflattering picture of myself today to compare myself with several years ago. People are starting to say that they can tell I'm losing weight and I wanted to see if I could. I could.

And it's all based on the principle of empowerment and success building on success. This is something I supposed to be true but I never tested it much. Now I am practicing these things and they are becoming true for me. And that makes them REALLY true.

I historically have been a pretty positive person, but there were just certain things that were unreachable, undoable, impossible to me and so I chose not to try. They were out of the question.

One of them was exercise and weight loss. I had so many reasons why that was impossible. I have a bad back. I don’t have time. I have 12 children and two jobs. I need to be home. I hate exercise. I love food. I can’t lose weight. I’ve tried a hundred times. I always gain it back. I will lose some but then I will quit so why bother. And the list goes on and on.

And then someone said, Yes, you can do it. And you need to. And so I started. I started step by step doing one thing at a time and I kept building on it. And pretty soon I was losing some weight. And then I felt GOOD about that. I felt like I was able to control some things. And so I started doing more things. And then I felt even better. And then I added something else. And all the sudden I was addicted to the success of controlling this area of my life. And I was replacing very bad habits with good ones. And now I am 49 pounds less than I was two years ago and 29 pounds less than I was 3 months ago. And if that doesn’t feel incredible.

So then I started getting addicted to the idea of being able to control my life. Having lived through several years where I felt like my life was out of control -- even out of my ability to control -- I realized that I was focusing on the wrong thing. i was focusing on trying to change everyone but myself and it simply was not working. And so now I am starting to apply the things I am learning from my weight loss to other things.

For example, if you would have asked me a few months ago if I could sit in the kitchen on summer days surrounded by my children and meet their needs as well as get my jobs done I would have thought you were insane. I have spent many summers parenting from my office in a corner of the house trying frantically to accomplish as much as I could between interruptions, often being cranky and irritable.

But this summer, I decided I COULD do it. I can sit here and get work done, I can be patient with the kids, I can have positive interractions with them, I can do what needs to be done. And so far, it is working. And I am loving feeling like I am in control of my response. Every time I can be patient during a time when I usually am not, I am in control of me. Every time I can quickly forgive when I want to stay angry, I am in control of me. . Every time I can respond quietly when my natural tendency is to yell, I am in control of me. Every time when I ... well, you get the idea.

So do you want things to change? Change you. It’s simple. And once you taste success in any of these areas you will get addicted to it. And the interesting thing is that other people will start to get interested in why you’re so flippin’ happy all the time. In fact, last night when we were having dinner, Bart was getting bored with my talking about my success, but I couldn’t help myself. And I like to think that maybe it was fun and contagious. Maybe it was just annoying. But I was feeling so good that I didn’t care.

Anybody who wants to share the things they are working to change is welcome to comment. Accountability has been a huge thing for me too -- with people to cheer me on I feel able to do almost anything. And of course, there is that thing that I’ve always known, but haven’t always really believed -- that with God, ALL things are possible.

Sorry for the long post. But if any of you are caught in the spot I was a few months ago you know that my life has been changed and it’s hard for me not to want to share it with you and hope that yours can change as well. You CAN do it. YOU can change YOU.