The Story of One of My Sons (Shared with Permission)

An adorable toddler with blonde hair and blue eyes walked into our lives on October 7, 1996. He turned 23 a couple of weeks ago. He was the first child to be parented by Bart and I, and the first child that changed my title to Mom. 

He came as a foster child and we were told we might be able to adopt him some day. We met his birth-mom and couldn’t help but have compassion for her. She was spunky … raised in foster care herself — but she had all kinds of things to work through. Her list that she needed to complete to get him back was long and hard. She had to visit him — fifteen miles away — and didn’t have reliable transportation. Finding housing was tough. She was battling generations of poverty. She finally gave up and moved out of state.

While he was in foster care with us, I would rock him to sleep and sing him this song that I wrote for him.

Lullaby and goodnight.
have sweet dreams precious tony
oh we love you and we are thankful
that you’re living here with us. 

Close your eyes, little boy,
go to sleep stop your weeping,
Jesus loves you little boy
and he’ll watch you while you’re sleeping.

And I would cry. I would sing “You are my sunshine” and sob at the end as I sang “please don’t take my sunshine away.” And yet, I knew that our role was supposed to be temporary.   (The picture of him below is when he was about three -- while we were still fostering both of these little guys.  This is one of my favorite pictures.   Weren't they the CUTEST EVER?

It turned out that we were allowed to adopt this little boy and raised him and loved him (and still do) through some pretty tough times. It wasn’t easy to watch him struggle with his identity. He sobbed in the counselor’s office in 8th grade trying to decide who he should research as his “ancestors.” He dreamed of what his birth family might be like. He was always trying to figure out where he fit in. He reunited with some of his birth dads family a few years ago and is living with some of his cousins now. 

For my sake, I’m so grateful that I had the privilege of being this kid’s mom. But for his sake, I wonder what life would have been like if his first mom could have had the support of a place called Homes of Hope, a program we are raising money for with this fundraiser. In the home, women who have infants and toddlers in foster care can move in until they are stable enough to get their kids back. Then they can live with them in the home until they are ready to make it on their own. 

I don’t know if his life would have been better or worse, but I do know that he would not have grown up wondering who he was. That struggle would have been removed and he could have focused on other things.

Tonight in Lynchburg four moms are living with their kids who are no longer in foster care. They are getting support and people are loving them and helping them to make good choices. It’s my hope that those families will remain in tact and those babies will not have to experience what our son did.

if you would like to support this program, we welcome your donations. My son Tony asked specifically that I go ahead and tag him in this post, because he has the most tender heart and wants people to hear his story. 

And now my little boy who toddled into my life at age 20 months is now a semi-pro beast of a lineman who wants his story told.   

And this is his favorite picture of himself, that he wanted me to share with you.  I know he would encourage you to donate to the fundraiser.... and would thank those of you who already have.  

You can do so here.