Christmas Still Came

It didn't feel much like Christmas this year.   We have had one emotionally exhausting thing after another hit us this year.   First, as you know, was the saga of Bart's foot, which is about over -- but his foot will never be the same.  He will probably always walk with a slight limp and will never be able to walk long distances without pain. His foot is deformed, looks pretty bad, actually, and won't fit into a regular shoe.  This is a huge loss for someone who walked for pleasure and who does many things that require standing on his feet.

Then came September when our our youngest son did something unthinkable -- a stupid mistake by a dumb kid but the ripples of his choice were unbelievable.  Relationships were destroyed, trust was violated, rumors were started, people were panicking, and it just kept getting worse.   It's still not over as he is in jail waiting for trial.

Then we had some deaths at church and one of our favorite people whose husband died suddenly over a year ago went to be with Jesus last night.  Bart has never said this to me before, but one night a couple years ago after we had dinner with them he said, "I hope I don't have to bury either of these people."  They were our friends and it turns out he will bury both of them.

Our church organist found another job and he and his family are moving to Oklahoma.   We will miss them in so many ways.

Every day it seems like more stuff heads our way.  Loss upon loss upon loss.  Not easy stuff either.   Some of the toughest we've ever dealt with.

We only have two children with us (plus a couple grandkids and a fiancé) so we there were only 7 of us at the dinner table this Christmas compared to years when we have had 27.

We have been depressed and emotionally exhausted for months.  We have our good times, but for the most part the norm is low key anxiety and sadness as we await a hearing and news of changes to our family.   We just keep going, one step at a time.

Last night as we were sitting in our beautiful church building the music was still powerful.  The story was still profound and seeing my grandchildren, eyes brightly shining as we sang Silent Night holding candles, brought tears to my eyes.   But in the midst of all this, I suddenly realized that Christmas had still come.

And it also struck me that Jesus came into a situation that was far from ideal.  His parents didn't plan to for him to be born in a barn with smelly animals around them...... they had been told he was the Messiah after all.  But even though they were in a smelly stable, Christmas still came.... Jesus, still came.

Christmas still comes.... no matter what.... and the story remains beautiful, powerful, life-changing.

And it always will.