I’m obviously not going to link this to Facebook and for those kids of mine who happen upon this maybe it will change their behavior. Not hopeful but I suppose it’s a possibility.
If you are living with adult kids I hope that your life is different than mine and that you don’t have these things to worry about, but for a while I have thought that there are probably less than ten things that really annoy me. So maybe I won’t even get to ten.
And yes, before I start, we know that we allow them to live here. Most of them probably wouldn’t make it somewhere else. And believe me we talk about kicking them out often, but nobody is going over the edge. In fact, there are some REALLY good things about having them here. Some are very helpful. Most are paying some kind of rent. And having the grandkids isn’t he basement is a bonus on every level. But if they would stop doing these things that bug me life would be so much better.
1). The smell of smoke. Yes, more than one kind, but particularly one kind. Nobody is disrespectful and smoking in the house (that would send me over the edge). But even smelling it outside bugs me. And please don’t tell me that we can simply say “we don’t allow it” because that goes back to the paragraph above where we would have to kick them out.
2). Borrowing stuff and not returning it. It’s so annoying to have to track down things that belong to us because someone needed to borrow it. Along with this is moving things and not putting them back where they belong.
3). Taking stuff that doesn’t belong to them. Really annoying.
4). Eating food that we have purchased without asking when it is something we were planning to use for other things. Particularly when it’s Keto or low carb and nobody else is on a diet!
5). Making me the hub of all things negative. If anyone in this house is mad at anyone else they tell me about it.
6). Texts intended to start an argument, particularly when we are both in the house. If it isn’t important enough to walk a flight of stairs to tell me about it, it may not be worth texting. The mental games that are played through these texts just drive me crazy.
7). Expecting me to know everything without telling me anything. Nobody tells me their work schedule, but they all expect me to know where everyone is.
8). Leaving stuff everywhere. This may go up higher on the list — these are not in order. But I don’t want to step over your dirty socks in my dining room — or see your clothes still on the bathroom floor and on and on and on. I wont’ go into your room if you keep your door closed — but please keep all your stuff in your room. Is that really that hard?
I guess that’s really it. Just 8 things. If I could get those things to change, I would have no complaints.
Before I close I must remind myself that all but one of them is working. Nobody is breaking the law (that we know of) and substance abuse isn’t occurring on a massive level. Nobody is violent or aggressive and I only get sworn at a few times a week. Things have been way worse.
As I told one of my sons recently: When you were 8 you played these lying, manipulative games with me and I was 35. It was tiring. When you did the same thing at 18 I was 45 and it was exhausting. Now you’re 30 and trying the same thing and I”m 57 and I just can’t do it any more.
An empty nest would probably be boring, and on most days we love having people here. Family dinners a few times a week are typically enjoyable. Just eight things to stop doing and life would be so much better.
Anybody else relate?
1 comment:
I am an adult child, living with my father who has vascular dementia. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 8 are also frustrations in my relationship with him. Can definitely relate!
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