Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Still No News

Yesterday was an emotionally heavy day -- several situations that I can't blog about that don't pertain to my family -- after a horrible morning of defiance from Tony and a huge fight between He and Dominyk.... followed by calls from school because a child called a teacher the B word but of course it's the teachers fault because "I don't like her." AAAUGH.

I went to bed completely exhausted and then didn't sleep well.... I'm glad that yesterday is over.

We still haven't heard anything about the possible addition to our family so I had to email this morning whether that was appropriate or not. I had forgotten how frustrating this situation is and I realized why last night.... we haven't had to wait for a decision since 1999. Since then the kids have been matched with us without any competition or question.... and sometimes before we even had an update started. So waiting to find out if we "win the lottery" is something we have only had to do a couple times in our lives. If you will recall from our book, our first two were foster care placements and the next two (a sibling group) we were matched with 3 hours after our homestudy was completed. So... I'm not used to this!

Anybody else in this stage with me right now?

7 comments: said...

Just to let you know you are not alone, we are waiting too and it is hard

FerJeniB said...

C - Not quite the same boat but close. We got a call about a potential foster placement last week and are still waiting for a final decision...meanwhile the kid is in Shelter. It feels strange to have the SW not doing the hard sell. They were surprised when we called them back within an hour of the call with a "Yes" and "when is he coming?". Now I am starting to question if they know something we don't...hmmmm - J

nancy said...

Uh, you know not...
First of all, we are through adding kids.

Second, our shortest wait? 14months. Unbeknownst to us with newborn M, we'd been chosen and didn't find out until we were asked if we could come get her out of the hospital. Ends up, we waited over the wknd, as they did find fostercare for her until birth father's rights were terminated. But to that point, we'd been waiting 14months from paperwork started.

And the last three we asked the same person you did if we could adopt them. The previous one she gave us his referral.

But I do remember those months/years of waiting. People asked how we could wait that long. The alternative was...what?

Sorry for the tension of the unknown, but with you, we pray for God's best for the child and for your family. That's how we ended up with our five adopted...though God closed other doors along the way. I thought for sure God was going to bring one young girl to us from Guat...but then I found out she had two siblings. I could never have done siblings, as God knew. The best part is knowing that God won't make a mistake where He places this child/teenager.

Nancy in your neighboring state

Angela :-) said...

No, but I know the feeling. I'm loving your transparency, though, how you're having the same thoughts, anxieties, etc. as non-social workers.

Angela :-)

Cody Lee said...

YES. My homestudy is in review for a 12yr old, and today I left my SW a voicemail asking if she had any other kids in the pipeline for me. (I'm licensed to foster as well as adopt.)

QueenB said...

We flew out west and picked up our three children at the end of August. They are very young, and when we inquired on them, we felt we had no chance since they were "very desirable". Wow, we were surprised we were chosen! But, it was no surprise to the Lord! Praying His will for your family. Maybe this is to get you "back in the game" and maybe there is some other child that is waiting to be yours! Blessings

Susan said...

Oh. My. Goodness. I have been dying to call our worker every single day since we inquired about a five-year-old boy during the first week in August. We were initially told that we would not be considered since he would be an easy kid to place and we've adopted three. Then we were told that we might be considered since we have experience and we are willing to continue having contact with his bio-fam. Then we were told that there were several families pursuing him so it would be unlikely for us to be chosen. Then we were told that no decision would be made for several weeks. If he is coming home to us, we need to be moving some rooms around, but why bother if he isn't? All of our other children were foster placements that didn't go home, so we've never had this happen, this waiting and not knowing thing. I tell God all the time that I don't mind where He takes me, if He would just show me the map! So far He's never shown me farther than the road right in front of my feet! I suppose I will just keep praying that God's will be done. I know He knows better than I do what my little boy needs (OK so I'm a little possessive)