Scarcity or Abundance?

I grew up in a home where my parents had a spirit of abundance.    Funny thing is, we were dirt poor but I never knew it.  I mean I knew we weren't rich, but I had no idea how little we really had until I got older.   My mom made all of our clothes or we got them at Value Village (similar to goodwill)  -- the only thing we bought at the "real" store (Kmart) were undergarments (OK, so I admit I am feeling like an elderly person writing this and the word undergarments seemed appropriate).    We never had store bought snacks.... everything was homemade.  (Did you know that you can trade one homemade cookie for six oreos at lunch if you have friends whose don't have parents who bake?)   I know that my parents got "commodities" monthly -- big blocks of not that great cheese are one of the things I remember.  We drove very old vehicles -- I should say one vehicle at a time, we never had two.    We lived in a "Fixer Upper" that, I kid you not, my parents bought for $9,000 in 1973 and fixed up with a inner city development loan from the government.

We knew not to ask for extras because there wasn't money for them.  Because we knew how it worked.  When pay day came, tithe came first.  Then there were the missionaries we were supporting, that was next.   The major bills were paid and whenever that was over, the rest was for food, gas, and once and a while a special treat like a trip to Baskin Robbins or the "Pop Shoppe" where we would buy a case of very cheap pop in bottles that had to be returned.   

Never once in all of that was I ever hungry.  The clothes I head weren't my favorite but I never had to go to school wearing used undergarments.   (I remember lusting after a $6.99 peach velour top at Kmart and begging for it for several weeks until I realized I didn't need it).   Our family vacation was an annual trip to the church convention and we drove, sleeping in the back of the station wagon and camping in tents at KOAs.   We didn't go to restaurants on the way -- we had our government cheese sandwiches in a cooler and those little boxes of cereal which we only had on that trip.   Every labor day, when it was free admission, we went to Elitch Gardens, our local amusement park, and decided how to spend the tickets that my parents could afford that year.

We went out to eat exactly six times a year.   We went out for each of us kids birthdays, mother's day and father's day and we went out to eat on the one day that we went Christmas shopping at the mall... the only day we went to the mall.   We met in the middle and split up so that we could go with one parent or the other to buy for each other.    Our gifts were small but we spent a great deal of time picking out just the right thing.  

The other interesting piece of it all, was that if someone needed something, my parents always found a way to help them.   We had people over for Sunday dinner regularly and there was always a neighbor who needed a ride or needed a loan.   My parents never told them no -- they found a way to help in whatever way they could.  

In the midst of all that, I grew up hearing my mom sing.  She singed while she cleaned (and there was a lot of cleaning to do as she ran a home day care with 6 kids plus the three of us until I was 14). She singed while she cooked and baked.  She sang while she "mended" and sewed.   And it wasn't just that she sang, but what she sang.

"He owns the cattle on a thousand hills..."

"I've got a mansion, just over the hill top..."

"I'm a child of the king..."

Her spirit was always upbeat and positive.   She was always so positive.  I am sure there are days when she and my dad had conversations about how hard it was to figure out how to pay bills, but we never heard them.    If there was a need, they prayed.   And as they prayed, I watched God do miracles.

One day we sat down to supper and my mom said, "we are out of grocery money so we are going to have to be very creative the next several days" and during family devotions we prayed, as always that God would provide.   Literally that evening a friend from church came over and said, "I feel like God was asking me to bring you groceries."

Another time that I remember vividly was when our old station wagon finally died.    My dad announced that it was unrepairable and that we had no money in savings to buy another one.   Again as a family we prayed.   The next morning an acquaintance down the street called and said, "You wouldn't happen to need a vehicle would you?  We have an old one in the back that runs well and we just want to get it off our property.  We would sell it to you for a dollar.".   

My mom and dad had a spirit of abundance, gratitude, faith and a willingness to share.  

I contrast that spirit to the one that I have had lately.  We have had so many financial setbacks in the past year that I can't even name them.  All of our kids are needing our money and it seems that no matter how much we make we can't get ahead.   I have scrambled and pushed and tried everything I can think of to fix some of these problems... but I haven't prayed nearly enough, and our answers have been desperate borrowing of dollars and not trusting in God.

Last night after a particularly frustrating day where everything seemed to culminate, I was reminded of one more song that my mother used to sing.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

I realized that last night I was there.  I had reached the end of my hoarded resources.  I have been living with a scarcity mindset and that limits God.  I’ve been relying on myself, and that means He can’t step in and do the cool stuff.

I don’t know what is going to happen with many of the situations I’ve been trying to fix.  But I do know that I serve a limitless God.  I am a child of the King who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and I’m going to inherit a mansion some day that’s just over the hilltop.   

I regret that I have not been modeling this for my children lately and I need to do a better job.  

I’m not sure why I shared all that today…. maybe it is because you are struggling with the same thing.   Or maybe it was just because I needed to.   If it’s the latter, thanks for listening.  :-)