My flight was fine -- everything went very smooth. I even had a chance to stop on my 4 hour drive at our new house for a nap as I had planned more time than I needed.
John, however, as I always worry he will, has had quite a day. Just today he has managed to:
Tell Salinda that he bought cigarettes;
Take Jimmy into the van and start it (with a key, we believe, he stole from us, but he says he started it with a hanger);
Light play money on fire and throw it in the air, a piece of which landed on Tony and burned him;
Tell people who are "junking" (It's junk days in our town) that they could take Tony's bike, even though we just paid $40.00 to get it fixed;
Move his stereo to the Dining Room and turn it on full blast, refusing to respect Bart's request to turn it down;
Light a candle by sticking a piece of paper into a toaster and filling the house with smoke; and
Showing Jimmy a cigarette he intended to smoke.
This is all between 2:00 and 9:15 today.
There just aren't answers that make sense as to what we should do. I know that everyone has their opinions, but when he is in this "mood" it is difficult to redirect without a major blow up. We will ask his therapist on Friday what his recommendation is.
it's very very hard not to feel like a complete failure... first Mike and now maybe, after fighting for two long years, we may not be able to keep John home either.
I even offered him a substantial reward to do what he was supposed to do this week... guess that didn't work.
And even though he tells me not to, I always feel so guilty for leaving Bart to deal with it all alone.
But at any rate, I'm in Dallas, I'm going to bed soon and will hopefully sleep.
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