Lead Me

 How many times have you asked God to lead you?  When you do do you have a specific destination in mind?

I must confess that when I ask God to lead, I’m hoping he leads me to cool stuff.   Blessings, joy, peace.

These verses from Philippians 3 always reframe that for me:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

The end sounds great right?   Attaining the resurrection from the dead!

But wait a minute….. what about that suffering stuff?   Is that what we signed up for?  Actually.  It is.  

Paul is clearly says that he wanted to KNOW Jesus and the power of his resurrection, but realized that in order to do so he had to share his sufferings and become like him in his death.

As we head toward Good Friday and remember Jesus suffering, are we brave enough pray that God would lead us to the cross?

What are you Standing on?

My Tuesdays at work are always jam packed with meetings pretty much back to back from 9 to 4:30.   So I call it #TooBusyTuesday and all I put in my devotional emails is a song.

Here's today's song:

But I also mentioned that I kind of wanted to write a devotional from Deuteronomy 25:11-12 but I didn't.

What's your response?

 I know you know this verse from Psalm 118:

This is the day which the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it.

But do you know what verse comes right before it?  I didn’t remember, that’s for sure.

This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.

And what is the context?  What did the Lord do that was marvelous in the eyes of the psalmist?

Thank you that you have answered me and have become my salvation. The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone

It’s always so cool to look at the progression of events that lead to the verse we remember.   God answered David.   He became his salvation and his cornerstone.

He sees this as marvelous in his eyes — and his response?  To rejoice in each day that the Lord has made.

What is our response to what God has done for us?

If you only want to listen to one song today, check out this great one from the year I graduated from college before some of you were alive.

https://youtu.be/IKnbQx0IfKc

Or, if you’d like to spend some time listening to songs that pertain to this passage, I created a playlist just for us for Psalm 118

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtoZdaTOetnOeRk9WFBFsyswNnyXhHuYI

a one day vacay

Bart and I went to Richmond for the night.  I had one work meeting and we paid for a nice hotel.  Had dinner with some amazing new friends last night 

This morning we did a little shopping... had lunch with an old friend ... and now we are heading home. 

A break from the routine was nice and so far we haven’t heard that the kids burned the house down. 

I’d call that a win.  

If I told you

I was door dashing...

I guess you wouldn't care.

Let me tell you why.

I'm just the driver and I bring a kid with me.  It allows them to make more money and I get a little for the vacation fund for Bart and I.

Unintended consequence?  Better relationships with these kids that have been driving me crazy.  At least so far.

Back in the Saddle Again

 Finally, after a LOOOOOOOONG year, I get to speak in person a couple times in the next few months.  If you live anywhere close I'd love to see you in the audience!

I get to do this

and...

I want to personally invite you to join me at this upcoming retreat for foster and adoptive parents.  You pour so much into your children, and I know this will be a very meaningful time for us to gather with other parents and be refilled in the Lord's presence.  We are planning a very special experience and I don't want you to miss it.

Are you weary from the trials of the last year and 

parenting children from hard places?

Join us in May for 

Renew Retreat!

This gathering has been created by and for parents like you!

Come for a time of rest, reflection and renewal!

• Special experiences for dads and moms
• Single parents welcomed and encouraged
• Inspiring speakers, new friends, free coffee and even comedy!

Secure your spot now for early bird pricing!

(ends April 1st)

 

Certificate of Training will be provided to all attendees

https://renewretreat.org/

My month in Costa Rica

You may know this — you may not — but from age 28-30 I was a missionary in Mexico.  They were great years and I learned so much about life, the universe and everything.   (42)

Before I could go to Mexico I had to go to language school in Costa Rica, which is, by the way a gorgeous country.   But I had just left my job as the equivalent of a college vice-president, and that role had completely defined me.   

Suddenly I was in a brand new country, surrounded by a language which I didn’t know very well  (Just so you know, 2 years in Jr. High, 2 years in High School, and 2 years of college classes does not equal being able to speak a language)  The host family I had was weird — the program I was in allowed language students to stay with these families who were supposed to give them a feel for the country.  This family was doing it for the money, obviously.   They had me stay in their dead daughters room which had remain untouched as a shrine to her (creepy huh) and she was a collector of owls — so I was surrounded by owls.   They never ate with me — she fixed me a meal and set it on the table and then went into a another room.  She and her husband ate, I suppose, but I never knew when because I never saw them eat.

Making matters worse, the other people in my class were not there to learn Spanish to be missionaries — they were there to party.  They were cruise ship folks and business folks whose companies were paying for them to be in Costa Rica for a month and they were having fun!   But their definition of fun was rocking my holiness world.  So I kept to myself.  Which is NOT me.  

So I went from being on a Christian campus with an important role where I worked from 7 am to 10 pm and ate all my meals in the dining commons surrounded by college students …. to eating alone in another country surrounded by nothing but my own thoughts and retired to a room where owls that stared at me while I slept.  

I had no role.  I had no idea who I was any more.  I wasn’t important, aI had no friends, I wasn’t a daughter or a sister or a friend or a Dean of Students or a Sunday School teacher or even a missionary yet.  I was nothing but me.   And I realized I had no idea who I was.  

Three weeks into my stay I discovered that there was a Nazarene Seminary within taxi distance of where I was staying.   I went there to visit and felt like I had come home.   I only made two visits there, but the people welcomed me so warmly and blessed me so much..

One of the missionary couples had a couple of kids and they invited me hear them sing at their Christian school choir concert.  In the midst of that concert, they sang this song — in English even.  

Step by step you lead me, and I will follow you all of my days.   

A sense of calm swept over me and I realized that at that moment, I didn’t need to know WHO I was if I always could remember WHOSE I was.   God had me — step by step.  And he would lead me to the next phase of my journey — and the next — and the next — and that I didn’t need to know what that looked like if I knew HE was in control.

Fast forward thirty years and It’s still true.   Looking over those years he has been there, every step, leading, guiding, preparing me for the next thing.  I am confident that he will do that for me as I approach uncertain years ahead.  

 If you are my age, you can look back and see that as well.   If you are the age I was then, you can COUNT on the fact that he will do the same for you.

I heard this song this week that has the same message:

https://youtu.be/02RHzc_w6cs

Obtain the prize

Ever get frustrated about the state we are in as a nation or even humankind in general?  In Matthew 24 it sounds like Jesus was talking to us in 2021

At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Each of us has our own way of defining standing firm, but it is clear that that is the secret to our salvation.  This is a marathon, not a sprint — life is a long, hilly race with distractions and pitfalls and detours.   It is lived out in the daily struggle, all the while standing firm.

Remember the hymn “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand?”  We stand firm — on Christ the SOLID rock, and do that to the end.   That’s the key.

In 1 corinthians 9 we read, " Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.”

Whichever metaphor you prefer — standing firm, or running the race to obtain the price — it’s the endurance, or as my mom would stay, the stick-to-itiveness, that takes us where we need to go.

So whether your day to day calls you to stand firm — or to run with all your might — do it so that in the end a prize is yours — your very salvation.

My daughter Sadie (who is expecting grandchild #10 (a girl) in May, sent me this song.  I hadn’t heard it.  And I love it!

Hope it blesses you today:

Whew

 Sat through a day of National CarePortal Meetings.

I'm tired.

It was awesome.

I love it more every 

single

day.

Only a few items left on this list and we will have everything.  Tomorrow night I get to meet with the caregiver and tell her all we're doing for her.

Here's the context:

https://www.careportal.org/open-requests/61648/request/

Here's the wishlist!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/HKY50QHUP8Z4?ref_=wl_share

A willing spirit

How would you describe your spirit?  Does it change from day to day?  Or is it pretty consistent? 

Remember David …. the man after God’s own heart … that did horrible awful thing like sleep with another man’s wife and then orchestrate her husbands death?

Yeah, he screwed up big time (no pun intended).   

In Psalm 51 he confesses his sin to God.  He reminds God of how he was shaped in iniquity and sin — and truly asks God for forgiveness…. he repents and asks for a clean heart.

Then in verse 12 he says:

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Maybe there is no particular order to these two things …. and that  David was recognized instead that these two things are intertwined — if joy is restored we have a willing spirit.   Or if we have a willing spirit, joy is naturally restored.

Thoughts to ponder on a Monday.

And here are two great songs to get that joy pumping through your soul today….

https://youtu.be/yOEviTLJOqo

(by the way, if my kitchen looked like that when I was going to start the dishes, I’d be happy too!   And it’s a good thing nobody is my office cuz me singing with my earbuds in has got to be atrocious!)

https://youtu.be/-GjW1pSYgUk

Sometimes when you blog every day....

 You don't have a ton to say.  Actually, I always have way too much to say, but deciding what to say on any given day is tricky.

Salinda and Mike and the kids are in Florida.  They left at midnight last night and went have arrived at Disney World.  They are meeting friends there.  The kids were SO EXCITED that they were bouncing around everywhere yesterday.  Makes me happy to see them so happy.

Dominyk has lost about 120 pounds.  He finally let him take his picture today -- unbelievable how different he looks.  His food plan involves lots of weed and energy drinks, but hey... he looks great.  The one seated was 5 years ago.... the one of him standing is this morning.  Crazy huh?

It's Leon's birthday.  I love him so much and am so proud of him.  We know have 3 children who are 26.... hard to believe.  He moved in with us a few months before turning 13.... and has brought us so much joy.   He has found a lovely girl to marry and they do so well together.  We couldn't be happier for them.

Looks like Rand and Amanda might finally get to have a wedding even though they were married last June in her parents back yard.  This means a trip to Minnesota in June.

Mercedes is due with a baby girl end of May so we will get to see grandchild number 10 within weeks of her birth.   I thought about going for the birth -- but I think I'd just get in the way.

I am thinking about doing something extreme with my diet in April and trying Dr. Nowzardan's diet.  I find myself being so critical of the folks who can't follow it I thought maybe I should try and see if I can do it before I keep acting like they are pathetic that they can't.  1200 calories a day isn't much.  Still pondering that.

CarePortal remains forefront in my mind all the time because it's awesome.  But you know that because I talk about it all the time.

There you go -- my brain dump for today!

No More #DoIt4TheKidsDay ... Here's why

For the last 4 years, I have been involved in what we called "Do it For the Kids Day."   It started in 2017 with a bang -- we raised about $50,000.  I raised over $10 myself.  I was able to walk 3.2 miles that day.  It was really cool.

The next few weren't so cool.  Not as many people were interested or participated.  We raised less.  I refused to call it over.  This past year I was the only one who did it and raised $5K.  I'm glad I did because we needed it to launch CarePortal in a couple more counties, but it wasn't as fun alone.

Plus I think my friends are weary of it all.

That doesn't mean, however, that I don't want to give people opportunity to participate in giving back to the the things I care about.   So.....

Do you have a few minutes and a few dollars to bless a foster parent who will need a lot of support to transition a 10 year old out of foster care?

This story tugs at my heart because this kid needs a chance to make it in a family setting so this caregiver needs all the help she can get. She and I are going to dinner on Wednesday so I can be a support to her.

There are lots of ways you can support her and the child with both time (locally) or resources (from anywhere)

You can read more here and give on the CarePortal:

Or you can click on the wish list we created in amazon.

Or if you'd rather you can just Venmo or CashApp or PayPal or Facebook Message me the $.

I'd love to blow this woman away with YOUR generosity!

Wonderful Words

Obviously I think it is the responsibility of Christians to speak out and share what is on their hearts in regards to the tough issues in this world like injustice, hypocrisy, and lukewarmness.   

But there are other times when we just need to remind each other of wonderful words…. Beautiful words…. Spoken to us through God’s word.

So today, let me share these wonderful words from the beginning of Psalm 107:

 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
    for his steadfast love endures forever!
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
    whom he has redeemed from trouble 
3 and gathered in from the lands,
    from the east and from the west,
    from the north and from the south.
4 Some wandered in desert wastes,
    finding no way to a city to dwell in;
5 hungry and thirsty,
    their soul fainted within them.
6 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
    till they reached a city to dwell in.
8 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
    for his wondrous works to the children of man!
9 For he satisfies the longing soul,
    and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

If these words are true for you share them with others:

 Anyone else remember this hymn?

Sing them over again to me
Wonderful words of life
Let me more of their beauty see
Wonderful words of life
Words of life and beauty teach me faith and duty

Beautiful words, wonderful words
Wonderful words of life

Let’s here this rendition by the Christian Choristers:

Have you figured out how to learn from the past?

Do you learn from the past?  Not just from mistakes but from victories and the good things as well?

My blog entries tend to have certain themes that get repeated?  Obviously, over the years, God teaches and reteaches me through his word key principles that I really need to learn and relearn and I pass them on to you.   

So the thoughts in this email have certainly been shared before…. using different verses probably, but this passage really drove home the thought for today once more for me.

In Deuteronomy 1:31-33 we read:

you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.’ Yet in spite of this you did not believe the Lord your God,  who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go.

It’s almost as though Moses is saying, “Seriously people?  What more is it going to take for you to get it.”

Not only did God go before them and prepared the way…

Not only did God show them which way to go ….

but he carried them — picked them up like a little child … and carried them to a new and better place.

But in SPITE of that, they still murmured and were fearful about crossing the finish line.

We need to learn from the past whenever we face something hard or something new.   God went before us then.  He prepared the way.  He gave us direction.  And when he needed to, he carried us.   So instead of having the same fear and murmuring of the Israelites, let’s learn from the past.  Let’s recognize the truth for what it is.

Whatever God did for us in the past, he’ll do it again.   No need to worry.  No need to murmur.  No need to fear.  He’ll prepare a way when we can’t see where to go.  He will show us which way to go.  And when we need him to, he will carry us.

I am sharing this song because it is one of the the theme songs for the life of my family, but I apologize for sharing it more than once.  It’s so good.  

And another awesome song with this theme:

How to Make Wickedness Shut It's Mouth

 

One of my favorite quotes of all times is this:

Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it. But, I’m afraid He would ask me the same question. 

Think about that for a minute.

Now read it again.

Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it. But, I’m afraid He would ask me the same question. 

In Psalm 107 there are all kinds of cool verses.  Verses 41 and 42 make me sit up and take notice:

but he raises up the needy out of affliction
and makes their families like flocks.

The upright see it and are glad,
and all wickedness shuts its mouth.

God will raise up the needy.   He may use us to do it (in fact, he has no plan B.  We are his hands and his feet) and it’s goign to get done.

And that next verse is such a great thought — he takes the needy out of their affliction and makes their families like flocks.   Whatever image comes to your mind when you think of a flock, it is way different than the disarray of many of the families in our communities.  And yet God can do that.  Again, he uses his people to make it happen, but he does it!

And what is the response of the “upright?”   They are glad.  They rejoice when the underdog wins…. when the prodigal returns…. when the least deserving get grace…. when the worst of us gets mercy.  The upright rejoice when good things happen to those we don’t think are worthy.

And what happens after all this?   

After God’s people step in to raise the needy from affliction...

After God’s people assist in making the families of the needy like flocks ....

After the upright see what God is done and rejoice in it…

THEN wickedness shuts its mouth.

Profund.

Do you need to hear this today?

When all I see is the battle, 

You see my victory

When all I see is the mountain, 

You see a mountain moved

And as I walk through the shadow, 

Your love surrounds me

There's nothing to fear now for I am safe with You


So when I fight, I'll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I'll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You


And if You are for me who can be against me? (Yeah)
For Jesus there's nothing impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes, You see the beauty (Thank You, God)
When all I see is a cross, God, You see the еmpty tomb


So when I fight, I'll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battlе belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I'll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You

What are you choosing today?

 Anybody have Alexa living with you?  She just moved in with me a few weeks ago and I like her so much.  She does everything I tell her too (if I’m clear as to what I want) and when I say “ALEXA… STOP” she does.  Immediately.   Oh how I have longed for the day when I had someone in my house like that.

One of my favorite things about having her live with me is that I can ask her to play a particular song for me and she does it right away (if I am paying for an Amazon music subscription, but I digress).

And to further digress, but not really, because this is the main point, I have always loved these verses from Psalm 30:

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
    and give thanks to his holy name. 
5 For his anger is but for a moment,
    and his favor is for a lifetime. 
Weeping may tarry for the night,
    but joy comes with the morning.

Joy comes with the morning.   A little bit of joy pops in as certainly as the sun rises, if we allow that joy to take precedence over everything else.

So now, in the morning, as I’m getting dressed and before I leave my room, I have gotten in the habit of saying “Alexa… play Joy by For King and Country.”

And suddenly I am swept away, getting the fire fire back in my bones and reminded that today I choose joy.

Want to choose joy with me today?

Sing along…

Have a solution? I do, but you probably won't like it.

After church today I was having a conversation with one of the men in our church about generational poverty.  He pointed out, accurately, that families do not have examples or mentors in their own parents, grandparents and sometimes great grandparents.  They are raised by people who waited each month for a welfare check just like their own parents do.   His point was that we have gone too far with welfare.

He has a very good point and has pointed out a serious problem.  But what is the remedy?  Is the remedy to stop welfare payments?  What is that going to do?  If people haven't been taught or mentored by family members, how are they going to suddenly be successful because the check doesn't come.

In our Vision 30 we talk about being born into an unhealthy river and how many things can get you from healthy to unhealthy (substance use, trafficking, domestic violence, etc.).  But the only way to get from unhealthy to healthy is through a meaningful relationship.

And that is the crux of what is needed for there to be a solution.  If we want to see kids safe, and families strong, and folks coming out of poverty they need guides .... mentors.... people who care.   What if one middle class family was willing to do everything within their power to help one family in poverty learn something new?  Now THAT would be a solution.

And how would people find those families?  CarePortal.   It provides church families with connections to families in crisis.

And almost any other solution seems like a better idea for middle class folks than getting involved on personal, daily level with those who need us most.

OK, maybe I just want too far.....

check this out.

Not bad huh?

Hovering

I have a confession to make.  I spent over an hour the other day doing something that was a complete waste of time.  I was searching the CarePortal help center to figure out what the targets were on the CHAD (the County Health Assessment Dashboard).  If you want to know what that is you can ask and I’ll tell you all about it.

Anyway, I never found an article saying what the targets were.  I could see our scores — and that some of them were red (bad), some were yellow (on their way to good) and others were green (good) but I didn’t know what we were shooting for.

So I finally gave up and sent in a ticket to CarePortal support and received this response:

"When you hover over the red, yellow, and green squares, it shows you what the targets are.”

Ugh.  I felt really dumb.

But then I realized that many times the speed at which I push through life keeps me from hovering…. From pausing to see what is under the things in front of me instead of skipping over them quickly…. From learning what I need to learn.

There’s a reason why we re told in Psalm 46:10. “Be still… and know…. That I am GOD!”

Be still.  Hover.  Breathe.  Know.  He is God.

This or That

Ever been asked to do something you don’t really feel like doing?   Something that you don’t have to do — but it would be a  good thing to do — and maybe God might like it if you did it — but you just can’t  make yourself say yes?

In raising a lot of kids who are now adults, I am always quite amused by the statement “I really don’t have time to (fill in the blank) because I’m too busy.”  

More ridiculous words have never been spoken, people?   Because you know what they are busy doing?   Watching TV…. playing Xbox …. watching YouTube Videos and learning about how the Aztecs really weren’t native Mexicans… they migrated from Wisconsin.   THAT is why they are too busy to clean up a mess they made, or give a sibling a ride, or well, pretty much anything else.

But really, don’t we do the same in more sophisticated form?  I am too busy to teach Sunday School because on Sunday mornings I need to spend an extra hour in my chair reading a novel?

Based on observing my children’s behavior I have developed a way to make the decision as to whether or not to step into an opportunity to serve God or others.   I ask myself, “What would you be doing instead?”

For years, I had a great excuse.  I was raising 12 kids.  So nobody even asked me to do extra stuff.   Grant it, I did do a bunch of things, but I always had something “worthy” that gave me an excuse to be too busy.

Now that they can no longer be my reason, I could easily conclude “I’ve done my part.”  But then I ask myself, “what would I be doing instead.”

So when the invitation was made help clean out a building at my work this Saturday I automatically gave myself an out because I hate cleaning.  And my back is bad and I won’t be of much help.  And my Saturday mornings are pretty full.    I write to my mother.  I write to my husband’s family.  I do the accounts for the boys living here so that they can watch the amount that they owe us go up every week (OK, so that was a bit cynical, but true).  I then do the Powerpoint for church.  It takes about 2.5 hours to do that stuff.  They I typically go out to lunch, and come home and allow myself to sit and watch Netflix or read for the rest of the day.

So before I gave a final no to the opportunity, I thought — you know, I could switch it up.   I could go to Rustburg in the morning and do the letters and powerpoint in the afternoon.  Because the “instead of serving’ was really about me doing nothing of any meaningful value.

As a child it was drilled into me that as Romans 14:12 says’  Some day I was going to have to give an account of myself to God.”  And from that time I have always wanted to hear the words “Well Done, thou good and faithful servant (because I’m pretty sure God is going to use King James when we enter heaven).

I am pretty sure the words, “Well done!  You watched every episode of 243 TV shows in your lifetime …. enter into the joy of thy inheritance” aren’t going to be spoken.

So guess where I will be on Saturday morning?   You guessed it.   And if you are local you can join me!

(By the way, I don’t always make the best choices.   That is why it is awesome that God’s mercies are new every day and each day we can make a new start)

https://youtu.be/7yZf1nd1d50

Should you turn off the filter?

Do you, like I, ever struggle with not engaging the filter between your brain and your mouth?  There are times when mine just doesn’t work so well.   

But sometimes the filter needs to be turned off.

Do you remember the argument that Balaam had with Balak in Numbers 23?  If you are saying yes, I am impressed!   

Here’s how it went.

Balak wanted Balaam to cuse his enemies.  But Baalam was determined to speak the words God had given them.   That didn’t work out so well for Balak!  The words that the Lord gave Balaam to speak were the opposite of the ones that Balak wanted to hear.

In Numbers 23:11-12 we read these words:

And Balak said to Balaam, “What have you done to me? I took you to curse my enemies, and behold, you have done nothing but bless them.” 12 And he answered and said, “Must I not take care to speak what the Lord puts in my mouth?”

There are times when we need a filter, no doubt.   But it is not when it comes to words of Scripture — or the words that we know God has asked us to share with others.     Regardless of whether or not it is what people want to hear, we need to find a way to share God’s words — as lovingly, gently and with as much grace as we can.  

What’s word has God put in your mouth today?

Anybody grow up singing this song from Psalm 19? 

https://youtu.be/lKnmUSrPlCo

It was part of my teenage years.  The version I used to sing ended with “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable unto you, O God, my Rock and my Redeemer.

This is a little different version and is a recording of Rich Mullins singing it.  (And if you haven’t seen the movie about his life called  Rich Mullins: A Ragamuffin's Legacy  you should check it out.   And if you haven’t read the book by Brennan Manning called  The Ragamuffin Gospel you really should read that too. Wow, I just told you a lot of things you should do didn’t I?  :-)

Feeling out of control?

 If there's one thing I've learned during through this journey of raising 12 kids it's that there is very little I can control.   As hard as I try to control the people and events around me (and believe me, I try!) the less effective I am.

If COVID has taught us anything, it's how few things outside of ourselves we can control.   

So when things seem out of control, my most effective strategy is to control what I can.

I can control what I put into my body. I can control how much exercise I get.  I can control what feed on mentally.  I can control how I spent my free time and with whom.  And I can control the way I respond to the people around me.

As I am aging I realize the days that I am going to need the most amount of energy.   On Tuesdays I have a day of meetings and today we even have our board of trustees meeting AND I've added an evening meeting. 

So what did I do this morning?  I was awake early so that I could drive away at 6:30 having already lifted weights, gone for a cool walk, listened to my daily Bible plan, heard a podcast, and filled my water bottle. I got to my office early so I could clean up emails and issues that would annoy me during my meetings if they weren't done.  And I grabbed a basically no carb, all protein breakfast of a hard boiled egg and some cheese.  Less than 300 calories for breakfast.   

I may not be able to control what happens in my meetings or how many times my kids send me distracting texts or the bad decisions they might make today.  But I can control how I feel physically because of the choices I've made.  I can control how much energy I have and how good I feel (carbs deplete my energy and make me feel lethargic).  

The temptation when things are out of control is always for me to sit in my recliner, watch Netflix, play Candy Crush and drool on myself.... but that gets me nowhere.  So I control the things I can.

Try it.  It might work for you too.

From where are you seeking approval?

Who do you want to get approval from?   And how important is that approval?

I heard this verse recently from John 5:44 (ESV)

How can you believe while you continue to accept glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

Jesus was referring to folks who did not believe in him even though he was explaining that he had come from his Father.   He’s basically saying “Don’t you get it?  I’m most important.”  He seemed almost perplexed that folks would be seeking glory and approval from others before him.

Isn’t this a good question for us to ask ourselves today?  If we are having trouble believing in the trustworthiness of Jesus and in the God who sent him, maybe it has something to do with the priorities we have set and from whom we are seeking glory.

Sunday afternoon musings

Since I decided blogging every day was a New Year's resolution I have decided that on weekends I'll just type whatever and not link it to Facebook.   

In looking back at old blog posts, I was so ready to divulge every emotion and how I was process everything.  I think I had a bit more hope back then -- now I'm just resolved to have things be what they are, I guess.  And what they are is us in our mid to late fifties, with a house full of kids and some grandkids.   We have some happy times, but for the most part we have stress from trying to maneuver things so we can have some peace and also toe the fine line between being supportive and enabling.

I don't like it.  I feel like we always err on one side or the other, but mostly on the enabling side probably.   Erring on the side of grace is our motto.

At this point we have a house full of young adults who area all employed and they all pay rent.  They are in church if they aren't working (for the most part).  They are generally respectful and occasionally express gratitude.    They are trying to be independent and yet they need help from us.

I know I shouldn't whine.  I know there are so many families who have it so much worse.  We have a lovely home.... we get to see cute grandkids regularly.  We have help with household stuff we don't really want to do ourselves.   

Maybe if I wasn't so much of a control freak things would go better, but it's kinda my nature.  I'm trying to back off and not be a nag but shutting my mouth is the hardest thing I ever have to do.

And maybe sometimes .... I just need to laugh.   For example, and I kid you not, I yelled down he stairs.  "Make sure you save some of that for your brother.  He gets off work in a few minutes."

Response:   "You should have said that earlier .... I just ate all the meat.  But he won't care anyway.  We're both going to be high in about an hour."

Sigh.  (It's weed, almost legal in Virginia, and not smoked at the house, so we've given up on that... they are almost 25 and 29).   But seriously?  This is my life???  :-)

The Unlinked Update

 So weekends are times when I just blog like I used to.  I don't link it anywhere and people who care enough to come here intentionally get to find out how we are and what is up.  And, most importantly, how I FEEL about what is up.

So.... work is going full speed ahead.  It's invigorating.  I will spare you those details.

I'm killing it when it comes to my habit challenge.  Today is day 65 of this year and I have a perfect streak going.  I also added two more in February and another 2 in March ... and that kind of stuff makes me feel powerful.   Like I can do about anything I set my mind to do.

We have had a huge hassle with car insurance that has made me incredibly crabby and it's still not over.  Having this many adults in the house, with one of them having a really bad record when it comes to cars, has made it all an unbelievable mess that never ends.  To repeat myself this is making me very crabby.

Yesterday Bart was very discouraged by a presentation he attended about kinship care.  Not because he disagrees with kinship placements, but because adoptive parents and even foster parents seemed to be devalued and almost demonized.  "Imagine the horror of children being dumped into a strangers house."  His personality leans towards stewing .. so we had a night of that last night, but I woke up determined to choose joy.

I finished the book "Ministry in Ordinary Places" and find myself fairly captivated with Shannon Martin's writing and her view of life in the midst of the messy complicated journey.   I could be her friend, I think, except that she's famous enough that everyone could be her friend and she makes people feel that way in her writing.  But she and I have a ton in common so it's too bad she can't meet me :-)

So here we are on a Saturday morning, ready for me to write letters and get a powerpoint done for worship tomorrow.  Hope your Saturday is a great day!

Do you have it all together? (Or is your life a little messy?)

 

On a good day I feel pretty good about myself.  Don't you?  But there are many days when I recognize just what a mess I am.  

A coworker  loaned me a book called “Ministry in Ordinary Places.”  It’s a great book.  Shannon Martin is a good writer— you know, the one that weaves words together flawlessly and actually proofreads (unlike yours truly)

She is an adoptive parent but that’s not what her book is about — it is about what it is like to live intentionally along side people who aren’t like you.   Moving from the country to the city and married to a jail chaplain, she works out her faith by walking with people whose lives are really messy and learning as she goes along from those people.

One of the realization that we’re all a mess in some way.  It may not be because we are getting out of prison …. Or because we are battling addiction to drugs and alcohol… or because we are unemployed or living in poverty.  

But it could be because we have created our own prison with our fears and anxiety.  Or we could be addicted to success, approval, or …. Dare I say, food?  Or it could be because we are over-valuing the things money can by and considering ourselves to be above those who have less.

Romans 3:10 in the Amplified Bible spells it out so clearly:

As it is written and forever remains written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS [none that meets God’s standard], NOT EVEN ONE.

We are all a mess.  And not only do I need to be in relationships with folks who are different than me because they need me to walk with them …. But because I need them to walk with me through this journey of life.  They teach me stuff.  I learn from them. I have learned this so well with the girls I have attempted to mentor through CarePortal.   

Living intentionally….. walking with people side by side…. Learning …. Growing… and admitting we don’t have all the answers — that we are a mess that only God’s grace can make whole.   That’s what life is all about.

If you haven’t seen this video yet you need to stop everything and watch it.   Just sayin.

https://youtu.be/j4wYkS8Z3Io

I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not
I'm broken
And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not
And you know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When being honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin you don't already know
So let the truth be told

Come on Down

Often I send all-staff emails to the folks at work about ways they can get involved personally in helping children and families in our community.

When I hit send I imagine eye rolls.   “Why is Claudia always inviting us to do something?  Why does it always have to be so far outside my comfort zone?”

People find it hard to believe when I suggest that is truly to share joy with them— to share an opportunity for you to see God do cool stuff.   I have had this motto for years personally (obviously we see how that is turning out :-)  :

"If you want to see God do cool things, do things you can’t possibly do alone. Because if you only take on what you can handle, you don’t need God to show up.”

Because of the choices my husband and I have made, we have had the privilege of seeing God show up in amazing ways over the years.  Sometimes we have been stretched to the point we felt we were going torn apart, but we are still standing and God is still in control.

Jesus’ words were even more challenging than my emails:  In fact, they were super “out there” when it comes to rational thought.  Check out these verses from Matthew 16:

 “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.   If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 

So when I suggest that heading to  “the hood”  and clean up someones yard of course you’re going to delete that email — because that is way more than you can imagine doing.  I get that.  But believe me when I say  that if you say yes “not only will lives be changed, but you will never be the same”’

The very heart of the gospel is this:  That if we hang on to — protect — guard — over-value — cling to this earthly life, we’re going lose it.  Giving up our lives for His sake is the only way to find them.

Check out this great song. 

Does it remind you of this:

Brand New

You'd think at this point in time and at my age there wouldn't be things that occurred to me in a different way any more.  But they do, every day.

You know this verse from 2 Corinthians 5:17 :  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

I always thought it was a one and done deal.   We come to Christ, he makes us new.  Once.

But really ... it's a daily thing.  Every day he keeps making me new.  Every day he helps me walk away from the old and look forward to the new.  This song really makes that clear, so enjoy it today!

https://youtu.be/xCUMlcfLpcY