Since I decided blogging every day was a New Year's resolution I have decided that on weekends I'll just type whatever and not link it to Facebook.
In looking back at old blog posts, I was so ready to divulge every emotion and how I was process everything. I think I had a bit more hope back then -- now I'm just resolved to have things be what they are, I guess. And what they are is us in our mid to late fifties, with a house full of kids and some grandkids. We have some happy times, but for the most part we have stress from trying to maneuver things so we can have some peace and also toe the fine line between being supportive and enabling.
I don't like it. I feel like we always err on one side or the other, but mostly on the enabling side probably. Erring on the side of grace is our motto.
At this point we have a house full of young adults who area all employed and they all pay rent. They are in church if they aren't working (for the most part). They are generally respectful and occasionally express gratitude. They are trying to be independent and yet they need help from us.
I know I shouldn't whine. I know there are so many families who have it so much worse. We have a lovely home.... we get to see cute grandkids regularly. We have help with household stuff we don't really want to do ourselves.
Maybe if I wasn't so much of a control freak things would go better, but it's kinda my nature. I'm trying to back off and not be a nag but shutting my mouth is the hardest thing I ever have to do.
And maybe sometimes .... I just need to laugh. For example, and I kid you not, I yelled down he stairs. "Make sure you save some of that for your brother. He gets off work in a few minutes."
Response: "You should have said that earlier .... I just ate all the meat. But he won't care anyway. We're both going to be high in about an hour."
Sigh. (It's weed, almost legal in Virginia, and not smoked at the house, so we've given up on that... they are almost 25 and 29). But seriously? This is my life??? :-)
1 comment:
I hate to point out that they will be hungry after the high.
The experience of living with adult children is extremely common these days, given the problems in our economy. A lot of people whose kids have had significantly fewer life challenges than yours are living at home, too. If they're paying rent that's a big deal!
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