Funk

 I've been in kind of a funk the last week or so.   I'm trying to figure out why.  I think it boils down to a few things:

1). I'm very discouraged by the fact that several of my children are dealing with their issues by either drinking or smoking weed.  The smell of marijuana is a huge trigger for me (going back to my high school days and being reinforced for the last twenty years or so) and now that is is about to be legal in Virginia the smell is everywhere.  But when it is on my property it is very troubling to me.  It makes me feel unappreciated and disrespected since we are subsidizing everyone's finances by having them here and it's one of the very few rules we have.   

In addition to me hating it, it makes me sad that instead of going to therapy and resolving the issues that lead them to needing those substances, they cover them.  It isn't going to lead to any kind of healing.

2). A few things that have happened at work (more than likely just misunderstandings) have led me to feeling as though my intentions and integrity are being questions.  And if you know me at all that is very troubling to me.

3). Life seems pretty monotonous and it has been for what?  13 months?  Not a lot of variety and not much to be excited about.  

4).   I haven't done as well with my food lately and that always messes with my mood.  Unfortunately I feel crappy when I eat crappy.

The nice thing about my personality is that I don't like myself much when I get into a funk... so I'll pull out  of it soon.

But that's how today started.