Saturday, July 22, 2006

Can't Win Them All (or even 2 of them)

well, this morning’s victory appears to be the only one of the season for the Dodgers. I was at the ball park for almost 7 hours today total, and almost 3 last night. That’s a lot of baseball.

Several issues today that would take way to much energy to write about have pushed me to an exhausted days end.

Every single day there are questions as to whether or not we as parents are doing the right thing. I know this is not just an adoptive parent thing, but a “normal thing” for parents of all children -- especially as they enter their teens. What is the balance between between being too involved and not involved enough? between providing direction and letting them make their own decisions and mistakes? between providing for them and making them learn the value of money and how to be responsible? between legislating morality and giving too much freedom?

I don’t have the answers. I don’t know that any of us do. I am sure that there are people out there (my parents were some of them) who get one easy kid. I was pretty easy. And I know that there are other parents out there who luck out and get kids who want to please their parents, have goals and work towards them, know who they are, etc. and those parents can and should be proud and they can even take credit for the kids success if they want to. But my parents raised my brothers and I the same way and they turned out much different than I.

I write all that because sometimes I wonder how much of what we as parents do really makes or breaks a kid. And because I’m never completely sure that we’re making the right decisions.

I think that is what is the hardest about parenting. In the past, in all of my professional endeavors, I was nearly always very sure I was doing the right thing. Things were clear to me. But as a parent, it’s all very muddled.

Tonight I will eventually, if all goes well, fall asleep -- but not without that nagging sense that maybe I’m not parenting the very best way. And that is what makes me like all good parents -- that uncertainty, that always striving to do better, that internal (or external with ones spouse) churning of ideas trying to determine the right course to take... and never being completely sure we’ve chosen the right one.

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