Yesterday was one of those days. I haven't had one for a while and I'm not sure it's completely over. But it was one of those days where I fell into the trap of believing that these kids ARE going to do what I say. It's not a fun place to be.
For some reason yesterday must have been National Defiance Day... maybe that is two days after National Adoption Day for a reason . . . but it wasn't fun for anyone around here. Literally the first thing I dealt with within 10 minutes of waking up was a defiant young adult and I ended my night going to bed an hour after my preferred bedtime because I was dealing with the repercussions of the defiant choices of a teenager. In the middle there were four or five others who simply decided that yesterday they weren't going to do what I said.
On Sunday night the interview on the radio had me talking about how I had grown beyond this -- that I realized the kids weren't going to change and so I was focusing on changing me -- but it turns out I hadn't grown completely out of it based on my behavior yesterday.
I also lied to you yesterday, but it wasn't really a lie but simply a mistake. I do have to leave town this afternoon for a home visit -- but it is less than an hour away and won't take very long. This morning Dominyk goes to the dentist, completing the long list of kids who have been there this past two months.
I have insurance issues to sort out, financial aid for Rand and possibly Salinda, and a hoard of work stuff to do.
Now if I can just remind myself that the only person I can change is me, I might have a better day than I did yesterday. I guess the choice is mine.