Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Vitamin Water and a 20 Minute Walk
Last night Bart bought some vitamin water for the family. Dominyk was with him, and since he no longer gets pop, his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder now has shifted to being obsessed with any drink that isn't water. So Bart brought them home and Dominyk was determined to pass them out. However, Bart had already given him instructions about how to do that, and when he didn't follow them, Dominyk went into a complete meltdown.
We mistakingly believed the meltdown to be over and took just 20 minutes to go for a walk. Sadie joined us and when we were on our way back we met Tony, sobbing on the street, small backpack packed, saying he was running away. Bart took care of Tony and I headed home to find DOminyk sobbing. Apparently he had tried to pass out the Vitamin Water which Salinda felt was not his job to do, so she took it away from him. He ended up throwing them at her and so, according to him, she hit him. He then proceeded to kick in his door.
Meanwhile, one of the Vitamin Waters had split open when it was thrown and apparently when Tony decided to get involved and pick it up, Jimmy for some reason decided to torment him by calling him the ever so popular "fatty." Tony hit Jimmy and Salinda determined that she needed to get TOny off of JImmy because he was about to knock over the TV. Jimmy pinched Tony, Tony left crying, and that's the end of that.
Except that I didn't handle the whole thing well leading to numerous further outbursts by all involved and me going to bed feeling like the worst parent in the world.
So.... the series of unfortunate events. What was the reason? Bart shouldn't have bought Vitamin Water? We shouldn't have gone for a walk? Salinda shouldn't have decided it mattered if Dominyk touched it? Jimmy shouldn't have.... Dominyk shouldn't have ... or I could go on.
Or I could go back further. Nobody's birth moms should have been drinking when they were pregnant. Nobody should have been abandoned, abused, neglected, or unvalued as an infant or toddler.
Or I could be even more personal. I should have followed my own advice that I gave while speaking in Texas last night. I shouldn't have let myself get overtired. I should have responded more calmly. I should have ..... the tyranny of the shoulds.
But it's over for another round. Maybe next time we'll do things differently and things will turn out differently. Maybe next time we won't do things differently and things will turn out the same....
But every time we go through something like this, it always passes, there is always a new day ahead, and we can always have yet another fresh start.
So this morning I was more calm, more patient, did things right and things were fine. Until the next time.