Those words have been going through my mind all week in musical form, sung to the tune, of course, of the hymn "God Will Take Care of You!" I left behind a lot of people that I love and I have to be reminded that if His plan was for me to move so far away, then it is His plan to take care of them through others.
Before leaving Minnesota I watched "War Room" with my mother. I had given it to her for Christmas because (if you have seen the movie) she IS a lighter complected Ms. Clara. My mom has been an intercessor and a prayer warrior all of her life. I have early memories of her when I was a child and teenager kneeling in front of her prayer chair as I got up in what was the middle of my night (probably 5 am) praying. As I watched the movie with her I realized that I was going to need to step up my prayer life.
The funny thing is -- I never have had any control over anything, even when I was right there. I guess I teased myself into believing I did, or at least I could drive over and talk to one of my kids if need be. But now that I am this far away I'm feeling quite helpless.
I've been talking to my mom and she has been trying to teach me about relinquishment. About letting go and letting God take care of things. I. am. not. good. at. that.
I would appreciate your prayers about one of my children. I am going to have to be very cryptic here, but those of you who know me well can probably figure it out. They (using they on purpose) have completely stopped communicating. They owe money for bills. They are in a very very difficult situation so I understand that, but this persons tendency is to completely block me out instead of asking me for help when they need it. I really need to stop obsessing about it.
So maybe you could pray for them .... that God will take care of them. I can't explain how much I love them -- and how many times I have been through the cycle of believing that they have changed and letting them into my heart .... only to be completely shut out as soon as their need for me is over. I have invested countless hours and built my life around them over the past three months and fallen in love all over again, only to now be ignored.
But maybe more than praying for them, you should pray for me. That I will be able to let go and let God. That I will not make this about me. That I will learn to pray more effectively. That I will recognize the lesson from the War Room movie -- that the enemy I'm fighting is not the person who is trapping people that I love, but that I will recognize who the enemy really is and enlist those angel armies to fight for me.