But I digress.
Right around midnight on Wednesday night, two beautiful identical twin girls were born to our oldest son and his wife. Their oldest son was given Bart's middle name which was a very big deal to Bart and I didn't quite get it. Until one of the twins was given my middle name. So Hazel Elyse (her other grandma's name) and Hattie Mae (my middle name) are here and doing well. And I already know that because of her middle name, I am going to have a relationship that is just a little bit different than my other grandchildren, even though I will treat them all the same.
Because there is something in a name. I was honored by that act. And having my mother's middle name has always been special to me (so you can imagine my mother's delight that another generation had our middle name). I am motivated to be a good example to Hattie Mae because I want her to be proud to carry my name. I want to be an especially good grandmother to her in particular so that it isn't an embarrassment to be named after me. I want to see that as something positive and good.
When I was a teenager I heard John Ott speak at a Wesleyan convention (was anyone there?) and he told this story that I have never forgotten. My husband, the skeptic, says that it is just folklore, that it never really happened, but I've never let his need to remind me of that ruin the concept of a great illustration.
Story is told that Alexander the Great, one of the greatest warriors of all time, was holding court one day when some military officials escorted before him a young soldier. This young soldier was caught running away from battle. Alexander the Great said, “Soldier, tell me your name.” The soldier replied “Alexander.” Alexander the Great said again, “Soldier what is your name?” The Soldier replied “Alexander.” Once again Alexander the Great asked, “Soldier, what is your name!?” The soldier replied “Alexander.” Alexander the Great then said, “Either change your conduct or change your name.”
I can still see in my mind's eye John Ott in front of hundreds of teenagers in his big booming voice and a finger point at us all saying, "God is standing before you having this conversation.
'Child, What is your name?'
'Christian.'
'Child, What is your name?'
'Christian.'
'CHILD, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?'
'Christian.
'Child, Either change your conduct or change your name."
Remembering the impact of that moment still gives me the chills and it is embedded deeply into who I am.
The last two days I have had the privilege of meeting with some great people whose hearts are in the right place Because of the prayers and support of so many people, they are blessing the lives of children every day, despite some challenges. Communal living is very difficult and I have heard some stories of misunderstandings and pain. Through all this I realized something pretty significant.
There are times when we can be drawn into a system that changes our behavior and cause us to be less than who God wants us to be. I have been fighting hard the past two days not to become sucked in to a system that has become dysfunctional. I want more than anything to be able to carry the name Christian with pride and to have Jesus not be ashamed of me for the ways that I treat people. And I am going to do my best to pull these folks together to destroy the old system so that we can all carry the name proudly.
During a break between a couple of the 18 meetings I've had the last two days involving personal conversations with 25 people (some of them I met with as couples) I heard this song. It's my theme song over the next several weeks as I invite people into a journey to change a system that has had the under it's hold for years. The song is called Pushing Back the Dark and it's by Josh Wilson.
One million reasons why, you shouldn’t even try
After all you’re just one heart, a single candle in the dark
And there are shadows here, feeding on your fears
That you don’t have what it takes
Who are you to make a change
But oh, oh, don’t underestimate the God you follow
Whatever you do, just don’t look back
Somebody needs the light you have
Whatever you do, just don’t lose heart
Keep on pushing back the dark
Keep on pushing back the dark
The city on a hill, it should be shining still
Every sinner saved by grace, has a purpose, has a place
Inside the bigger plan, we might not understand
But if we just keep walking on, we will see the Kingdom come, yeah
Whatever you do, just don’t look back
Oh somebody needs the light you have
Whatever you do, just don’t lose heart
Keep on pushing back the dark
Keep on pushing back the dark
(Let your lights so shine…)
Oh, oh, don’t underestimate the God you follow
He is the light that burns inside your soul
So keep on shining ’til the whole world knows
Whatever you do, just don’t look back
Somebody needs the light you have
Whatever you do, just don’t lose heart
Keep on pushing back the dark
Just keep on pushing back the dark, dark
Whatever you do, just don’t look back
Cause somebody needs the light you have
Whatever you do, just don’t lose heart
Keep on pushing back the dark
Keep on pushing back the dark, yeah
When you feel like you’re too small
To do any good at all
Like a sunrise through the window
Like a symphony crescendo
We are waking up again, we are rising from the dead
We are shining like the stars, we are pushing back the dark
Yeah, we are pushing back, pushing back the dark.
You can listen to it here:
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