What Now?

Steven Curtis Chapman (SC squared) wrote the soundtrack of my life, something I share with Jason Weber who was one of the MCs for the general session of the CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans) summit.   I can remember so many of his songs that became a huge part of me and what I was going to.  He is only a year older than I am, and he started his Christian music career very young, so he has been with me through the ups and downs of all kinds of seasons.

"My Redeemer is Faithful and True" held me up when the first guy I ever fell in love with decided not to marry me (and you can imagine, with my personality, that I was fairly intense about that marriage happening).\

"His Strength is Perfect” was a theme when I headed to take the position formerly known as “Vice President for Student Development” at the ripe old age of 25.

“For the Sake of the Call” was on repeat in my head as I contemplated walking away from my favorite job to enter the mission field four years later.

“The Great Adventure” and that whole cassette tape accompanied me to my years in Mexico.

“Burn the Ships” was playing in the background as I decided to marry a man who had decided to leave the Wesleyan Church to become a United Methodist Pastor… 

“When Love Takes You in” was so significant as we went to Guatemala twice to adopt two boys from an orphanage (In fact, that album was released literally 4 days before we left to pick up our son Jimmy)

“All I Really Want for Christmas” was a song that motivated and inspired me through many years of recruiting adoptive families for older children.

“Cinderella” was a constant backdrop to watching our two daughters grow up.

“Every Little Things You Do” was a constant reminder that providing 17 rides a day to 9 teenagers really was something that pleased God.

“The Glorious Unfolding” became real to me as I entered my second year at a hard job with Bethany that I really loved l… but had no idea where it was leading me.

And I certainly needed to hear “More Than Conquerors” during 2016 — my first and hardest year at PHFS.

And last night again it happened.  He sang a new song that I hadn’t heard yet -- the perfect song for this season in my life… a season where my free time is spent meeting CarePortal needs.  I have become aware of this whole concept so completely through CarePortal.   Jesus is all around us waiting for us to find him and asking “What now?”

We can KNOW Jesus by meeting the needs of those around us.

Here are the lyrics.

I saw the face of Jesus 
In a little orphan girl 
She was standing in the corner 
On the other side of the world 

And I heard the voice of Jesus 
Gently whisper to my heart 
Didn't you say you wanted to find Me 
Well, here I am, here you are 

So what now 
What will you do now that you've found Me? 
What now 
What will you do with this treasure you've found 

I know I may not look like what you expected 
But if you'll remember 
This is right where I said I would be 
You found me, what now? 

And I saw the face of Jesus 
Down on Sixteenth Avenue 
He was sleeping in an old car 
While his mom went looking for food 

And I heard the voice of Jesus 
Gently whisper to my soul 
Didn't you say you wanted to know me 
Well, here I am 
And it's getting cold 

So come and know 
Come and know, know me now 
Come, come and know, know me now 

Powerful, huh?

I preached yesterday .... (in a church though, not just online :-)

Saturday night my husband got pretty sick with a stomach bug and by 8:30 Sunday morning had decided he couldn’t be away from the bathroom long enough to lead worship and preach.

And there’s only one person in the world willing to do those two things with 2 hours notice.  So I quickly prepared a sermon on the text that her had chosen for the day.  (Well actually what the Revised Common Lectionary had chosen for the Ascension, but I digress.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  When he had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. While he was going and they were gazing up toward heaven, suddenly two men in white robes stood by them.  They said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”

I talked about how this season of COVID has had all of us standing still.   We have been, in essence, looking up waiting for guidance — not always from God, sometimes from the CDC and sometimes from the governor.  But we had to do a lot of standing and a lot of waiting.

I mentioned the feeling we have as parents when we look at a group of small children or a group of teenagers (who have much in common) and say “It’s time to go” and they all just look up at us and stare and don’t even start to move.

The passage above clearly states that the disciples were going to receive power and then be God’s witnesses of who He was and what He did.   And then he was lifted up and disappeared.  

And the disciples kept looking up at the sky until two men in white robes asked them why.   Why are you still looking up?

And of course, I ended it with a story about CarePortal and said, it’s time to stop looking up and start going out to be witnesses to our community — our Jerusalem — by not only what we say, by what we do.   

My final words “Let’s stop looking up…. let’s continue to come to church to learn how to go outside of our walls to BE the church.  

So I say the same thing to you.   Stop looking up — the Holy Spirit has given you power to be HIS witnesses where you are.  Now.  Today.

Extremes

The song I’m sharing today is a song that I’ve shared before …. but the one I have shared before is the tame version.

John Mark McMillan wrote the song “He Loves Us” but there are two versions out there.   In the song there’s a line about a kiss that is a simile used to describe the love connection between heaven and earth – the Father sending the Son to earth as an action of love.

David Crowder sings it with the words ‘unforeseen kiss” while Kim Walker from Jesus culture sings “sloppy wet kiss.”

There’s a lot of discussion about these two versions and some say that the “sloppy wet kiss” is too extreme.

And I got to thinking about that today and thinking about how extreme God is.    Have you read the Old Testament?

And then there’s Jesus who uses hyperbole often to make a point.   "If your hand sins against you cut it off," remember?

And think about God’s plan to redeem us.  It wasn’t an easy plan  — it was actually kind of extreme — sending his son to die a bloody gruesome death.

So…. all that to say this …

Sometimes when we are talking about crazy God-sized stuff …. extreme language may be necessary — because we don’t serve a toned-down, watered-down, insipid God.   

Now enjoy this amazing song as you envision the love connection between heaven and earth as a sloppy wet kiss.

Happy Mother's Day?

Since I took PTO on Thursday and Friday to get our taxes done (and yes, you can imagine with my personality how fun that was for me) I didn’t get a chance to share thoughts about Mother’s Day before it was over.  But I have a few so here goes.

If everything is pretty good in your world and everything lines up, Mother’s Day is a great thing.   But for many folks, Mother’s Day can be a painful day.  

It’s painful if you happen to have lived through the death of your mother.

It’s painful if you are unable to have children for one reason or another.

It’s painful if you have a distant or conflicted relationship with either your mother or one of your children.

For many folks, yesterday was a challenge at a minimum or maybe you were even crippled with depression.

In my world, mother’s day has always been hard for my kids, and thus hard for me.  Even yesterday, with my kids now being ages 22-35, there were some stressful moments.

I started my day reading a blog post I wrote in 2009 because I needed to read it to remind myself of what the day is like for my kids.  I made my own self cry when I read it.  It’s worth the click.

The bottom line is this….. God, while our Father, also has many traits of a loving mother and God is always with us.   In Isaiah 66:13 we read:  As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.   

So whether or not Mother’s Day is a positive or a negative trigger, just know that God as our mother is ready to come to us and help us.

This verse from this great hymn reminds us of this:

Praise to the Lord, who doth nourish thy life and restore thee,
fitting thee well for the tasks that are ever before thee.
Then to thy need
God as a mother doth speed,
spreading the wings of grace o'er thee.

Abide

 If we hear the word abide, we kinda know what it means … but have you ever looked it up.

The definition is to live, or to dwell, or “to continue without fading or being lost.”

Apply those meanings to this scripture:

Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.

If we live/dwell in Jesus without fading or being lost, He will do the same for us.  Isn’t that an amazing promise?

Let’s all take time to remember how amazing it is that He abides with us.

Here’s a couple old hymns that focus on this thought.  Bonus points if you’ve heard both of them.  We used to sing it at old fashioned camp meetings when I was a holiness girl in the 70s.

https://youtu.be/84YASWe3_2Q

https://youtu.be/ZdW03C1qbrA

For such a time as this...

Have you ever been told that you talk to much or that you just need to shut up?  I hear that occasionally.  I hear about being too passionate or talking about things too much.  I hear it from others and sometimes even inside my own head.  “Why can’t you just shut up?"

The story of Esther shows how one woman who said what needed to be said, saved her people.  Do you know the story of Esther?  If you don’t you should probably read it cuz it’s cool.  Basically God orchestrates it so that one person is in the right place at the right time and her saying what needed to e said woman saved her people.

One of my favorite verses is Esther 4:13 where it says “

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Wow.   God wanted to use her — and basically he was going to get the task done one way or another, but Esther is reminded that relief and deliverance could be her doing.   Her words could be the ones that made the difference.

So who around you needs relief and deliverance?  Have you been placed on the earth for such a time is this to talk…. and not stop talking … until that deliverance comes to pass?

If you’ve never heard this Wayne Watson song from back in the day (and even if you have) you should listen to it.  And it’s based on that verse from Esther.

So I won't stop talking about CarePortal or Vision 30 (check out the new website) because as long as their are children and families in our world who needing relief and deliverance, I refuse to keep silent.  

https://youtu.be/LXcJUIAJNW0

and or so that...

If you have been involved in the “child welfare space” as a Christian these words from James 1:27 have become engraved in your heart:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

These words were motivation for us as we began our foster care journey.  I mean if you’re going to have religion — it might as well be a religion that the Father accepts as pure and faultless right?  Is any other kind good enough?

The two parts of the verse seemed disconnected to me, though.  I mean what does keeping oneself from being polluted by the world have to do with looking after orphans and widows?

And then it hit me.   What if it’s because they are mutually exclusive?

If you and I are busy looking after the needs of orphans and widows — we won’t have time to become polluted by the world.  I would even go so far as to say that the fatherless — the orphan — the brokenness and pain that comes with those situations — are so close to the heart of God that if we are with those folks and walking with them in their brokenness, the world can’t polite us.   

The word fatherless or orphan is in the Bible 45 times and it is so clear how much God wants his people to step into this space.  I won’t quote all of them, but here are a couple of them:

Learn to do good;

Seek justice,

Reprove the ruthless,

Defend the orphan,

Plead for the widow.

(Isaiah 1:17)

‘Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’ (Deuteronomy 27:19)  Wow.  Storng words.  

So if it is your goal to keep yourself from being polluted by the world, look after orphans and widows.  It’s hard to allow the world to grab ahold of your heart, when you are holding a baby, or looking into the eyes of a child,  or giving a ride to a teenager knowing that you are diving into their brokenness in order to discover the heart of God.  

I shared this song and video four years ago.  I know the family in the video and this song hits me every time.   Maybe God isn’t asking you to fly across the waves and bring home a baby from a special needs orphan in China — but he may be asking you to invite a single mom and her kids over for dinner even if it means driving to pick them up in a neighborhood you try to avoid.  

Whatever he asks you to do - -I guarantee you that it will be much harder to become polluted by the world if your heart and your eyes are on the fatherless.

https://youtu.be/BBVYBYZXafI

Funk

 I've been in kind of a funk the last week or so.   I'm trying to figure out why.  I think it boils down to a few things:

1). I'm very discouraged by the fact that several of my children are dealing with their issues by either drinking or smoking weed.  The smell of marijuana is a huge trigger for me (going back to my high school days and being reinforced for the last twenty years or so) and now that is is about to be legal in Virginia the smell is everywhere.  But when it is on my property it is very troubling to me.  It makes me feel unappreciated and disrespected since we are subsidizing everyone's finances by having them here and it's one of the very few rules we have.   

In addition to me hating it, it makes me sad that instead of going to therapy and resolving the issues that lead them to needing those substances, they cover them.  It isn't going to lead to any kind of healing.

2). A few things that have happened at work (more than likely just misunderstandings) have led me to feeling as though my intentions and integrity are being questions.  And if you know me at all that is very troubling to me.

3). Life seems pretty monotonous and it has been for what?  13 months?  Not a lot of variety and not much to be excited about.  

4).   I haven't done as well with my food lately and that always messes with my mood.  Unfortunately I feel crappy when I eat crappy.

The nice thing about my personality is that I don't like myself much when I get into a funk... so I'll pull out  of it soon.

But that's how today started.

Definition of the Wicked

Check out these verses from Jeremiah 5:

For wicked men are found among my people; they lurk like fowlers lying in wait.They set a trap and they catch men.

Like a cage full of birds, their houses are full of deceit; therefore they have become great and rich; they have grown fat and sleek.

They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy.

Ok, you know me pretty well.  What words stand out to me?  See if you can guess.

Did you guess “They judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless?”

Then you were right.

Wicked men miss how important it is to God that we care for the fatherless and fight for justice for them.

That’s pure Vision 30 people.  That is what I get to do at work every day.   We are the opposite of these wicked folks.

We are all serving the fatherless — at camp, through CarePortal, in HFT every day, and definitely through the ministries of our Care Team.

Let’s not forget how important this is to God as we are blessed to be paid to care for those who are closest to the heart of God.

https://youtu.be/HA_U11B1Ss8

All Things?

I had another doozy of a morning.  Two in a row.  I won’t overshare but dang.    Today was even more stressful than yesterday.

But I heard a song on my way to work this morning that reminded me of this verse in Revelation 21:

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

And I asked myself, “All things?  Really?  Because some things it seems are going to never change.”

And yet the verse says ALL things.  Maybe not now.  Maybe not exactly how I think he should, but yes, the answer is that some day God will make ALL things new.

Maybe you needed to hear this today as much as I did.

Great song:

But God

My day has not started well.   I won’t go into details — and it’s nothing really bad — just a bunch of irritating things in a row.  Kind of like last Wednesday but I think I shut my car door this morning at least.

Check out this cool verse from Acts:

And the patriarchs, jealous of Joseph, sold him into Egypt; but God was with him  and rescued him out of all his afflictions and gave him favor and wisdom 

The story of Joseph is so cool because even though all kinds of bad things happened to him, God was with him.

So if your story is starting out bad today — or this week — or this month — little irritations or something huge and awful — remember those two words.

but God.

It may seem hopeless now… but God.

https://youtu.be/1t1mUHbFCGg

Saturdays.....

 So here's my brain dump for a Saturday morning.

Since I don't write emails to my staff with devotionals on weekends, and since I don't typically link these weekends posts to Facebook, these are posts that are similar to what I used to post 10 or 15 years ago.

But I'm not feeling too whiny today, so that might be good :-)

I'm still door dashing and learning a lot from the experience.   I like doing it because it puts me into a different category than I am usually in.  People often look at me like they feel sorry for me -- because I'm old and fat and the stairs take a long time.   I am not often in a position where people pity me.  I keep it as my secret that this isn't my only job -- because it's good for me to not feel important or significant sometimes.  Typically I just get the boys to do the running, but when I do it myself and Bart drives, it's a good exercise for me.

It also is taking us to parts of town where we have never been before and it makes me very well aware of the needs of people around me.  It also makes me feel very very grateful.   

For example, CVS now has this thing where you actually go in and shop for people and then deliver with door dash.  So I delivered baby bottles and a nose syringe (that thing you use to suck out boogers) and a pregnancy kit to section eight housing and when I met the girl she was very nice to me.  But my heart went out to her and I kind of hoped she wasn't pregnant again already.  Life is so hard for a lot of people.

It also gives Bart and I time to talk without the distractions of the other kids or grandkids or other temptations in the house.  So I'm enjoying spending time with him.  And our adventures give us stuff to think and talk about as we get to know our city better.   It's like the Amazing Race except you get paid and you don't have to scale high mountains.

I am also trying to decide how to spend my PTO.  I've been short tempered at work lately, and realizing it's probably because I should use some of those 6 weeks of PTO that I have accumulated.  I have taken about 3 or 4 days so far this year and it's almost May.  So I took of yesterday and I am taking off Monday and Tuesday, except I have a few work meetings I can't miss, so I'm not totally taking it off.

We are taking two weeks to go to Minnesota in June to see Sadie's new baby girl (going to be born in May) and to attend the wedding of Rand and Amanda who have been married for a year.  I know, I know, the complexities of COVID-19.

We are also contemplating a trip to Utah in the fall and possibly another trip somewhere else this summer. It's our 25th Anniversary and we were saving for a cruise but that doesn't seem to be on the horizon any time soon.

Our friends Mike and Kari are on their way to Virginia and we are having lunch with hem in an hour.  Pretty excited about that.

And then Jimmy wants to door dash.  He's the most fun of the kids to go with because he doesn't argue or tell me how to drive.

That's all for today!

PTO :-). or :-(

 I confess that I am not good at taking time off.  First of all, I absolutely love what I do.  So that makes it hard to walk away from my work.

Also, I do not have any thing I would rather do.  So I have to force myself to find things that I can do to get the mental break and often I'm at a loss.

My boss has intervened and insisted I take more PTO so I am taking of a few days.  

I'll get started once I get caught up on my email.  :-)

Blessed Be (and what I did last night)

Several years ago … more than ten now — I was blessed to attend a family camp for children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.   We have several kids who have this and it is really a hard, hard thing.   For no fault of their own, these people’s brains were messed up by alcohol before they were even born.   

At that camp, Jason Grey entertained us.  He’s a Minnesotan and this was before he hit the big time.  He impressed me so much with the way he handled the kids and how much the songs he shared that night were so appropriate for those kids and us as their parents.

Last night my awesome friend Kari posted the link to one of his songs on Facebook.   I read it after my family and I had just worked together to entertain a family of five who now live in James Crossing that I met through CarePortal.  She is 21, he just turned 18, and they have two babies together, one is 11 months and one is 2 weeks old.  She also has a daughter who just turned 7 that she had back when she was 14 and legally free for adopted…. except that nobody adopted her.   

We met last May through Care Portal and since then we have been through many ups and downs.  She’s been in and out of jail.  She has been in and out of the hospital.   Their relationship has been up and down.  But over time we have been there for them …. not every day ore even every week… but when they need us.   So yesterday my daughter went shopping to buy a gift for that beautiful little 7 year old.   Her car was the only one big enough for everyone, so she drove down to Greenfield Drive to pick them up.   My sons Dominyk and Wilson helped to clean the house…. and we ordered chicken from Moore’s Country Store because our son Jimmy is the cook there and he wanted to be part of things.   Our granddaughter Gabby set the table and cut the strawberries.     We had the dinner that she requested — fried chicken, homemade mac and cheese, green beans, rolls and strawberry shortcake.   And the night was complete with a JoJo Siwa outfit, complete with lots of shiny stuff on the skirt.

Tying this all back together, when I heard the song it made me remember something that my friend Patrick mentions.  God lives with the broken.   We had a great night…. I held a two week old baby.  I got to watch my kids and grandkids caring for others.  And I recognized that Jesus was at the table with us in so many ways.

The song is taken from the beatitudes in Matthew 5.   it’s so interesting to see who Jesus says are blessed.

The poor in spirit.

Those who mourn.

The weak.

The hungry and thirsty.

Wow.   The broken are the blessed.  The Losers.

Here are the lyrics to that song:

Losers
All the lovely losers
Never thought you'd hear your name
Outside
Always on the outside
Empty at the wishing well
But time will tell

Chorus:
Blessed Be
The ones who know that they are weak
They shall see
The kingdom come to the broken ones
Blessed be

Thirsty
Like you're drinking from a salt sea
But one day you'll be satisfied
Hungry
For the taste of mercy
Aching just to have your fill
One day you will

Chorus:

Not for the strong, beautiful the brave
Not for the ones who think they've got it made
It's for the poor, broken and meek
It's for the ones who look a lot like you and me

Blessed Be
Losers
All the lovely losers

https://youtu.be/1MzrLQTjNxI

I almost forgot to blog today

Very very seldom do I forget a staff devotional -- I did today.   It's been a very very busy day.

But let me tell you this....   it's been a day.

I left my car door open when I came into work and a coworker did this with the picture and sent it to everyone on staff.

It's been a day.

 

God's Still Good and He's Still Got it All In Control.

It’s #WAYTOOBUSYTuesday complete with 7 hours of pure undefiled budget crunching joy.

(OK, so we might get done early but that’s what’s on my calendar for today).

Listen to this great song.  Heard it for the first time this morning.

Peace be with You

 What kind of weekend did you have?

I hope it was relaxing…. restarting…. regenerative…. pleasant.

If it wasn’t, these thoughts may be just what you need.  And if it was, i’m sure you can relate to those whose weekend was anything but those things.  Because all of us have times when things just aren’t great.

Take the disciples for instance.

They had quite the weekend.   Friday they watched the man they had been following around for years, devoting their lives to, killed at the hand of his enemies.  They spent Saturday in shock, trying to figure out what to do.  Sunday morning some of them said they had been told he was no longer dead, and that was just weird.

That night they are in their favorite hangout and Jesus shows up.   Knowing what they had been through that weekend, what were his first words to them.

Peace be with you.

Peace.   

That was his first word.

And so regardless of what is happening in your world today, this is my first word to you.

Peace.

a couple songs that are worth the listen if your weekend was less than peaceful — externally or internally.

https://youtu.be/6kj8pzDLcc8

https://youtu.be/D73UGGK1EJE

(Note:   As is typical on Mondays, these thoughts were brought to you via a great sermon I heard yesterday :-)

the only one

I almost posted this on Facebook but it kinda makes me sound needy and like I’m begging for sympathy but I’m not. 

But I am weary of the role of being one of two people  in the world who will still love our kids no matter what happens because when they are angry I get the brunt of it.  

So .... if my only role is to be that person then I guess I’ll play it but it isn't fun. 

for the first time in my life

I am relying on tips to determine the hourly wage my boys and I get when we door dash. 

People who don’t tip are ... well I have no words to describe the feeling. 

Give to Everyone Who Asks of You

 Yup, that's a Bible verse in Luke 6:30.  Pretty intense huh?   I can already hear you saying "but what about......"

I've struggled with this verse many times in my life, particularly when living in Mexico where there were always so many folks who were asking.  Beggars on every corner, small children, single moms, homeless and distraught, asking for a few pesos.

I've also struggled with it as a clergy spouse when we are asked as a church or as a couple to give to someone who needs a hotel night's stay or a ride somewhere.   Many times we knew that there was a chance that we were being scammed but we gave anyway.

I struggle with it now whenever a CarePortal request doesn't go quite as planned because I want resources to go to people who will be able to move forward in their lives because of the gift.

But I have realized in all these situations that I might be missing the point.  What if the verse was nothing to do with the recipient and everything to do with the giver?   

What if the point is that God wants us to give because he wants us to get the blessing that comes from obedience, regardless of whether or not the recipient will do what we want them to do with the gift.

Thoughts to ponder on a Friday.

A unique prayer

 Just a short thought to share with you today.

I was in a meeting yesterday where an older pastor prayed an interesting sentence that I’m not sure I ever heard prayed before.

It reminded me of this verse in Matthew 6:8:

"your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

He said:

don't forget to give us the things for which we forget to ask...

Isn’t that a profound thought?  That God knows what we need and sometimes he give us even the things for which we forget to ask.

Keep that in mind today.

Grateful

 

This happened yesterday.  Bart's car.  Nobody injured.

He feels fine today though the experience was traumatic.

We have insurance and have a rental to drive for a while.

Everyone is safe.  Cars can be replaced... or repaired .... or fixed.   

He's the best and any thought of losing him makes panic rise in my throat.  And we're only 57.

Wonder how married couples live into their 80s and 90s wondering when they have to say goodbye? 

What do these stones stand for?

When I was in high school I had to drive a car that looked a lot like this  except it was older and uglier. By the time we got it it was at least 15 years old   It wasn’t quite as ugly as the rusty royal blue station wagon that it replaced, but harder to drive because it was a three speed with a clutch.  And before you say that I should have been lucky to have a car, please realize that the one vehicle was shared with four drivers, (my parents, my brother and I) and so most of the time I road the city bus to work.

But the car has a story.  And that story is a powerful one.

The blue station wagon died one day.  I remember sitting at the dining room table, hearing of her death.  My dad announced that the mechanic had said there was no way to fix it again.  He solemnly let us know that he wasn’t sure how we were going to get around because there was no money for a new car.  (My parents lived on a very small income and always prioritized tithe and giving to mission BEFORE groceries, so we often didn’t have meat with our meals during weeks where there was a surprise expense (but they never missed paying their tithe and the missionaries always got the monthly pledge)

After my dad’s announcement, my mom said, “Well kids, I guess we’re just going to have to ask God for a car.  And my dad, as he often did, said in his prayer that night, “We commit our ways to thee now.”

The very next day my mom got a call from former neighbors.  They said to my mom, “I’m not sure why, but I think God was leading me to ask you if you want the car we have in our back yard.  It runs fine, but we don’t need it any more and we will sell it to you for a dollar.”

Check out this story from Joshua 4 (EXV)

Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel,  that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’  then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”

In Scripture this kind of monument was referred to as an Ebenezer, now defined as a "commemoration of divine assistance”.  It’s something we point to when it’s time to remember what God has done.

The old 3 speed clutch car became one of the many Ebenezers of my childhood.   Many times when we were running into hard times, someone would say, “Remember, God when gave us a car for a buck?”

In essence we would ask the question “what do these stones mean to you” and our parents would tell of all the things God had done for us.

Do you have an Ebenezer but didn’t know it?  Take a minute to look back today on something you can point to when your friends, or your kids or grandkids wonder if God can do as he promised.  

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I've come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home

https://youtu.be/EYrTqBioaZ4

Don't be alarmed!

Even after all of the Easter sermons I have heard over the years, until yesterday when an excellent preacher I know helped this thought to stand out to me,

In Mark 16, the women come to the empty tomb and find a man dressed in white who says:

Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.  But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee.”

If you consolidate the first message given by what we assume was an angel to the distraught women who found the empty tomb, here is the message.

Don’t be afraid — he is going ahead of you.

Whatever you are facing today, don’t be afraid.  He is going ahead of you.

so you have soup in your bedroom?

I just noticed that we do.  Tucked on a shelf near medications, books and boxes of Q tips are two cans of soup. 

Why? You ask.  Because Bart likes soup. And if it is in the kitchen someone will eat it.  Or possibly someone will pour it into a bowl, stick it in the microwave and then leave for work without remembering they were going to eat.  

so  yeah.  We have soup in our bedroom. 

time off

I really stink at it.  Everything non work related was done by 9 am.  Now I have a whole day ahead of me.  Books and Netflix I guess.  

Why in the world would I Door Dash?

I know.  It's weird.   I have a very fulfilling full time job and I don't have to door dash.  So why am I doing it?  What do I like about it?

Well, first of all, I am not doing it alone.  So it gives me windshield time with those who go with me.  It's kind of like immersion therapy or whatever it's called.  If I am with them for extended periods of time I get more acclimated to their thought patterns and they drive me less crazy than if I am only with them periodically. This may not make sense, but it is working.

Secondly, the money they are earning often ends up paying back debt to us -- at least that's a theory.

There are other reasons I'm enjoying it aren't connected to who I do it with.

It has stats.  I love stats.  I love seeing what my percentages is and the challenge of doing it right.  I know, weird, huh?

I also am reminded to be grateful that I have transportation and can easily go pick up whatever I want or need.  A lot of the folks who use door dash don't.

And it humbles me to serve others.  Bart and I had 45 minutes to kill this morning before delivering a CarePortal item, so he drove and I door-dashed.  There was a woman who lives in subsidized housing who had ordered a burger, fries and coke.  Timing worked out perfectly so I was 20 minutes early and the food was nice and hot.      I could tell that she was really looking forward to it -- that it may have been the highlight of the day.   She was so pleased that it was both early and warm.   I told her it was goign to be good -- that I had watched them make it and it was nice and fresh.  She thanked me for being early.  I was gracious and kind to her and I smiled under my mask and wished her a great day.

She could have had a crabby driver with a bad attitude that could have messed it up.  But I wanted her to feel special today.  

I'm also learning a lot more about the city I live in and how to get around in it.  I think Lynchburg is complicated, so it's nice to start putting it together.

Finally, I don't always have a lot to do lately.   Bart is very busy with all kinds of things, I"m trying really hard not to work all the time -- and it's a nice diversion.  I am a little behind on some TV, but I can catch up.

Bart says I like it cuz it's new.  And that's probably true.  I probably won't like it forever.  But right now I"m in line to be a TOP DASHER and if anyone is going to tell me I'm a top anything, I'm going to be excited!

I know.  I know.  I'm kinda nuts.

For you

 Let’s say you’re walking toward the building and I say — “let me get the door for you.”   it means two things, right?

It means — let me do that for you as a gift — a gift for you —

and let me do it in place of you — or so you don’t have to.

Or, the same thing holds true if you are trying to follow a food plan and there is, hypothetically speaking,. a Cadbury egg on your desk and I were to say, “Let me eat that for you” it would mean two things.

It means i’m doing this for you, as a favor, so you don’t go off your food plan and I am eating it for you, in your place, so you don’t have to.

Doesn’t this apply as we approach Good Friday and think of the sacrifice Jesus made for us?

Not only did it die for us — as a gift, but he died for us — in our place, so we don’t have to.

A profound act, a matchless gift, the ultimate game changer.   

Lead Me

 How many times have you asked God to lead you?  When you do do you have a specific destination in mind?

I must confess that when I ask God to lead, I’m hoping he leads me to cool stuff.   Blessings, joy, peace.

These verses from Philippians 3 always reframe that for me:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

The end sounds great right?   Attaining the resurrection from the dead!

But wait a minute….. what about that suffering stuff?   Is that what we signed up for?  Actually.  It is.  

Paul is clearly says that he wanted to KNOW Jesus and the power of his resurrection, but realized that in order to do so he had to share his sufferings and become like him in his death.

As we head toward Good Friday and remember Jesus suffering, are we brave enough pray that God would lead us to the cross?

What are you Standing on?

My Tuesdays at work are always jam packed with meetings pretty much back to back from 9 to 4:30.   So I call it #TooBusyTuesday and all I put in my devotional emails is a song.

Here's today's song:

But I also mentioned that I kind of wanted to write a devotional from Deuteronomy 25:11-12 but I didn't.

What's your response?

 I know you know this verse from Psalm 118:

This is the day which the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it.

But do you know what verse comes right before it?  I didn’t remember, that’s for sure.

This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.

And what is the context?  What did the Lord do that was marvelous in the eyes of the psalmist?

Thank you that you have answered me and have become my salvation. The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone

It’s always so cool to look at the progression of events that lead to the verse we remember.   God answered David.   He became his salvation and his cornerstone.

He sees this as marvelous in his eyes — and his response?  To rejoice in each day that the Lord has made.

What is our response to what God has done for us?

If you only want to listen to one song today, check out this great one from the year I graduated from college before some of you were alive.

https://youtu.be/IKnbQx0IfKc

Or, if you’d like to spend some time listening to songs that pertain to this passage, I created a playlist just for us for Psalm 118

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtoZdaTOetnOeRk9WFBFsyswNnyXhHuYI

a one day vacay

Bart and I went to Richmond for the night.  I had one work meeting and we paid for a nice hotel.  Had dinner with some amazing new friends last night 

This morning we did a little shopping... had lunch with an old friend ... and now we are heading home. 

A break from the routine was nice and so far we haven’t heard that the kids burned the house down. 

I’d call that a win.  

If I told you

I was door dashing...

I guess you wouldn't care.

Let me tell you why.

I'm just the driver and I bring a kid with me.  It allows them to make more money and I get a little for the vacation fund for Bart and I.

Unintended consequence?  Better relationships with these kids that have been driving me crazy.  At least so far.

Back in the Saddle Again

 Finally, after a LOOOOOOOONG year, I get to speak in person a couple times in the next few months.  If you live anywhere close I'd love to see you in the audience!

I get to do this

and...

I want to personally invite you to join me at this upcoming retreat for foster and adoptive parents.  You pour so much into your children, and I know this will be a very meaningful time for us to gather with other parents and be refilled in the Lord's presence.  We are planning a very special experience and I don't want you to miss it.

Are you weary from the trials of the last year and 

parenting children from hard places?

Join us in May for 

Renew Retreat!

This gathering has been created by and for parents like you!

Come for a time of rest, reflection and renewal!

• Special experiences for dads and moms
• Single parents welcomed and encouraged
• Inspiring speakers, new friends, free coffee and even comedy!

Secure your spot now for early bird pricing!

(ends April 1st)

 

Certificate of Training will be provided to all attendees

https://renewretreat.org/

My month in Costa Rica

You may know this — you may not — but from age 28-30 I was a missionary in Mexico.  They were great years and I learned so much about life, the universe and everything.   (42)

Before I could go to Mexico I had to go to language school in Costa Rica, which is, by the way a gorgeous country.   But I had just left my job as the equivalent of a college vice-president, and that role had completely defined me.   

Suddenly I was in a brand new country, surrounded by a language which I didn’t know very well  (Just so you know, 2 years in Jr. High, 2 years in High School, and 2 years of college classes does not equal being able to speak a language)  The host family I had was weird — the program I was in allowed language students to stay with these families who were supposed to give them a feel for the country.  This family was doing it for the money, obviously.   They had me stay in their dead daughters room which had remain untouched as a shrine to her (creepy huh) and she was a collector of owls — so I was surrounded by owls.   They never ate with me — she fixed me a meal and set it on the table and then went into a another room.  She and her husband ate, I suppose, but I never knew when because I never saw them eat.

Making matters worse, the other people in my class were not there to learn Spanish to be missionaries — they were there to party.  They were cruise ship folks and business folks whose companies were paying for them to be in Costa Rica for a month and they were having fun!   But their definition of fun was rocking my holiness world.  So I kept to myself.  Which is NOT me.  

So I went from being on a Christian campus with an important role where I worked from 7 am to 10 pm and ate all my meals in the dining commons surrounded by college students …. to eating alone in another country surrounded by nothing but my own thoughts and retired to a room where owls that stared at me while I slept.  

I had no role.  I had no idea who I was any more.  I wasn’t important, aI had no friends, I wasn’t a daughter or a sister or a friend or a Dean of Students or a Sunday School teacher or even a missionary yet.  I was nothing but me.   And I realized I had no idea who I was.  

Three weeks into my stay I discovered that there was a Nazarene Seminary within taxi distance of where I was staying.   I went there to visit and felt like I had come home.   I only made two visits there, but the people welcomed me so warmly and blessed me so much..

One of the missionary couples had a couple of kids and they invited me hear them sing at their Christian school choir concert.  In the midst of that concert, they sang this song — in English even.  

Step by step you lead me, and I will follow you all of my days.   

A sense of calm swept over me and I realized that at that moment, I didn’t need to know WHO I was if I always could remember WHOSE I was.   God had me — step by step.  And he would lead me to the next phase of my journey — and the next — and the next — and that I didn’t need to know what that looked like if I knew HE was in control.

Fast forward thirty years and It’s still true.   Looking over those years he has been there, every step, leading, guiding, preparing me for the next thing.  I am confident that he will do that for me as I approach uncertain years ahead.  

 If you are my age, you can look back and see that as well.   If you are the age I was then, you can COUNT on the fact that he will do the same for you.

I heard this song this week that has the same message:

https://youtu.be/02RHzc_w6cs

Obtain the prize

Ever get frustrated about the state we are in as a nation or even humankind in general?  In Matthew 24 it sounds like Jesus was talking to us in 2021

At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Each of us has our own way of defining standing firm, but it is clear that that is the secret to our salvation.  This is a marathon, not a sprint — life is a long, hilly race with distractions and pitfalls and detours.   It is lived out in the daily struggle, all the while standing firm.

Remember the hymn “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand?”  We stand firm — on Christ the SOLID rock, and do that to the end.   That’s the key.

In 1 corinthians 9 we read, " Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.”

Whichever metaphor you prefer — standing firm, or running the race to obtain the price — it’s the endurance, or as my mom would stay, the stick-to-itiveness, that takes us where we need to go.

So whether your day to day calls you to stand firm — or to run with all your might — do it so that in the end a prize is yours — your very salvation.

My daughter Sadie (who is expecting grandchild #10 (a girl) in May, sent me this song.  I hadn’t heard it.  And I love it!

Hope it blesses you today:

Whew

 Sat through a day of National CarePortal Meetings.

I'm tired.

It was awesome.

I love it more every 

single

day.

Only a few items left on this list and we will have everything.  Tomorrow night I get to meet with the caregiver and tell her all we're doing for her.

Here's the context:

https://www.careportal.org/open-requests/61648/request/

Here's the wishlist!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/HKY50QHUP8Z4?ref_=wl_share

A willing spirit

How would you describe your spirit?  Does it change from day to day?  Or is it pretty consistent? 

Remember David …. the man after God’s own heart … that did horrible awful thing like sleep with another man’s wife and then orchestrate her husbands death?

Yeah, he screwed up big time (no pun intended).   

In Psalm 51 he confesses his sin to God.  He reminds God of how he was shaped in iniquity and sin — and truly asks God for forgiveness…. he repents and asks for a clean heart.

Then in verse 12 he says:

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Maybe there is no particular order to these two things …. and that  David was recognized instead that these two things are intertwined — if joy is restored we have a willing spirit.   Or if we have a willing spirit, joy is naturally restored.

Thoughts to ponder on a Monday.

And here are two great songs to get that joy pumping through your soul today….

https://youtu.be/yOEviTLJOqo

(by the way, if my kitchen looked like that when I was going to start the dishes, I’d be happy too!   And it’s a good thing nobody is my office cuz me singing with my earbuds in has got to be atrocious!)

https://youtu.be/-GjW1pSYgUk

Sometimes when you blog every day....

 You don't have a ton to say.  Actually, I always have way too much to say, but deciding what to say on any given day is tricky.

Salinda and Mike and the kids are in Florida.  They left at midnight last night and went have arrived at Disney World.  They are meeting friends there.  The kids were SO EXCITED that they were bouncing around everywhere yesterday.  Makes me happy to see them so happy.

Dominyk has lost about 120 pounds.  He finally let him take his picture today -- unbelievable how different he looks.  His food plan involves lots of weed and energy drinks, but hey... he looks great.  The one seated was 5 years ago.... the one of him standing is this morning.  Crazy huh?

It's Leon's birthday.  I love him so much and am so proud of him.  We know have 3 children who are 26.... hard to believe.  He moved in with us a few months before turning 13.... and has brought us so much joy.   He has found a lovely girl to marry and they do so well together.  We couldn't be happier for them.

Looks like Rand and Amanda might finally get to have a wedding even though they were married last June in her parents back yard.  This means a trip to Minnesota in June.

Mercedes is due with a baby girl end of May so we will get to see grandchild number 10 within weeks of her birth.   I thought about going for the birth -- but I think I'd just get in the way.

I am thinking about doing something extreme with my diet in April and trying Dr. Nowzardan's diet.  I find myself being so critical of the folks who can't follow it I thought maybe I should try and see if I can do it before I keep acting like they are pathetic that they can't.  1200 calories a day isn't much.  Still pondering that.

CarePortal remains forefront in my mind all the time because it's awesome.  But you know that because I talk about it all the time.

There you go -- my brain dump for today!

No More #DoIt4TheKidsDay ... Here's why

For the last 4 years, I have been involved in what we called "Do it For the Kids Day."   It started in 2017 with a bang -- we raised about $50,000.  I raised over $10 myself.  I was able to walk 3.2 miles that day.  It was really cool.

The next few weren't so cool.  Not as many people were interested or participated.  We raised less.  I refused to call it over.  This past year I was the only one who did it and raised $5K.  I'm glad I did because we needed it to launch CarePortal in a couple more counties, but it wasn't as fun alone.

Plus I think my friends are weary of it all.

That doesn't mean, however, that I don't want to give people opportunity to participate in giving back to the the things I care about.   So.....

Do you have a few minutes and a few dollars to bless a foster parent who will need a lot of support to transition a 10 year old out of foster care?

This story tugs at my heart because this kid needs a chance to make it in a family setting so this caregiver needs all the help she can get. She and I are going to dinner on Wednesday so I can be a support to her.

There are lots of ways you can support her and the child with both time (locally) or resources (from anywhere)

You can read more here and give on the CarePortal:

Or you can click on the wish list we created in amazon.

Or if you'd rather you can just Venmo or CashApp or PayPal or Facebook Message me the $.

I'd love to blow this woman away with YOUR generosity!