Or "Is it good? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary? if not, don't say it. Or, better put in the Four Way Test of Rotary that we should use to evaluate what we say:
- Is it the truth?
- Is it fair to all concerned?
- Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
- Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
or how about the rule about not assuming..... or about erring on the side of grace, believing the best in others, and giving people the benefit of the doubt?
This is a rough season for me. There are four situations in particular where I cannot defend myself. I cannot explain. I cannot say a word publicly And I wonder what assumptions are being made about me. I hear rumors of what people are saying about me but I can't explain any of it.
And in all of those situations, there is really a lot more to the story. Further more, I don't have choices. People are assuming that I am making decisions, that I am choosing to do certain things, and yet, I'm not. The choice is not with me.
As you know I'm not overly sensitive, but I am frustrated enough tonight to remind all of us not to talk about people if we haven't talked to them. To remind us that when we assume, we should clarify directly with the source before passing those assumptions on. And finally to remind each of us that Grace Wins Every Time.
I don't care all that much about what people think -- I had to give that up a long time ago. We have had to move beyond that as our children have made choices over the years. But others aren't as resilient or as strong, and we need to protect others from the pain by following these rules.
My way of dealing with all of this through the past few months has been is to check my own motives, make sure I am extending forgiveness and grace, and ask the Holy Spirit to correct me where I need to be corrected. And I've been reminded to make sure that as I'm making assumptions about others that I don't repeat them as truth.
Maybe the purpose of all this (if there is one) is for me to check myself and remind myself to treat others the way I want to be treated.
I don't know if this was helpful to anyone -- but I didn't write it for you. I wrote it for me. Is that OK?