This morning I confess to feeling quite resentful. Setting boundaries with our adult children is such a very hard thing. And their assumptions that we are the place where there are interest free loans that really won't be paid back are getting on my last nerve. Three of our adult kids in the last 3 weeks have needed money for something and while being gracious seems like the right thing to do sometimes, after a while I start to get really frustrated.
I know what I should do. I should cut them all off and let them sink or swim. But when there are grandkids involved, it gets to be a bit different. And when the economy doesn't even have jobs for grown men with college degrees, expecting my felons to find steady work is a bit tricky.
And yet it is there decisions that got them where they are. In fact, it is doing the exact opposite of what I recommended that got them to the tough spot they are in.
I hate wrestling with these questions because I used to have such wonderful answers in my own head about how this was going to work. But each situation is different.
I think I'm going to have to develop a contract for one kid in particular about what the expectations are for them and what the limits are to what we will do.
the whole thing is quite ironic actually, because we spent their childhoods teaching them that they had to earn everything and now that they are adults they don't believe they do. Weird.
Can you tell I"m sick of battling this issue? And it's not even like I need advice. I already know what we should do... it's just doing it that's hard.