On Being a Pastor's Wife....

Growing up in pastor's home, you'd think the last thing I'd want to do is marry a pastor, but I can't tell you how grateful I am to have made that choice.

I'm going to take a little trip down memory lane ...

When we were engaged I 1995 I drove out to the little town of Belgrade to spend the weekend there.  Bart had two churches, and they were both pretty small.  I stayed overnight with a couple of the dearest people ever -- Rodney and Adele Peterson.  They were in their 80s.   I would drive up and hang out with Bart at the parsonage where he lived (I was still working and living two hours away).  I would then, around 9:30, head over to Rodney and Adele's and we would watch reruns of Cheers. Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.   I stayed until Monday morning really early and then would leave and drive back to my office to start another work week.   While the congregations were small, there were many amazing people there who we loved very much.  We were married in 96 and started foster care.  By 1999 we had seven children (all of them adopted or heading there) and we moved to Luverne.

We have loved every place we lived, but Luverne was the best time in our families life.  We moved there when our youngest was 3 and our oldest was 13.   Our kids grew up there.  We stayed until our oldest was 29 and in college and our youngest was 10.   We had so many great friends there.  After church on Sundays we would gather up whoever wanted to come and head across the street for lunch at Pizza Ranch, sometimes having as many as 30 people in the back room.  We had Sunday night picnics in the park as a church almost every weekend of the summer.  We led the beginning of a second worship service.  We watched so many soccer and little league baseball games, developed relationships with a great school system and its teachers (it was literally a block away).   There were several families with kids the same age and we parented together.  Many of kids still think of Luverne as "home" even though we haven't lived there for 15 years.   

We then moved to Mankato.  What a great church and what great people!  Our season of life?  Not so great.  This was our time of raising a LOT of teenagers who made a LOT of bad choices.  This was also when I started blogging.  Our years in Mankato were all reported daily on the blog.   What a ride that was. But the whole way through there were these amazing people at our church who supported us no matter what.  Some of them are now in heaven... like my friend Sue who I miss every day.  This was also the time when we lived a couple miles from Mike and Kari who were and are some of the best friends we've ever had.   We hung out together almost every weekend for years.  

Then came Robbinsdale.   We moved to a smaller house intentionally, taking only 3 kids with us and telling them (jokingly of course) not to tell their siblings our address.  But by the time we left there we were living with 8 children and 2 grandchildren in a 2400 sq. ft. house with only 2 bathrooms.   But in the back drop of all the young adult drama was our church.  I was able to play in the band "Testify" -- one of the highlights of my life.   We had a women's group that met every Saturday morning and those women walked through so much crap with me.   The call from a guy in Virginia (accompanied with a call from God) took me away from all that support.

And then we came to Danville to a church full of really good people.   The most devastating event of our lives happened there, and yet so many of those folks jumped in to support us during really hard times.   We met, loved, and buried our dear dear friends, Tom and Betty, people Bart never wanted to bury.   While we knew it was time to move on, those who loved and supported us there became a part of who we are.

Now we are in a church similar in size to the first one Bart pastored.  And there you will find amazingly kind and loving people who are loyal to each other and to their church and appreciative and not critical of their pastor.  What a huge blessing.

Each Sunday of the last 25 years (with very few exceptions) I have helped Bart prepare for worship in one way or another and have gotten kids ready to head to church.   While there we have been loved, supported, and treated well by hundreds of people who have become part of who we are.   We have walked with them during the highest points of their lives and they have done the same with us.   

I've always seen my life as a tapestry -- one woven by the people and experiences I have had.  And the members of our churches have been a constant source of love, joy and support in this tapestry -- strong, vivid colors representing meaningful relationships.

While many assume that this role is a difficult one, I've never seen it as such.  It's an honor -- a privilege -- a blessing to be allowed to be so interwoven with such a diverse group of God's people that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So... if you are one of those people, thank you for blessing us so much.   Our lives are what they are because of you!

Saturday ramblings that don't make it to Facebook

So on Monday through Friday I typically post a devotional and link it to my Facebook.  On Saturdays and Sundays I'm trying to still blog but not link it -- and then I feel a little bit more free because my kids provably won't come here on their own.  I don't know, maybe they do.  I try not to name them anymore like I used to when they were little, but I still have my own set of frustrations and struggles as a person because of my situation.   I'm not done being a person full of failures and complaints, that's for sure.

Isn't it funny that no matter how good we have it, we still can find things to be irritated about?  Now that's a devotional I may have to expound on at some point.

I think about it and I get frustrated with myself.  I have a job that I love with coworkers who are dear friends.  I live in a beautiful home that has a master bedroom/bathroom where I can go and pretend I'm in a hotel (in fact, we don't often stay in a hotel as nice as our own home, which has never been true).  For the most part the kids don't track me down to annoy me hourly like they used to.  I have grandchildren who pop up and see me on a regular basis.   

But watching my husband prepare a meal for hours and then having nobody willing to do the dishes (even though we pay to have them done) and see that some can't even take their own dishes to the sink is super annoying.   Or having someone tell us they need a ride to work early in the morning and not let us know until after we are up and ready to take them that they aren't working after all.  Or planning all day to eat leftovers I've saved for myself because I have a restricted diet... and finding someone ate it even though it was in a container clearly marked "MOM."  I could go on.

So I have to tell myself that we are all healthy, that all of the adults in our home are working and paying rent, that some of them are doing the best they can with what they have.  And I remind myself that keeping my mouth shut so we don't have a house full of conflict which my peace-loving husband despises is more important than people not doing the dishes.  He won't let me do them -- he just does them quietly himself.  

Instead of trying to change things, I have now come to a point that I have to figure out how to live with the choices we have made.   It's not always easy.

I haven't kept up with a lot of adoptive parents whose kids are now all adults.  I wonder if they have empty nests.  I wonder if they have moved into a new phase of life or if they are still living with all this junk in their lives.  I wonder if they have been able to overcome the resentment and frustration and are able to focus on the good things.

I sure hope so.

Easy or Hard?

We all have different things that are easy for us and other things that are hard.  #MathIsHard has become a slogan of sorts at my work because of our beloved leader’s propensity for computation errors.    But for some people (thanks be to God!) math is easy… fun even.

In listening to Leviticus this month, I kept concluding that following the law must have been hard.   But this morning I heard this passage from Leviticus 24:19-20  that made me think maybe I had been looking at it the wrong way.

Anyone who injures their neighbor is to be injured in the same manner: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. The one who has inflicted the injury must suffer the same injury.

Folks, that is easy.  It makes sense.  You punch me, I punch you.   It is very clear and easy to understand.  in fact much of the law makes a lot of logical sense.  It is always consistent, always “fair”, and there is no room for any grey in it.   That’s easy.

Now check out these words from Jesus in Matthew 5:38-39:

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

Now that’s hard.  Harder than obeying a set of rules, is offering grace and mercy, gentleness, patience.   Human nature gravitates toward a law that says “people get what they deserve”.   The law is easy…. it’s grace that’s hard.

On my way to work this morning I heard something interesting on Spirit FM   (yes, I know, it’s WFH Friday and I am at the office but it's because I have to do a training and I have an adult son who is known for suddenly and without provocation screaming curse words and I couldn’t worry about that as I’m making my debut as a Strategic Partner expert in the Lynchburg community, so I’m here).  But I digress :-)

The DJ was talking about Rosa Parks and how easy it would have been to just get up and move to the back of the bus.   But she chose the hard thing because the hard thing was the right thing.

My message to myself and to you is:  Choose the hard thing because it’s the right thing.   Choose grace.  

I just found this song today. It’s not “Christian” but it’s beautiful.  If you haven’t heard it or even if you have, it’s worth listening to in light of today’s Scripture.  And hey…. it even starts with math!

God's Got it Covered

Have you ever had something click in your head -- that you had thought about before and never really understood?  

I gotta confess that Leviticus is a pretty tough book to get through when you’re committed to reading though the Bible in a year. All those laws… which had a point — to show us that we needed Jesus — but I digress…. are exhausting to read.  (Now that was a well put together sentence…. not)

After chapters about the difference in the kinds of leprous spots and skin diseases yesterday, check out this command in Leviticus 23 that I read this morning:

‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.’”

Think about it.  The “poor” have always been around.  Reasons for poverty looked a little different I’m sure.  Most of the poor in Lynchburg, for example, are not poor because a strom ruined their crops or a coyote killed their sheep.  Jesus even said “you will always have the poor among you” when Mary was chastised for pouring nard on his feet.   But again, I digress.

The thing is - God always had a plan for the poor.  It was his people who were not facing hard times that were called upon to leave their extra for the others  He had a plan for the poor — and it was His people.

God still has a plan for the poor, and it is us.   

I wasn’t intending to share this, but its pretty powerful.   

My brother passed away last April after years of battling alcoholism and related health issues.   He never really talked about faith until a few years ago — having definitely taken off like the prodigal son as soon as he turned 18.  He stayed in good relationship with my parents, but wasn’t really connected with God until about 4 years ago.

Most of the emails and letters he sent me over the years were hilarious - full of his antics.  He was a great people person.   But as I was goign through old emails in my personal account trying to save them or delete them, I realized this is the last email he sent to me:

My mother send me a birthday gift that was a nice thought and a gift that you made happen through the internet. I’ve come to appreciate the gift.

It is a book that includes the 120 daily readings from "Breakfast with Billy Graham." Whatever you think of Billy Graham himself, these daily readings can be inspiring

This is the reading from my upcoming birthday on day 87 - if I did my math right, that’s the 87th day of the year. Here is the reading :

Why the Statue Had No Hands

The most eloquent prayer is often prayed through hands that heal and bless. One of the highest forms of worship is unselfish Christian service. We need fewer words and more charitable works. We need less talk and more pity, less creed and more compassion . . .

Doctrine is important. But the Bible teaches also the importance of doing the things our Lord Jesus commands.

In the City of Strasburg, Germany, is a church that was bombed during World War II. It was totally destroyed, but a statue of Chirst which stood by the altar was almost unharmed. Only the hands of the statue are missing.

The people of the church rebuilt their sanctuary, and the sculptor offered to make new hands to attach to the arms of the statue. But after considering the matter, the people decided to let the statue be, without hands. They said, “Christ has no hands but ours to do his work on earth. If we don’t feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, entertain the stranger, visit the imprisoned and clothe the naked, who will?”

Christ is depending on us to do the things that he did while he was on earth.

My brother’s last message to me was about the importance of being Christ’s hands on earth. Oh the irony and the blessing this is.

I wanted to play this song this morning …. so instead of looking for it somewhere else, why not listen to it and see some CarePortal slides in the background?  But instead of viewing this as a recap of CarePortal, listen to the words and see how God’s plan from the beginning of time was for His people to care for the poor.  And it was the plan for us as Jesus’ followers to be his hands and feet.  Even my brother Nate had that figured out at the very end of his “wayward” life.

https://youtu.be/JlPkaFPKfgA

And in case you want to know a way to do so check out careportal.org and sign up.   Or just check out the open requests and meet one.  Such a cool thing to be part of!

Some Day....

In talking to my mom last night I realized that there is a point for all of us when more of the people that we love are in heaven than remain here on earth.    The list of people I can’t wait to see there is growing by the week.  

Those of you who are older than me are probably going to laugh at the thought that turning 57 bothered me.  But for some reason it seems awfully close to 60 which seems old.  Between that and COVID I have been thinking about my own mortality and the mortality of people around me a lot more than I ever have.

Part of the reason that we age is because we start to long to be done with our earthly bodies.  While my mom is not miserable, her spirits are high, just living through the day is an incredible challenge.  A very independent person (can you imagine me being raised by someone strong and determined?) she now has to have help even to turn over in bed.

Check out I Corinthians 15:42-44: 

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power;   it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.

Our earthly bodies are perishable and are full of weakness and dishonor — but we have something to look forward to — resurrection …. A spirit that is imperishable, raised in glory and power… a new spiritual body.

That’s the good news folks.   So a couple of songs that have been at the forefront of my mind lately are about heaven.

We shall see all of our faith made known — we shall see Jesus someday.

https://youtu.be/E9cQy-SZN-0

And I want to hear the angels sing their song!

https://youtu.be/6MKQ1Fz1q3w

 

That's not who I am!

I am not naturally full of mercy or grace or kindness or compassion.   It's just not me.  It's not my personality.  It's not my tendency.   It's not my go to.  It's really not who I am.   And I use that excuse more often than I should.  After a morning like this one,  I needed to hear this song today and I need to pray for this daily... that I would be...

A little more like mercy‚ a little more like grace
A little more like kindness‚ goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience‚ a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, a little less like me

 

Because He Trusted

Ever been in a really tough situation?  One that seemed impossible and when you were convinced you could never come through unharmed?

If anyone felt that way it was Daniel.   As he was heading into the lion’s den he probably had a lot of ideas about this was going to go.  But don’t you love how that story ends?  "So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no kind of harm was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.”

No kind of harm was found on him!  Even in the midst of lions, he was unscathed.     In the NLT, the verse reads "Not a scratch was found on him”.

Trust in God that whatever you are going through — even if you are surrounded by lions — that you can leave this situation without any evidence of harm or even a scratch!

 

does this count?

So.... if I forgot to blog while I was at my desk and just type a few words from my phone does it still count as blogging?

I think so.  And I’m in a mood.  So it probably means I spared you.  😀😀

Resentful anyone?

Apparently this has been a theme of this blog.  When I did a search through the history of the blog it came up with many hits.  Too many. 

I thought that maybe going through and reading those posts and listening to my own lectures and sermons might make me feel less resentful, but to be honest, it didn't.  It just made me crabbier because I realized that the same things I was dealing with 10 years ago are still problems.  Adult children borrowing money and not paying it back.  Adult children unable to hold down a job.  Adult children driving my car and going places I didn't authorize or doing things they aren't supposed to in it (the smell of weed is such a trauma trigger!).    Things like this were making me angry ten years ago and while some of the adults from that scenario are replaced by adults that were in middle and high school then, it's the same stuff that makes me crazy.

We struggle to pay bills and when they get paid they have money for things I would never buy.

Like I old one of my sons a few weeks back:  When you were 10 and you acted like this I was 37.  I had plenty of energy to argue through things with you, try to solve things, and attempt to give you some wisdom to follow.  When you acted like this when you were 20 it was frustrating.  I was 47 and I had way less energy to deal with your mind games and manipulation.  Now you're 30 and I am 57 and I just don't have it in me.  I can't do it.

I am sure that there are those of would say, "you don't have to let them live with you."  And yes, that is true.  But unless you know the guilt of making someone you love homeless who really can't make it on their own, then you don't know exactly where we are coming from.  It's easier said than done.

So even though 20 years ago and 10 years ago I bounced back easier and pushed forward with more determination, I am struggling to figure out what a 57 year old does with all the manipulation and lies.  My conclusion has been to spend time alone, not talk much, and try to not ask questions.

It's hard for people to lie to you if you don't ask them questions.

I fear this is going to be a daily battle for me.   It has been for twenty years, but maybe I wasn't being very rational when I assumed that some day I would get over it.  I figured by now I would be more mature I guess.

So, for those of you who came here for answers and not just to hear me whine, I quote myself from a post in November of 2010.

Sometimes resentment can fuel us into holding a firm line. But when our kids are confused and hurting, grace kicks in. And then it gets all muddled up.

If i can let the resentment go, if I can stop asking how it makes me feel, and start to focus on them and how I can help them, they have such messes that I can't even sort them out.

The problem is that once I put forth a bunch of energy to figure out how to help, they often change their minds and head off in a direction different than one I can recommend.

Today I wrote another chapter of my book (which may explain why I am not blogging as much). I decided that maybe I should start sharing a snippet of the book in my blog posts so that I can at least give you something to read....

So here is a quick segment from the chapter called "Tell Yourself the Truth" In fact, in writing that chapter I've decided to expand that topic for my next book. I am finding writing pretty fun lately.

It’s not about me. I have had to remind myself of this every day as a parent, wife, and friend. The moment that I begin to focus on myself and why things aren’t going my way is the moment things start to unravel. Feelings like irritation, frustration, annoyance, bitterness and resentment begin to trickle in and they slowly poison me until my heart starts to harden.  

I am not advocating a mindset that says that I am not worth any of my own attention or that taking care of myself is not important. But I am saying that recognizing that it isn’t all about me keeps my head on straight.  

Most of us put others first naturally as a result of our love for them. We might give a piggy back ride to a toddler even if our back hurts, or a ride to a teenager even though we have a deadline on a project. We cook meals when we have upset stomachs and don’t feel like eating. We attend band concerts of 7th graders whose instruments are screeching with errors and smile and clap even though on the inside (which we would never confess to anyone) we are bored senseless after the third number and the music is giving us a headache. This is just what we do because we love our kids.


But when we begin to focus on ourselves life becomes an incredible burden. When we begin to perform acts of love from another part of us they become acts of duty or acts of fear (if I don’t do this, will my family leave me). At this turning point, when what we do stops being about our love for others, and we start to dwell on our own needs, we start to lose our ability to cope.

If your focus is a bit off today, it’s easy to realign it. Remind yourself that love is selfless. It’s not about you. Love is about giving without expecting to receive in return. C.S. Lewis taught that we should not wait until we felt like loving before we began to act lovingly, because the loving acts would bring about loving feelings. Try it sometime and see if it doesn’t turn things around.

And in case you were wondering, yes, I did publish that book, and yes there are some under my bed in storage right now if you want one :-)

Have a great weekend!

It depends on who gets there first

Ever known someone who desperately wanted to come to God or to come back to him but was really afraid?  

Let’s go back to the prodigal son again in Luke 15.  You know the story.   Dude gets dad’s money and takes off to “sow his wild oats.”  Spends everything. Finds himself wishing he could eat the slop he’s feeding pigs and decides even his dad’s servants eat better than that.  He decides to go see if his dad will hire him.

His dad approaches him with open arms — runs to him even, eager to embrace him and welcome him home.

But there’s another son.  A son who is really angry at his dad’s response to his brother.  Because he has been the “good son” who has never left his father’s house or done anything “really wrong.”   He does not have the ability to understand why his dad would even allow his son to come home — much less hug him and throw him a party.

I wonder what would have happened if the “good son” had seen his brother first.   What if he had been the first to greet him?  His words would have been something like, “WHAT are you doing here?  How dare you come back after the way you have treated our father.  Go before he sees you — you don’t deserve to be here!”

Too many times it is the “good” church members who see someone trying to come back to God first…. And they come compelled to stop them.   “Why are you here?  This is not a place you belong.  We don’t want you here!”

One of the things a friend of mine told me in high school was that the hardest thing about becoming a Christian was getting past other Christians to get to God.

This is a powerful reminder to me that I need to be like the dad in the story whenever someone wants to explore the idea of being a Christian.  I need to focus on the relationship, not the behavior, and make sure that I am letting them know that no matter what, grace is theirs.

When someone is attempting to find their way to God for the first time, or back to him after a rough patch in life, we need to be the arms of Jesus and welcome them with an embrace and a party — not condemning them for their sin or making them feel somehow that we are more worthy than they and that they don’t belong.  

This is an old song that I have shared before (back in October, even), but I can’t talk about this story because the song moves me so much every time I hear it.

https://youtu.be/pPen1jQrlhU

(This concept of this devotional is not mine — I got it from the book “Fall to Grace:  A Revolution of God, Self and Society” by Jay Bakker (Son of Jim and Tammy Faye).

By or For?

Ponder this quote:

Elbert Hubbard said “ We are not punished for our sins, but by them.”   

Think about it.  The “bad” son sins were a great punishment to him.   But the “good son” was reprimanded by his father and was told — ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”   He reminded him that constant communication with him didn’t make him better than his brother — because his love was equal for both of his sons.  He made sure the son understood that since he missed all the consequences of the choices his brother made, he should have a gracious spirit when his brother had finally come home.  

As one of those folks who managed to avoid many pitfalls of life, it is always tempting to think that I somehow am better than everyone else around me.... that I somehow have more of God's favor.  But the truth is -- I just missed out on the pain and punishment of some sins.

Remember these clear words from Ephesians 2:8-9.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast.

It's not because of what I've done....

***

It's #ThankfulThursday.  What are you thankful for?

Are you the good one or the bad one?

Is there such a thing as a “bad person” or a “good person”?  I would say that we are all a mixture of both.  The only other choice is that we are all bad people — because it’s clear that all of us have missed the mark in one way or another.

But in a world of dichotomized thinking we often have people placed into one category or the other in our own minds.

Thank about the story of the prodigal son.  There were two sons.   One went off and did a lot of awful things, squandering his inheritance.  People often see him as the “bad son.”

The good son stuck right by his father, loyal, doing everything write.  The “good son” so to speak.  But when we see what was in his heart by the way he responded to the grace offered to his brother.   He was bad — just in a different way.

I used to say when I was younger that my tombstone would read “her only sin was self-righteousness.”  I identify with the “good brother” in so many ways.  But I must confess that often in my life, I have showed the same anger and judgment in my heart towards others when I resent the lavish grace they receive from God when they didn’t do anything to deserve it.

And God has to remind me once again that grace is never deserved.  It is “unmerited favor” — something we can’t earn.  Grace is a thought that changed the world.

Today I wish you grace and the freedom that comes to offering that grace to all those around you… because God shows it to you every day.

Because Grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace finds beauty in everything
Grace finds goodness in everything

Take Courage

 A friend of mine sent me this song when we were talking about foster parenting.... so appropriate.

Slow down, take time
Breathe in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come

Take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

Sing praise, my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His words lead you on
Do not forget
His great faithfulness
He'll finish all He's begun

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory!

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
Watch your triumph unfold
He's never failing
He's never failing

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
Watch your triumph unfold
He's never failing
He's never failing!

He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting

Grace Plus

 Anybody else raised in an environment where following the rules was the most important thing you had to do?

Don’t drink, smoke or chew, or hang out with those who do?  

I’m raising my hand right now.  

This weekend I read a book called “Falilng Into Grace” by Jay Bakker and the author calls this “Grace Plus.”

All you need to get to heaven is grace plus (fill in the blank)

I grew up knowing that I needed grace plus daily devotions.

Grace plus wearing dresses

Grace plus avoiding movies, dancing, and “sinful music”

Grace plus abstinence from anything that could harm the “temple of the Holy Spirit”

While I am not suggesting that some of the things I listed are important and Biblical it’s the word plus that is the challenge.

Because even if I had smoked, chewed tobacco, wore pants, went to movies, danced, and listened to the devil’s music… and never had devotions — I would still have been a recipient of grace.

Grace period.  Not grace plus.   It’s an eye opening away to approach life.  You’ll hear more about grace in the coming days, but maybe today it’s time for us to all realize once again that it’s nothing but grace.   Nothing.

This song always reminds me of our days in Mankato.... I learned this at that church!

happy Valentine’s Day

Bart have me this today.  He wrote sections of it and I cried my way through it.  

I’m so blessed to be married to him.  

And I got him Fleet Farm Orange sticks.  So lame.  

A couple things I"ve learned about moving forward

 As you may know, I decided this year that I wanted to develop at least 8 new habits this year.  So I started a group on Facebook suggesting we start with two and then add two new ones each month for four months.  Which was a good plan because it's doable.  But I started with 8 so now I'm maintaining ten.

Here are two things I learned from two separate podcasts I listened to recently.

The first is that you just gotta do the bare minimum every single day to form a habit.  This means that if the habit I forming is to walk for exercise every day you just have to make it a habit to get the tennis shoes on and walk for a minute a day to start.   There's power in momentum.

The second is that you can add a little bit more to each habit as you go along.  The podcast I heard this morning talks about how every person who is the best in the world at what they do didn't suddenly break a record.  They just practiced daily and each day went a tiny bit farther, pushed a tiny bit more, lifted a few ounces more, pushing themself day by day to do a little more until they became the best in the world.

It's interesting how this works.  Let me give you an example.

Since COVID hit I have been watching way too much TV.  So I decided that I was going to read 20 minutes a day this year.  I was just going to form a reading habit.  So before I can turn on the TV I have to read for 20 minutes.  My goal is 60 books this year and I have already read 17.  Why?  Because when I grab the book (or the iPad) and get started, sometimes I don't want to stop.

Last year I started walking and my goal was 2500 steps a day.  I increased it by 500 a week and by the time I got to August and had the stress fracture in my foot I was walking 9500 steps a day.  I was walking farther than I had ever thought possible.

Here's another example.  I decided to do at least one thing each day that would declutter or clean something in the house.  Typically Bart does the cleaning and my areas (which aren't very big -- my desk, two shelves of one bookcase, my nightstand, half the dresser, and about 1/3 of the closet) get cluttered.   (I am a minimalist -- the rest of the space in the house belongs to Bart and his stuff.  He's the "homemaker" -- I make the money.  I know, weird, huh?  But it's how we role and I don't need a lot of space.

Anyway, you wouldn't believe how much doing one thing a day and having a 43 day streak has done.  All of those areas are really tidy... and they stay tidy.  I have even washed our toilet a few times ... it's kinda crazy how much difference a few minutes a day makes.

If you want to form a new habit, just pick something and do it every single day -- even if it's just a little bit.  And you'll be surprised how much you get done.

Next month I'm adding two more habits (actually replacing one).  I'm going to drink nothing but water for a month (actually for the 40 days of lent).  And I'm going to replace my "exercise daily" with a step goal of 2500 again with the idea of increasing that every week for the month.  Who knows... maybe if I keep adding by the week I'll make it back to where I was last year before I hurt my foot.

All this stuff is really empowering to me.  This month I went back to strict Keto and I've lost 17 pounds in 2 weeks (of course, I gained twenty the month before, so it really doesn't count for much).  But the daily streaks and increasing a little bit each day work for me.

Maybe it will for you.   Reach out if you want to know more -- I'd be happy to help!

Is there enough?

You’ve probably heard the concept of abundance verses scarcity before.  It’s the idea of how we approach God’s world and his work.   Having been a part of many congregations and several non-profit organizations, I have seen how each of them leans to one side or another.

If life is approached from the perspective of scarcity, sharing isn’t possible.  The approach is that “we” (whether we means our family, our church, our team, our organization) need to hoard everything without giving it away.  We hold on to things tightly thinking that we don’t know where the next bit of energy …. the next dollar … even the next idea will come from.

The opposite of this is abundance… where we approach life believing that God has everything we need.  He has all the resources at our disposal and it isn’t up to us to hoard them.  The children of Israel noticed this with the manna — if they tried to keep it it was a sign that they didn’t believe God who promised to give them what they needed — and the manna got gross (for lack of a better description).  In Exodus 16 we read the story:

In his instructions to them about the manna  Moses said , “No one is to keep any of it until morning.”

However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

I love this passage from Exodus 36… 

Moses called Bezalel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whose mind the Lord had put skill, everyone whose heart stirred him up to come to do the work.  And they received from Moses all the contribution that the people of Israel had brought for doing the work on the sanctuary. They still kept bringing him freewill offerings every morning, so that all the craftsmen who were doing every sort of task on the sanctuary came, each from the task that he was doing, and said to Moses, “The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do.

Much more than enough!  That is what happens when we all approach life from a spirit of abundance.   When each of us, with arms open, brings all that we have …. Then there is much more than enough to get whatever we need to get done done.  The verses above say that  they still kept bringing Moses their offerings every morning.  

We are really making progress in our community with Vision 30 and CarePortal and our other programs even in  the midst of a pandemic.  Stuff is happening — there is momentum — word is getting around and the hard work of so many is paying off.  It’s really cool to be a part of all that God is doing.  It is a LOT but it is good!

So let’s start our Friday knowing that if all of us keep bringing God all of us … every morning — that there will be much more than enough … for our families, our churches, our neighbors, our organization, and our community, 

MUCH more than enough!

It's Decision Time!

Sometimes there’s a moment of decision — a clear time when we are asked to choose between one thing or another.  

This happened for the people of Israel.  Remember the story?  Moses went up to the mountain to talk with God and Aaron got the people together and they came up with idea of making a golden calf to worship.  Moses comes down the mountain and gave Aaron a little “talking to.”  

He realized something and then asked a question:  

And  when Moses saw that the people had broken loose (for Aaron had let them break loose, to the derision of their enemies), 26then Moses stood in the gate of the camp and said, “Who is on the LORD’s side? 

Regardless of what kind of idols we have unconsciously built there is always that moment of decision.  It’s not just one decision that we make at a point in time that sticks forever — it’s a consistent decision every time something new comes up.  Every time we miss the mark or step away … if we listen closely enough — we can hear the Holy Spirit whispering, “Who is on the Lord’s side?”

Today and every day I want to raise my hand to that question — whatever the cost, whatever the future holds …. I want to recognize what God is asking me to walk away from in order to stand on the Lord’s side.

I was a pretty intense Christian teenager — a Jesus Freak — so to speak…. So I was very motivated by this hymn.  I can still feel my heart swell as I remember how I felt when I sang:

By Thy call of mercy, by Thy grace divine,
We are on the Lord’s side—Savior, we are Thine!

So Far, So Good

Have you ever looked back and thought "wow.... we've come a long way!"

This is also true in my personal life if I look back on several situations…. in our marriage, in the lives of our adult kids — who started their lives with so much trauma and heartbreak — in my own personal life with topics (saw a picture of myself 4 years ago and I DO look thinner now :-), in my relationships — there are so many ways that we can say “We have come so far.”

What about you?  In looking back can you see growth, change progress?  And have you also been able to see God’s goodness throughout the journey.

I was reminded of this song from back in the day today that clearly reminds us of this message.

I’ll share the lyrics because the song because you don’t always click on my links that have 80s hair.

We have come so far, You have been so good.

When I trace the road that we have traveled, I've got to tell you Lord,
I look at where we are, and see where I could have been
I need to say again, You've been so good...
Who would have guessed that we would come so far?

Ok, SO my personality just had me wasting 20 minutes trying to find this song online and it simply isn’t there.   Amazon music promised it and then I subscribed and it wasn’t even there.   

But, in my journey through the internet I found this whole Truth Concert. 

A really good song called “He is able” is around minute 23… but this will give you a flavor of what kind of stuff I was listening to and the kind of concerts I went to back when I was in my 20s.  :-)

https://youtu.be/etAauQYZfwk