Sunday, February 28, 2021

On Being a Pastor's Wife....

Growing up in pastor's home, you'd think the last thing I'd want to do is marry a pastor, but I can't tell you how grateful I am to have made that choice.

I'm going to take a little trip down memory lane ...

When we were engaged I 1995 I drove out to the little town of Belgrade to spend the weekend there.  Bart had two churches, and they were both pretty small.  I stayed overnight with a couple of the dearest people ever -- Rodney and Adele Peterson.  They were in their 80s.   I would drive up and hang out with Bart at the parsonage where he lived (I was still working and living two hours away).  I would then, around 9:30, head over to Rodney and Adele's and we would watch reruns of Cheers. Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.   I stayed until Monday morning really early and then would leave and drive back to my office to start another work week.   While the congregations were small, there were many amazing people there who we loved very much.  We were married in 96 and started foster care.  By 1999 we had seven children (all of them adopted or heading there) and we moved to Luverne.

We have loved every place we lived, but Luverne was the best time in our families life.  We moved there when our youngest was 3 and our oldest was 13.   Our kids grew up there.  We stayed until our oldest was 29 and in college and our youngest was 10.   We had so many great friends there.  After church on Sundays we would gather up whoever wanted to come and head across the street for lunch at Pizza Ranch, sometimes having as many as 30 people in the back room.  We had Sunday night picnics in the park as a church almost every weekend of the summer.  We led the beginning of a second worship service.  We watched so many soccer and little league baseball games, developed relationships with a great school system and its teachers (it was literally a block away).   There were several families with kids the same age and we parented together.  Many of kids still think of Luverne as "home" even though we haven't lived there for 15 years.   

We then moved to Mankato.  What a great church and what great people!  Our season of life?  Not so great.  This was our time of raising a LOT of teenagers who made a LOT of bad choices.  This was also when I started blogging.  Our years in Mankato were all reported daily on the blog.   What a ride that was. But the whole way through there were these amazing people at our church who supported us no matter what.  Some of them are now in heaven... like my friend Sue who I miss every day.  This was also the time when we lived a couple miles from Mike and Kari who were and are some of the best friends we've ever had.   We hung out together almost every weekend for years.  

Then came Robbinsdale.   We moved to a smaller house intentionally, taking only 3 kids with us and telling them (jokingly of course) not to tell their siblings our address.  But by the time we left there we were living with 8 children and 2 grandchildren in a 2400 sq. ft. house with only 2 bathrooms.   But in the back drop of all the young adult drama was our church.  I was able to play in the band "Testify" -- one of the highlights of my life.   We had a women's group that met every Saturday morning and those women walked through so much crap with me.   The call from a guy in Virginia (accompanied with a call from God) took me away from all that support.

And then we came to Danville to a church full of really good people.   The most devastating event of our lives happened there, and yet so many of those folks jumped in to support us during really hard times.   We met, loved, and buried our dear dear friends, Tom and Betty, people Bart never wanted to bury.   While we knew it was time to move on, those who loved and supported us there became a part of who we are.

Now we are in a church similar in size to the first one Bart pastored.  And there you will find amazingly kind and loving people who are loyal to each other and to their church and appreciative and not critical of their pastor.  What a huge blessing.

Each Sunday of the last 25 years (with very few exceptions) I have helped Bart prepare for worship in one way or another and have gotten kids ready to head to church.   While there we have been loved, supported, and treated well by hundreds of people who have become part of who we are.   We have walked with them during the highest points of their lives and they have done the same with us.   

I've always seen my life as a tapestry -- one woven by the people and experiences I have had.  And the members of our churches have been a constant source of love, joy and support in this tapestry -- strong, vivid colors representing meaningful relationships.

While many assume that this role is a difficult one, I've never seen it as such.  It's an honor -- a privilege -- a blessing to be allowed to be so interwoven with such a diverse group of God's people that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So... if you are one of those people, thank you for blessing us so much.   Our lives are what they are because of you!

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