Monday, June 18, 2012

It's not about me (I think I may have said this before)

In an hour or so I'm going to head down to Mankato to the hospital.  I know that today might not be a fun day.  I recognize that in the midst of his  anxiety and stress that Mike not be nice to be.  He might not even want me to be there.

But today has to be about AJ and about the future.  Seven years from now I don't want to overhear Gabby and Isaac bragging to AJ about how their grandma was at the hospital the days that they were born and have him not have a story like that. 

Yesterday Salinda took Gabby's dad out for dinner.  He wasn't very nice to her and she felt really bad.   She called in tears and I explained to her that sometimes it's not about us.  Gabby won't remember that it was a sad day -- but several years from now Salinda will be able to let Gabby know that she made every effort to allow Gabby to be with her dad on Father's Day.

Sometimes being a parent really isn't all that fun.  Sometimes the pain is intense and life very injust.  But there are times when doing the right thing takes precedence over whatever pain or uncomfortable feelings might be present.  It's not about me.

Today it's about Aiden Jay who hopefully will make his appearance.  It's about being supportive to his mom like Mike asked me to.  The hospital has wifi.  i can work anywhere.

I'm getting older and more tired.  But I'm also recognizing that without the pain there is no gain.   Today's pain will be tomorrow's gain.  I've experienced it before and I know it to be true.

Saturday Salinda was taking a nap and Gabby came down to visit Bart and I in our new bedroom.  She and I read books and I did her hair.  I helped her go potty.  We made a picture together with stickers.  And I remembered this day,

We had driven up in a storm for false labor a few days before that, but this time it was C-section in 2 hours and then suddenly receiving a picture on my cell phone that she was already born.   But we got there a bi afterwards.

Salinda's whole pregnancy was super stressful, but the rewards... dang, they are good ones now.  And I think I'm going to be strong enough today that I can handle the stress and there will be good rewards after the pain with AJ as well.

SO, wish me luck, godspeed, and say a prayer -- but make it for AJ.  God's already promised me the strength I need to be the target today :-)

No comments: