More on the Plan for John

The more I think about it, the more satisfied I am with the current plan for John. It is important for Bart and I that our kids have a chance at a good transition to adulthood. If you want to read back to the March and April archives from 2007, you will see that Mike had a real opportunity to make it through that time period. He was in a halfway house, completely paid for. He needed to attend school for 6 weeks in order to receive a diploma from a suburban High School with a great reputation. All he needed to do was go to school, allow them to help him get a job, obey minimal rules, and stay drug and alcohol free. If he cooperated with that program and lived within it's structure, several months later he would have had everything paid to transition into another facility for at least a year after that. It was as good of a deal as he was going to get and it had real potential to provide him support for the next several years of his life. However, within three weeks he had been kicked out of the program and he spent the next year racking up a long list of criminal charges, including at least 7 or 8 felonies, and trying every chemical he could get his hands on. The result may be years is prison once he is tried for everything. But at least he had a plan.

Now John is approaching 18. He is in a juvenile detention facility and up until last week there was no concrete plan for his transition. Now because of the hard work of a worker at our county, the plan is for him to transition to a group home about 6 weeks from his 18th birthday that he can stay in as an adult. He and three other young men will be in a "normal" house with one staff person there at all times. They will be transported to school and work. They will be required to live chemically free, not be aggressive, and help with the cleaning and cooking in the home. They will have assistance managing their money. He can stay there as long as he needs to. Since he will not graduate until January and has no money, this is the only real option for him.

If the details work out for this, he will have the best start we can give him. I have been calling and talking and working on something for him for over a year now, and I feel good about the plan that is put in place. The unfortunate thing, which we have learned, is that he will still be the one who makes his choices. We cannot make them for him. And so we must now provide support, pray, and sit back and watch what happens.

And that, sometimes, the not-doing, is the hardest thing parents are ever called to do.