Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ours



Leon (no longer Napoleon) and Wilson became Fletchers yesterday at 3:34 p.m. All of the children who are currently living at home were in the courtroom with us as well as Dominyk's PCA who was able to take pictures (Thanks, S!!!) The pictures with the judge are very dark and hard to see, but everyone cooperated fairly well for a family photo afterwards. Everyone but Tony handled the whole afternoon well, and Tony did fine in the courtroom, but he is really an anxiety magnet and when we are trying to accomplish something involving stress, he is always the one flitting from person to person pushing every button available to him. He almost ended up missing the event.

After court, we headed to buy bikes for "the new boys." It was the most pleasant bike-buying experience I ever had. I gave them their limits on price, which they did not argue with, and they each quickly made a decision they were thrilled with. When we got to the check-out counter (OK, so we didn't go to a specialty bike shop -- guess check-out counter gives that away) I wanted the price checked as it was different than the sign. It took 13 minutes. Not once did either of my new sons complain or argue or get impatient. As I looked at them I just smiled at their calm demeanor.

ON the way to get the bikes, I explained to the boys that they were now legally ours. That meant that there would be no more social workers, no reports, no monthly visits, and, if they stayed out of trouble, no more court hearings. They sat taking it all in until Wilson finally spoke. "But what about my brother and sister?"

I had to explain to him that the courts never did what they needed to in order for their brother and sister to be adopted and that they would have to stay in foster care until they turned 18. I reminded the boys that we had told their brother and sister that they were welcome to visit any time and that if they chose to they could come live in our community and have as much contact with the boys as possible. They seemed satisfied with that, but the question was still burning in my mind hours later. What about situations like this? Why didn't/wouldn't the court terminate rights on all four kids and at least try to place them together? Why couldn't they have the option of being adopted, even if they didn't choose it? I know, I know, they were too "Old" (14 and 15), but sometimes I wonder ...

After the bikes were taken home and ridden for a while, all of us but Salinda went out to eat (we are well beyond forcing teenagers to come to an event that costs money so that they make everyone else miseraable). The boys chose Buffalo Wild Wings and it was .40 wing night. We had 4 boys who ate 24 a piece and another who ate 18. They were very intent and quiet as they tacked their mounds of wings. All and all it was a pretty good day/night. The least stressful finalization ever... and we believe, our last.

We tease Ricardo (who learned how to eat chicken wings in Guatemala) that he REALLY knows how to eat a wing..... Here's a picture of the bones.

8 comments:

jennifaye said...

Congratulations!
What an awesome picture.

~jen

Megamom said...

Congratulations to your family! What an awesome day for y'all!

Unknown said...

Congratulations! Sounds like a wonderful day.

Monica said...

It's sad about their brother and sister being considered too "old". I am near to adopting my daughter who just turned 17 and was placed with me a week before her 15th birthday. I guess the situation is different since she was a crisis foster placement until I said I wanted to adopt. Since they had actually had a family identified they terminated her father's rights (her mother two years ago which is how she ended up in foster care). My other daughter just turned 13 and we are waiting to find out the date for her adoption. She is now considered "older" too but hardly seems much older than when she was placed with me at 10.

But on a happy note...congratulations! What a great picture of everyone.

Torina said...

Woo hoo! Congrats!

Sunny said...

Congratulations to all the Fletchers!

And btw, my Filipino boys eat chicken exactly the same way. They love every single edible bit.

Tom said...

Congratulations, Fletchers. I'll recommend wings to our girls on the 19th. :-)

Angela :-) said...

Congrats. And, Wilson's question (& the answer) make me sad.

Angela :-)