I am a fixer. It's the way I am wired. I'm the one that people have called on for most of my life to tackle the hard things and make them right. Most of the time I don't mind.... because most of the time I can help someone find a way out of a difficult situation. I have multiple ideas and plans and suggestions and typically one of them works.
Except when situations are unfixable and as my adult children (some not all) live with the consequences of their choices their road gets more and more difficult. When mental health issues are complex and the resources simply non-existent.... when relationships are complex with the "other side" of the family when grandkid's parents aren't together .... when the criminal "justice" system make it virtually impossible for someone to come out the other side of a mistake... those are things that even with all my resources I can't fix.
And it's hard. I go back and forth from trying to help and getting blamed for it, to trying to stay out of it and worrying. I get pulled into things I have no desire to be involved in and I get left out of things that I would have had a good solution for. I give an opinion that is actually followed and if things don't turn out well, I'm to blame. Or give advice that is ignored but I am still the emotional dumping ground when things go downhill.
I would love to hear answers from anyone who has them of how to reconcile all this because I think I'm stuck.
And I'm not having fun.