Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Would you do it again?

Getting together with Cindy last week was amazing.  We talked for three straight hours and probably could have gone another three if her kids hadn’t kept interrupting us by text.  :-). Still so much responsibility for us even with adult children, huh?

One of the questions that she asked me half way through the conversation was, “Would you do it again? knowing what you know now?”

My answer was yes but that I would have done it much differently.  I may write more on that later explaining why and expounding on what I would have done differently in another post.

For those of you who have raised most of your kids to adult hood, I would love to hear your answers to that question.  I’ll let Cindy post her if she wants to.

Would you you do it again?

5 comments:

QueenB said...

The word says man is born to trouble. Our pastor says this all the time "we are either deep in trouble, heading out of trouble, or heading back in". We cannot escape it on this earthly realm. I also think of the analogy of bringing your cross into a room with other crosses, and being able to choose any other cross. You end up picking back up your own. You know it; it is fitted for you, you are equipped for it. So, that being said about the trouble, which we all know is intense and debilitating at times, I would do it again. These children were meant to be here; I/we were meant to parent them. If I were to do anything differently, it would not be how I handled situations with my children, it would be how I handled my reaction and emotional response to the situations. I've learned we cannot control our children. We can only teach them, guide them, help them to want to, and learn to control themselves. I also refuse to take the blame for their actions. I am not responsible for their outcome, only for doing the best I can for them and giving them the tools and guidance they need to help them in their journey. Some of our 12 adopted children have done some heartbreaking, devastating things that have affected their entire family, some are working hard to overcome the adversities from whence they came and have observed from their errant adoptive siblings, and others seem destined to follow them down the same path. I love them all, pray for them, and know our Father loves them more. We do not yet know the end of their individual stories. Yes I would do it again.

HopeinBrokenness said...

I’m still in the middle of this journey (22 years in!) with about half grown/on their own and half still at home. Knowing what I know now, I absolutely would have still followed God wherever He asked me to follow Him, but I would have turned to Him more often along the way. There have been days when I should have done nothing but fall to my knees! I’m thankful that I didn’t know all that would lie ahead on my journey. It makes it that much more obvious that it has all been God’s plan or leading and not mine! Great question for discussion!

N. Kautz said...

I know I am still in the thick of parenting my 3 but I was asked this question as part of a parent panel this summer and my answer was the same as yours "yes, but I would do it differently". But hind site is 20/20! As we venture into the teenage years, I am much more knowledgeable now that I was 13 years ago but I suspect in 10 years the answer will be the same "yes, but I would do it differently". It's odd to think about but with kiddo #3 I considered saying "no" but I thank God for her everyday.

Marci said...

Yes, I would do it again. The joys and heartaches of raising our 11 kids (9 adopted, 2 birth) have been worthwhile. We never thought it would be easy and it wasn't. We never thought we'd make such an impact on 11 lives and we did. As our kids grew and matured their lives, for the most part, have changed for the better...even the daughter that now resides in prison for the next several months has shown growth and self-awareness.
My children have changed me for the better. I find I look at the good before I look at the bad. I appreciate my relationship with God so much more because without his presence I'm not sure we would have survived 42 years of parenting children with so much early trauma. I can look back now and see that the good times far outweighed the bad.

Marci said...

Yes, I would do it again. The joys and heartaches of raising our 11 kids (9 adopted, 2 birth) have been worthwhile. We never thought it would be easy and it wasn't. We never thought we'd make such an impact on 11 lives and we did. As our kids grew and matured their lives, for the most part, have changed for the better...even the daughter that now resides in prison for the next several months has shown growth and self-awareness.
My children have changed me for the better. I find I look at the good before I look at the bad. I appreciate my relationship with God so much more because without his presence I'm not sure we would have survived 42 years of parenting children with so much early trauma. I can look back now and see that the good times far outweighed the bad.