There is nothing Bart and I have debated more about than Kyle and whether or not Bart's intensive parenting early on has made a difference in Kyle's life.
If you would have seen Kyle when he moved into this house you would never believe it is the same person who walks around our home today. He was the angriest 11 year old child I have ever met. He was parentified and had no desire to be have a mother. You can read all about our first year with he and MIke in Chapter 12 of the book I wrote. I beleive that for the first three years he was here he would have loved to have Bart and I divorce so he and Bart could raise the children.
But Bart saw a "seed of greatness" in Kyle and was his champion, his advocate, his therapist, his friend, his prayer warrior, and, most importantly his dad. He hung in there with him through three VERY hard years, until Kyle toned down a bit, and then another few pretty hard years as he grew up and started to move out.
Kyle is not perfect by any means, but he has grown up. He is starting to realize as he starts his senior year of college, that maybe his parents aren't completely stupid and that maybe he needs parents afterall. Bart blogs about his visit here this weekend. It is definitely fun to have him home now.
I say Bart deserves a medal. He may not see the differences he made in Kyle's life, but he was the one person that everyone needs. Everyone needs one person to believe that they can be more than they think possible. The story may not be completely written yet, but from the vantage point of this chapter, it looks like things are heading in the right direction and that Kyle's success is greatly due to those hundreds of hours Bart spent simply listening to Kyle express all that anger.
And I guess I can be given some credit for being the target -- the one person that Kyle felt was the cause of all the anger. Sometimes just being the one they feel safe enough to hate can make a difference too.
No comments:
Post a Comment