The Difference Between Then and Now

We have had days like today before. Many of them. Days of multiple stressors. In fact, the Mike story is not over yet for tonight. The landlord got home and had a call from the police that someone had just been seen leaving with something under a coat from Mike's apartment (that he will be evicted from tomorrow). He was less than cooperative until I intervened. Salinda was rude and nasty and mean to this person who has struggled to help Mike -- she must few her as the enemy because Mike views her as such.

I told Mike as he was trying to convince me how bad this person was and how he was out to get her, "There are three things that make this landlord different than others: 1) She let you move in without a deposit; 2) She was willing to rent to you in exchange for work; 3) She evicted you two weeks later than most would.

He, of course, isn't really getting it. He is blaming her and will find ways to blame him. After the ruccus he caused last night and tonight, we've had to ask him not to come to the house for a while as well. You should have seen the scene between him and Salinda.... sigh.

But the difference between then and now is that we already know what the road ahead looks like. We know that even when things get to the point where we don't think they can get any worse, that we get through it. We know that there is no way to force a child bent on destruction to shape up -- you have to ride the ride, guiding it some, but riding it where it goes.

And so we are less committed to being completely stressed out, but we fume, we fuss, we experience our stress. Apparently, Cindy is feeling the same way as she said on her blog

I am trying to contain and work through my shock and resentment at the way I perceive I’ve been treated lately by people that I went to for help

.

Watch What About Bob sometime and watch Dr. Leo Marvin and how he goes from a perfectly sane person to a lunatic. There is one part in the movie when he takes Bob, the "crazy person" to the psych hospital and Bob charms everyone. The psych hospital discharges Bob and suggests that maybe the psychiatrist might like to check himself in to get a grip.

This is what happens to us periodically, and apparently Cindy as well. It is so insulting to take a child in for help and to be told that we really must be the problem.

I'm very pleased that Salinda's therapist today made sure that she told me that she thinks Bart and I are doing all the right things. That is always a much better response than the "it must be the parenting" that we've heard so often.

So, even though I don't like the place we're in, we've had worse days. And we will have worse ones in the future. And when it is all said and done, God's grace will be sufficient. And that's all I need to know.

And I am in love with my IPhone. I am thinking about sleeping with it stuck inside my pajama bottoms just so I'll be sure that nobody touches it during the night.