A Trip Down Memory Lane

I forced my children to go with me along a trip down memory lane. Everyone but Tony was mildly interested ... Tony was clearly not. But I told him we had time to kill and I was driving so he was stuck.

We drove into town and drove by the Burger King where I first fell in love (no, not with Bart). We drove around the building where I was a hall director, parked in my old parking spot, and I described my apartment from outside. We drove around buildings where I had my classes, the building where the then man of my dreams had his office, the place where he lived, and places where I ate my meals. I showed them where I played racquetball and where I did my internship. I showed them places where I worked during summer internships, and pointed out bulidings where some of the people they knew had gone to classes over the past few years. We drove by my church and I showed them how small it used to be and how big it has grown.

I was 21 when I moved there and knew so much about everything. I learned much more while I was there than I anticipated about many facets of life. And, as I just blogged, made lifelong friends.

Sometimes my kids, becuase they were adopted as older kids, really have no vision of who I was before I was a mom, and for me it is fun to reminisce along with them. I've taken them on this tour three or four times in their lives already and the ones who had been on it where sighing and moaning "we've already seen this, Mom." But I figure if I don't tire of it, neither should they.

I'm a lot older now -- twice as old as I was then -- but those were formational years for me and I wouldn't trade them for anything. They were filled with my some of my highest highs and some of my lowest lows. And when I look back, I realize that I survived.

In church yesterday, there was special music. And as I sat there listening to the song, not knowing where Salinda was, I was filled with a deep sense of peace.

This is the song:

If You Want Me To Lyrics

Artist(Band):Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Again on my way home, thinking about my experiences of 20 years ago, I was filled again with confidence -- because I walked those valleys, and I was OK. And the valleys I walk through now are no tougher, just different, and, once again, I will be OK.