Well, the plan to not call the cops kind of got put aside when Salinda was outside our window at 11:00 last night throwing large rocks at the window. I had reminder her that she was grounded and that if she left we would have to call the police... that led the rock throwing and then we did call the police.
The officer was here three times. She kept running off and then reappearing a few minutes after the officer left to taunt us and tell us we were dumb liars.
After we had given up she arrived and I just told her we were goign to settle it in the morning. But the officer was smart enough to park at the end of the lot with lights off so she came back as soon as I notified 911 that she had returned. She had to physically sit Salinda down she was so rude.
She got a talking to and finally went to bed and stayed there. The officer explained to her that she was giving us no reason to let up or compromise when she was being so rude and disrespectful.
To prove to her that I was willing to take a step towards compromise I did a couple things for her this morning. I had to wake her up late this morning, but she woke up cooperative. Maybe last night was a turning point, or at least a start up the next hill since she's hit bottom.
It's a painful thing being so young that you have to have parents to survive when you know so much more than they do. But the bottom line she's hearing from everyone is that you have to follow your parents rules, whatever they are. Period.
Bart shares his view of the night here and contrasts her desires with those of Mike here.
I'm not sure it's a good thing when stuff like this becomes routine, but we're a lot less stressed this go around. I had a brief physical this morning and my blood pressure is excellent and I have no signs of anxiety or depression. Guess God know what God was doing when I was created with such a strong and unphasable personality.
3 comments:
Hi, I happened to stumble across your blog, and I read some of your battles and struggles with Salinda. Although I currently don't have any children, I do remember what a confusing and stressful time it was to be 14. When I was 14, I strongly rebelled against my parents, and honestly, there were times when I wanted to use rocks to smash down our entire house. I thought my parents were horrible parents, dumb, and annoying. After fights with them, I'd retreat to my room and cry, blaming them for everything, thinking that they were horrible parents and feeling sorry for myself. To some extent, I enjoyed living in a pool of misery and self-pity.
I also remember that even when I was screaming at my mom that I hated her, deep down I knew that my parents loved me, and I felt horrible for yelling obscenities at her and my dad, which only led me to treat her and my dad even worse (I wasn't exactly the most logical person at 14...).
However, my relationship with my parents gradually improved as I attended high school, and by the time I left for college, I was on pretty good terms with both of my parents. Now, I call my mom almost everyday, and I still ask her opinion for important events. For me, 13, 14, and 15 were the WORST years of my life-it gradually got better from there. However, no matter how much I denied I needed parents (and trust me, I REALLY denied it), I did need them to support and continue to love me through that confusing time period. I can't even imagine how devastated I'd feel if my parents decided to give up on me. I just want to encourage you to hang in there and ride out this wave, and even if Salinda denies that she needs parents, she does. Although I don't know your exact familial situation, I believe that sometime in the future, Salinda will realize how lucky she was to have parents who gave her unconditional love.
P.S. For some advice, have you tried letting Salinda write out what she thought you and your husband are being unfair about? Maybe you can make a couple of compromises, or do something else to make her feel that her feelings and opinions are valued.
Thanks for the encouragement. I try to remind her often that we love her and are committed to her.
I've had her write down her feelings often.... Sometimes it seems to help sometimes it doesn't.
We compromised some today. I'm getting ready to blog about it.
It's certalinly a journey for both parent and teen
Claudia-thanks for posting Kady's comment. It helps me with my 15 yr old Drama Queen who came out of the same mold as your Salinda. I will remember Kady's words when we are experiencing the bad times. It helps so much to hear from someone who has been through it. Kady-THANK YOU FOR WRITING! (Claudia-if you choose not to post this, will you please send to Kady?)
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