I do not think that anyone would ever use the words "politically correct" to describe me, neither in person nor online. And sometimes, being so politically incorrect in a public way, like a blog, may not be a great plan. Up to this point, I have ignored that issue, but recently I've been thinking that if I ever decided to pursue another position in the adoption field, my candid posts and often odd sense of humor might not be viewed as a positive thing.
Kari has been wrestling with this issue as well and she and I talked about it this week. And I had to go back and remind myself of why I blog and what my intention is.
First, I blog for me. In the past more so than now, I relied heavily on the blog as a place to go when there was nobody else to listen and I was very stressed, especially if Bart wasn't home. Somehow, sharing with all of you the intense stress I was under calmed me down. Lately, however, I have tried to pick up the phone and call a friend, or wait until I can talk Bart instead, as to not always air our dirtiest laundry in the front yard.
But secondly, I blog for adoptive parents. I blog for people who live in a small town, like we used to, where they don't have other adoptive parents who understand. I blog for those who think they are the only ones who feel a certain way so that they can come to my blog and say, "OH, I am so relieved. I'm not the only one who feels like......" I blog for parents who plan to adopt, not to scare them away, but to show them that regardless of the horrible things that happen to me, I can keep going and that anyone, even imperfect me, can do this.
So, I blog as adoption support for others and for myself. Certainly there are others who read my blog -- it's public and so I am sure that some of my neighbors, possibly my kids teachers, social workers, members of our congregation, members of our extended family, and lots of others read what I write. But my intention is that we, as adoptive parents, support one another through the medium of my blog.
And while lately I have tried not to be as specific about some of my children's issues to protect them a little more, I am not going to stop being candidly me. If I second guess every sentence I type, then it will cease to be the gut-wrenchingly honest portrayal I have always hoped it would be.
And I guess, if some day, I don't get a job because of what i've printed, then maybe I wasn't supposed to have that job anyway.
5 comments:
Claudia, Thank you for your blog, your sense of humor, and your candid portrayal of real life. There is nothing like getting it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak!!!! Would you really care to work for somebody who could not appreciate honesty and forthrightness? The colors all look so different when you see the picture from the adoptive family perspective, compared to the clinical sterility of the social services perspective. Great job, your blog is a stress reliever for me!
Because of blogs like yours and Kari's I don't feel so alone in this lifestyle we chose. Adoption and the issues that come with it can't truely be taught from a book. I have always, always preferred listening to parents who live the life and walk in my shoes. Thank you for your honesty in your blog Claudia-stay true to who you are as you give so many of us our only laughter for the day, our only inspiration to keep on trying, an idea we haven't thought of, a sense of friendship so we are not isolated. Plus we learn how to "keep on keepin on"!
claudia, i give all of you in the "blog world" lots of credit. it has changed my life as there is just no one in my little world to speak about certain things with. i do worry about some of you with your openness on-line. people can be vicious and i know i would never be able to do it. but i think you woman all have way more backbone than me. you all give great comfort to the rest of us. thank you.
I echo what queenb says. I worry sometimes too, about being too honest, and consider pulling the plug on my own little corner of the internet. I consider crawling under a large rock at times. But I live in that small town where no one understands what we are doing, and I know how much I appreciate the honesty of folks like you. And the humor. It is easy to stop laughing on this journey...but not so healthy.
Claudia, I have been lurking on your blog for quite some time now and consider it both a source of inspiration and a source of information. My husband and I have been exploring adoption for over three years now- started with international, but the program and timeline fell apart on us, agreed to foster as a favor to a local agency (extended family member was case worker) for two highly special needs toddlers who went through six homes in three months, took a placement of a three month old we were told was going to be a termiantion, now it is most surely a reunification (he is seven months old now), and have decided, after much prayer and thought, to open ourselves up to older child/sibling group adoption through foster care. Blogs like yours (and Cindy's) have really helped us to see that it is possible and we are just quirky enough to want to try. Do you have any advice to parents who have begun searching photolistings for children to adopt? We just sent in a request on a sib group of five in Texas.....what questions should we ask? how does the process work? what "buzzwords" should we pay attention to in listings? We are excited and terrified at the same time and sure could use advice from someone who has been there!
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