John called tonight. To make a long story short, he is frustrated with the place he is living. He had so many different warnings from the managers of the house from the beginning that he needed to think about what it would be like to live in a place with so much supervision and with other adults who were much more delayed than he was. But he was in a big hurry to get out of the place where he was and so he wanted a move NOW. He got to move when he wanted to but now he is having second thoughts. And now he's 2 days away from 18 and really can't have any second thoughts.
But I knew this would be the case when he made this choice. I let him make it, knowing we would be at this point right now. I'm just praying he can make it through the next month until football starts and that he gets a job (he's really bored). He has always wanted to play high school football and he has enough credits left that he can go one more semester of high school. If he can just hang in there until then, maybe he'll stick with it and make the right decision.
And then there is Salinda. All night long she has avoided me, sleeping most of the time. She tends to hybernate in her room when she is home, which I don't mind, except that I knew that she was going to pop into my world around this time and ask to leave. And although I'm not going to explain the whole reason why she can't leave, she knew that the answer was no before she asked the question. But I knew, all night long, that she was going to come ask. So I was waiting for the question, and then what I anticipated would be a huge fit. She didn't give me the huge fit when I anticipated that it would happen.
But then ten minutes before I'm ready to finish this blog post and go to bed, she wants a ride to a friend's house to get her glasses. She's once again spewing venom at me because I'm not eager to jump and serve her when she hasn't done what she's supposed to do all night long. I asked her to have a simple conversation with me and I would take her, but she's refusing to do that.
I suppose I could take her and we'll have a conversation in the car.... But it won't be pleasant. At least I'll get it over with though and won't have to have it tomorrow. Gotta self-differentiate. My mantra.
Bart is in DC. We are talking online. I don't even want to get him stressed out, so I'll not share any of this junk with him. Maybe he can have a good night's sleep and not think about it....
1 comment:
It's a good thing you understood that all the things she said to you while in detention were short-lived, or else this would be very disappointing right now. Does "sticking around the house" literally mean for minutes or hours hibernating in her room and not interacting with her family? I can imagine your frustration with this child right now. You want so much for her and she just wants to go have fun 24/7. I know I don't know the whole story behind why you give her as much freedom as you do, but there are so many times I read your posts and think "well, I'm sure she saw that coming, Salinda did the same exact thing last week or month when she gave her that privledge". I can't help but think that your life would be so much easier (healthier?) if you gave her more limits - but YOU know what's best for her.
Hang in there - summer (and all that free time) is almost over.
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