For years we haven't had attendance issues at our house. Our kids know that if they stay home then they don't get to use electronics and they have to stay in their rooms except for meals. For fourteen years this has worked well. Until it isn't.
Suddenly one of our children has realized that we can't MAKE him go to school and that we can't really physically move his 300 pound body away from electronics. So he stays home "sick." Grant it, he may be sick some days, but often he is feeling well enough to go to school... he sure is feeling well enough to argue continuously about it. And now he has learned a new trick. If he doesn't want to go to school and we somehow can force him to, then he goes into the nurses office with complaints all day and they have to put up with him until they finally call and say he needs to come home.
The hard thing about 3 or 4 of our kids is that whether they are there or not they are failing. And if anyone out there is saying that you can MAKE a 15, 16, or 17 year old do well in school if they don't want to, please let me know your tricks. We have tried everything and if they want to fail there isn't anything parents can do.
Yesterday another child was too sick to go to school so we had two home, but at least that one followed the rules. And today it appears Dominyk is really sick... so he's home, but everyone else went, for now.
Until the nurse calls.
3 comments:
we're on the opposite end of the spectrum, our girls want to go to school, there have been a few times I suspected they weren't feeling well but they insisted on going. Staying out of the chaos at school is their biggest fear. So we don't wait for the nurse to call, just the office informing us that the girls are not appropriate, their in ISS or worse.
You can always pull the plug on the internet and cable TV. If they're unwilling to go to school you can make the environment as boring as possible.
I had a few who were failing in all their classes in spite of perfect attendance. We did all we could (tutors, working with them one on one until we thought our heads would explode, retention, IEPs, etc) think of until their inappropriate behaviors got out of control - and then we home schooled. I know there are lots of positives to home schooling and I love the "idea" of doing it. The reality of home schooling kids who have zero interest in book learning is that its exhausting, unfulfiling and well, basically all the annoying things your kid did before and after school, weekends and school breaks are in your face 24/7/365. They're learning very little (but more than when they were in school) and yet not alienating every kid in town - so pros and cons are pretty even. I would love the formula for MAKING them learn, behave, etc. We have one that we took EVERYTHING away from (per his therapists recommendation) and he simply didn't care enough to earn anything back. He could spend tons of time complaining about it to anyone who'd listen, vilifying us at every turn, but just did not and will not work for anything.
Good luck, you're in a difficult position with him being so big, so defiant, and obviously clever enough to pull this off.
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