Staying Off the Hope Train

Bart and I just had an annoying conversation that made me recall the blog entry I wrote about the hope train.

Mike was here for lunch and you should have seen his face when I mentioned employment. He's really not interested in a job. He now figured he has us back in his life -- we've fed him several of his last few meals, he's doing his laundry here, and we've given him rides. Bart bought him some odds and ends (towels, dishes, etc) and I'm sure he expects us to buy him some groceries. But his response to my suggestion that he actually support himself at all has convinced me not to even get on the hope train.

The housing situation we have for him is temporary and he needs to "get his life together" as he has promised to do many times. But it appears that he is not really interested in any of that -- he wants a "fun" job or no job at all. He has selected a high school he thinks he needs to go to but it will be so far away he'll think we need to give him a ride. He will quickly go back into a rut where we are responsible for everything and he for nothing.

The other piece of this is that you would THINK that the words "thank you" could escape his lips. Homeless and hungry for months, supposedly, and less than 48 hours after we find him a rent-free apartment, he is complaining that the mattress he's sleeping on isn't comfortable. No matter how many meals we feed him, he can't say "thanks."

And of course I have a husband who wants to focus on his disability and how he may not be able to do anything more than this and yada yada yada yada .... but when I am working two jobs in addition to my responsibilities it is annoying that he is unwilling to attempt to get one.

I'm at the end of this rope with Rand as well. He has been getting applications and not filling them out all summer long. To his credit, he has done everything I've asked of him -- which has involved a lot of running errands, some cleaning, etc. but he is most content to do nothing. He is very comfortable and now he is out of money.

So, tomorrow Rand is going to go to the "hire by the day" labor force in town, with me, and he is going to work. He won't like it, but he's had plenty of time to find a job doing the things he wanted to do. Now he needs the money. He can' t pay his cell phone bill or his insurance.

As you can see, I"m ranting and I'm frustrated. Having unemployed children over 18 is very annoying, especially when I am so busy. Watching them do nothing for months on end is enfuriating.

We are heading into a month where everyone will be bored. At this point nobody at our house will be working (Jimmy's temporary job ended yesterday) and summer school is over. So I will begin 30 days of deciding whether or not I want to sit and listen to the chants of "I'm bored" while I try to work or if I'd like to stop working to entertain them.

And so, as you might have surmised, I am angry. I cannot shake my cold, the antibiotics I got from the doctor aren't working, I'm behind in both jobs, and I have a house full of kids who will be bored for the next month. I have 3 children over the age of 18 and only one of them is employed.

Do I have a right to be angry? Probably not. Should I be grateful that everyone in our family is alive and healthy? Probably so. Should I be more perspecacious and recognize my blessings? Defnitely so.

But today I'm sick, I'm crabby, and I'm annoyed and I want change and action NOW.

I'm way more patient than I used to be, but I still have a very long way to go.