Preaching to Myself

I spoke at an adoption orientation at a Christian agency this afternoon. There are times when I speak and I can take it or leave it. Mediocre at best. And then there are times when the audience is amazingly receptive and the message is crystal clear. Today was one of those days when the connection was palpable and people were laughing when they were supposed to laugh and crying when they were supposed to cry and I almost choked myself up.

Here were three of my most significant points:

1) We do not know the end from the beginning. When we start any journey that God calls us to, we begin only knowing the first step.. We may be naive or frightened of the unknown, but like Abraham, God tells us move forward to an unknown land. The adoption journey is seldom an easy one. Even with infant adoption of healthy infants, there is often a great number of valleys, very low ones. Disappointments are a part of the journey. God calls us to obey and he often does not tell us what will come our way. But he promises to go with us. And that's all we need to know.

2) Being the adoptive parent of tough kids is one of the most revealing journeys into the heart of God. God takes us, as His children, and calls us his own. He claims us and says "You are my child." He wraps his arms around us and says, "I will never let you go. You are mine." And then God holds on while we reject Him, while we don't believe He is our Parent, when we rebel, and run away, and fight Him, kicking and screaming. We go through those "teenage years" of our faith journey struggling with who we are and who we want to be. We walk away from God sometimes, reject Him, are spiteful and angry and rude. And yet like us as adoptive parents, He still reminds His children that they belong to HIm.

3) I have mentioned being envious of those who have chosen an "easier" road. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to sit back in a near perfect world that I had created for myself where risks were calculated, danger was always avoided, and life was neat and tidy. But today, when I was looking out at all these couples getting ready to begin the adoption journey I realized that they had a choice to make. Which life were they going to choose? And while either choice is perfectly fine, I KNOW which one is what God called me to do. I looked up this post from almost exactly 2 years ago and it still fits so amazingly well.

I drove away knowing that a message had been delivered and received. But more interestingly, I realized I had been preaching to myself. It was me who needed to remember that God was going with me. And it was I who needed to hear again the message of claiming my children, like God claims me, grabbing hold, enveloping them in my arms, and saying, "You're my child, I'll never let you go." And finally, I realized that regardless of the times when I long for that neat safe predictable existence that so many people crave, that in reality, it's the wild ride I want.

A big bonus was that the four children I brought with me, all adopted through this agency, were perfectly well behaved, cute, and charming. They sat with me in front of the group as I told their stories. They made me proud. And our new boys got to see the Jolly Green Giant for the first time. ;-)

And on my ride home I had a "soul deep sense of being at home in this world despite it's dangers." It was reaffirmed that God is with me, that I'm doing what I want to do, and that I need to keep holding on to my kids, no matter what, just like God does for me.

Pretty good use of 4 hours on a Saturday I'd say.